Phoebe's Wedding
by LizLemonnumber2
Summary: Phoebe was set to marry the man of her dreams when a huge secret came to life and ruined everything in it's wake! Warning: This isn't just about Phoebe and is in fact an Ana/Christian cheating fic (The title might be confusing)
1. Saving her energy

**A/N – So I was inspired by 50 Shades Older (go read it! It will make you hate/love life) to write my own bit of angst. My natural inclination isn't to write this way so bear with me, I am new to this… but I have an interesting story line that I wanted to start. I hope you hate/love it! Every chapter will probably be short – sorry! **

**Please review and let me know what you think! I am very interested!**

**Phoebe's wedding**

**Chapter 1 – Saving my energy **

** I stand in the elevator shaking like a leaf. **My fiancé Rhett is eyeing me nervously. If he knew the appalling act I just participated in, he would be in shock. He knows I have issues with anger, I am unfortunately my father's daughter, but he would never expect me to behave this way. I don't give a shit, I feel free and in control.

My wedding wasn't supposed to be like this. This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life and not a walking nightmare. I was supposed to be the center of attention and I was supposed to be beautiful as I walked down the aisle to marry Rhett Earnhardt. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I never thought I would end up calling everything off. I never thought I would end up calling everything off due to my shithead father's shitty actions. He has ruined everything. I exit the elevator and feel my phone vibrate. I answer it immediately.

"Hey Phoebe… looks like everything cancelled and you and Rhett are off the hook for the wedding," Collette, my bridesmaid, says nervously, "But it seems like your Dad will be losing quite a bit of money from the wedding."

_Good. I cannot wait to deliver that message myself._ "Thank you Collette," I say to my nervous bridesmaid. _God, they are probably all on edge right now._ "Collette, don't worry. You are fine. Sasha was just very inappropriately out of line." _That is the understatement of the year_. I can't bear to tell anyone why Sasha was kicked out of the wedding. I can't even bear to think about it.

We hang up and I keep walking, Rhett stays a foot behind me at all times. "Baby, are you going to tell me what happened?" he asks nervously. I stop and take a good look at my man. My heart hurts as I admire him, but I shake it off. I cannot let the bad and insecure thoughts into my brain. I lean over and kiss him. My kiss isn't a typical kiss; it is full of heartache and hurt. As I pull away he grabs my face and stares deep into my eyes, "Baby, what happened?" His concern is deeper now. I can't tell him what happened, not yet at least. I have already been broken so much tonight.

"Can your Dad get us a plane for tomorrow morning?" I ask in a whisper. Rhett's father is Emerson Earnhardt of Earnhardt Aviation. Our fathers are in business together and that is how we met.

I smile as I remember our first memories together. We both were at the GEH Company Picnic when we were 10 years old. Emerson and Christian talked stocks while Maggie and Ana talked about Rachel Ray's new cookbook. Suddenly, clumsy Rhett spilt potato salad all over my brand new dress that my Aunt Mia brought back from Paris. I hated that clumsy stupid boy for ruining my new dress and I cried for two days. He showed up on the 2nd day with a dress that he picked out himself from going shopping with his Mom. I have been hooked on Rhett Earnhardt ever since. I look into those pretty green eyes and stroke his beautiful blonde hair and smile. After all this shit, he calms me like nobody else can.

"I'll just have them get our honeymoon plane early," he says, still very confused.

"But instead of Maui, I want it to take us to Vegas…" I say as he looks at me in shock.

"Vegas?" he says, his beautiful green eyes going wide.

"Call your Dad. Tell them I got stressed over wedding preparations and that we decided to elope. Tell him to reserve extra places on the plane for Ted, Sawyer, and my mother," I say, letting him finally know the real plan for our wedding.

"Stressed over wedding preparations?" he asks and I know he will need a better explanation for Margaret and Emerson Earnhardt.

"Tell them my maid of honor called me inappropriate names. After all this stress, that was my boiling point so I snapped," I add. That is partly true.

"Is that true?" he asks and I take in a deep breath.

"Sure, why not? I will tell you more very soon. Right now, I just need your Dad to get us a plane to Vegas… I just can't…" I say losing control of my emotions.

"Ok ok Phe," he says as he kisses me on the forehead, "I'll take care of it. Don't worry baby."

"Thank you," I breathe. Suddenly my phone rings again. It is Teddy, _perfect_. _Just who I needed to speak to. _

"Hey what is going on?" Teddy asks concerned, "Collette told me the wedding was called off… Did Rhett do something to you?"

_Oh come on Teddy, you two are best friends._ "No Ted, Rhett didn't do anything," I say as Rhett shakes his head in disbelief, "We are eloping in Vegas."

"Vegas?" Ted asks in shock, "Why?"

I huff, "Dad is to blame. Listen, I don't have time or the will power to explain what happened but I need you to get a bag packed and find Rhett immediately… he'll need help with a few things. I'll make sure to get Mom and Sawyer. I'll explain everything else to you very soon."

"You aren't inviting Dad?"

"Teddy…. I am kicking our father out of my life forever," I say with confidence. It sadly feels good to say that out loud.

"You don't mean that Phoebes. You and him get into shit all the time. Mom always says that you were born with her stubbornness and Dad's temper," he says trying to sound reasonable. I laugh, _my brother isn't reasonable. _

"Ted, Dad really fucked up this time. I am cutting him out of my life for good. Remember how Dad requested I hyphen my name so I am Phoebe Grace Grey-Earnhardt, like Grandma Grace's name. Well that is done. I actually shredded those documents five minutes ago. As of tomorrow, I am an Earnhardt, I am no longer a Grey," I spill to my big brother. I am almost to the point of tears, but it feels good to unload this on Ted. He and I fought constantly growing up. It took us to our early twenties to finally bond and be close. Mom loves that we are best friends now. Ted and Rhett also have a very adorable bromance, and so we all hang out together on a consistent basis.

"Are you sure about this Phoebe? What you are pronouncing is really bold. He is our father." Ted asks and I know my answer.

"He isn't my father anymore."


	2. Her stubbornness and his temper

**A/N – Thank you for the love but let me make something very clear - 50 Shades Older is another writer's fan fiction - the only aspect that is similar is that Christian has a relationship on the side (ok, spoiler alert, but most of you put that together anyway)…. I am in no means wanting to take anything that belongs to that other writer. She just inspired me to write a "Christian cheats on Ana fan fic!" Sorry if I didn't make that clear! **

**I realized that I use the F word a lot in this chapter - It surprised me lol. So be warned if you don't like that word. Thank you for all the reviews! Let me know what you are thinking!**

**Chapter 2 – Her Stubbornness and his anger issues **

**Four hours earlier - Midnight **

"You guys should really start fucking older guys," Sasha says from her perch as everyone giggles, "They know what they are doing!"

"Don't they need Viagra?" Lauren jokes as we all laugh.

Sasha flashes her usual arrogant smile and flips her long brown hair to the side, "Not my man. God, I get wet just thinking about him."

"Ew, Sasha don't be gross," I laugh as I grab another celery stick.

She smiles, "You know there are cookies over here Phoebe."

"Sasha, I am getting married tomorrow, I don't need cookies," I say as I take a second celery stick.

"You are beautiful Phoebe Grey, eat a freaking cookie," she smiles again.

"You are super thin, maybe you should eat a cookie if that older guy is running you around in the bedroom like you say he is," I add as I throw a cookie at Sasha.

"I hear you two fuck at least 15 times every weekend and that his dick is enormous," Lauren yells from the other side of the room.

I think Sasha is actually blushing, "Actually, not as much anymore, but yeah at the beginning we couldn't get enough of each other."

"What happened?" I whisper, concerned for my friend's sex life. She just shakes her head and turns her attention to Collette.

"Here is to Phoebe Earnhardt and her crazy sex life with Rhett," Collette squeals as she hands me a glass of wine.

"Here, here," Sasha says as we clink glasses. I have the best bridesmaids in the world.

**3:00 AM**

** The memory of my bachelorette party makes me shudder. **That was only four hours ago, how can so much change that quickly? I now know that my father has an "enormous dick" and has fucked my friend multiple times and in multiple different ways. I suddenly remember what Sasha told me a month ago, _"he tied me up and we had anal sex. It was mind blowing."_

I have to hold in the bile that is rising up my throat. _What kind of bitch tells her best friend all the ways she has fucked her father?_ Words cannot adequately describe how I feel about that whore. I smile as I picture her on the ground, clutching her eye. Yeah, I punched her in the face. _She said she liked it rough… I gave her rough. _

Ted and Rhett finally make it over to me. Rhett wanted me to wait for him and Ted before I confronted my father. Their plan is to wait on the other side of the door in Taylor and Sawyer's room and come running if I need them. They both know my anger issues too well and they want to save me from doing something stupid. I still won't tell them what happened, but they'll learn very soon.

Ted walks over to me and clutches my shoulders, "Don't do anything stupid. I will be listening with Rhett and we'll come save you if you need it. Taylor and Sawyer are there too." I get sad when I realize that my relationship with my father is practically over and these are the new men in my life. _These are your rocks._

I nod my head and Ted and Rhett walk over to Taylor and Sawyer's door. Ted knocks and Taylor opens the door immediately. We aren't kids anymore so I feel bad for waking Taylor. He is much older now and needs more sleep.

"Um… hey Taylor, Sawyer," Teddy nods, "We have a small situation and Mr. Earnhardt and I would like to stand on the other side of this door for a little while, if you don't mind."

Taylor nods sleepily, as he shows them in. Taylor eyes me standing behind the boys and suddenly looks confused. He reluctantly shuts the door and I rally my mind. _Your Dad fucked your best friend for God knows how long, ruining your family and your wedding._ Yeah, I am ready to face him now.

I knock loudly and wait for an answer. Finally, my mother opens the door slightly. Her sleepy eyes grow wide when she sees me. "Phoebe! Is everything ok?" she asks concerned as she ushers me in.

"I need to talk to Dad," I say confidently.

"At 3 in the morning," my Dad grumbles. His bad attitude really pisses me off.

"Yeah Dad, " I say as he sits up on the king size bed, "I want you to get your things and leave."

_Now I have his attention._ My mother looks at me baffled as my father sits up to meet my eye line. His grey eyes burning into me, "What did you say?"

"I want you to get your shit and go."

"Phoebe Grace Grey," Dad scolds as my mother's mouth sits permanently open, "Are you kicking me out of a wedding that I fucking paid for?"

"I am going to Vegas with my fiancé, my brother, and my mother and you can go fucking home," I say emphasizing every word. He throws the blanket off his leg and my mother gasps.

"Don't talk to your father that way Phoebe," Mom says in shock.

"You wouldn't be saying that Mom if you knew what he did," I say as they both immediately get quiet. I turn to him, my anger boiling out of my ears, "Do you feel like a mother fucking big shot? Well I guess I shouldn't say mother fucking – I should say "best friend of my daughter fucking."

He blanches and realization fills his face. My mother's eyes burn with intensity and I think they might burn through his brain.

"Phoebe…" he says, trying to placate me. _How dare he try to placate me?_

"What the fuck is wrong with you? What kind of father fucks his daughter's best friend," I say not holding back, "How would you feel if I started nailing the first older man I find walking down the street…."

He runs his hands through his hair and I realize that he is speechless. Good, because I have more to say. "Do you have any moral center? Do you know how to be a father? Do you know how to have a healthy relationship with anyone? I am done with you. You are dead to me. Tomorrow morning I am taking Ted, Mom, and Sawyer and I am getting married in Vegas and I am no longer going to be a Grey. I am going to be Phoebe Earnhardt and Emerson will be my new father because the father I was stuck with can't keep his dick in his pants..."

They both stay quiet as I rant. I am shocked my mother isn't saying anything. Then a scary realization falls over me, _she knows._ "Mom," I say, my voice almost a whimper, "Do you know about this?"

She holds back a sob, "We don't go around announcing our marital problems sweetie."

"Dear God," I sob as I lean over on the bed. I shake my head and finally return my eyes to Christian Grey. "Did you know that Sasha talks?" I say in a whisper. My mom visibly shakes her head in disbelief. "I know everything," I enunciate, "From penis sizes to how you like to fuck." He blanches and my mother takes a seat on the bed, holding on to her stomach.

I need to get out of here before I lose my mind. I feel my emotions starting to get the best of me and if I look at my mother's devastated face one more time, I might lose it.

I match his eye line, "I am done with you forever. You might as well be dead. Tomorrow, I am getting a new family and I am done with you. I cannot believe you would do this to me."

I can't stay in this room anymore, I walk toward the door. "Mom," I say almost to the point of sobbing, "Have a bag ready by 10 AM, we are going to Vegas."

I exit and fall into the arms of my big brother. I sob into his chest and his arms wrap gently around me. "I am so sorry Phoebe… I am so sorry," Teddy says as I continue to sob, "He is going to regret losing us, I promise you that."

"Us?" I say as I look up to my brother.

He snorts, "That bastard isn't going to get away with this shit without losing his family first. What he did was unforgivable." _Wow, Dad and Ted are really close. _

I look over at Rhett and I see his face red with worry. I move into his arms as he kisses me multiple times on the top of my head.

"I'll take care of you baby, don't worry," he reassures me as I take comfort in my man. He picks up my chin and stares into my eyes, "We'll go get your bag packed and wash off your face. We'll be in Vegas and married before you know it."

He grabs my hand and we walk together back to my hotel room. As we hit the elevators, Sasha pops out with her bag over her shoulders. We glare at each other and I smile when I see her eye turning black.

"Good to see you going home Sasha, don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out," I say as we take our places in the elevator.

"Like the same way your Dad used to spank me every night," she says smugly and Rhett immediately clasps hold of my shoulders.

"Go home whore…. Go ruin another family…. I'll be sure to say hi when we pass your street corner," I say as the doors close, giving me the last word. "I want the whore to rot in hell," I growl at Rhett.

"Don't focus on her. She isn't worth it. She has always been a bitch."

**My bags are packed and Rhett, Teddy, and I are waiting for my mom and Rhett's parents in the lobby. **Emerson Earnhardt strides into the lobby, followed by Rhett's mom Maggie. "You two should have decided on this a long time ago," Emerson says with a smile, "Big weddings are such a show. It isn't about the show; it is about the marriage that you build."

I smile genuinely for the first time all morning, "Well said Mr. Earnhardt." I lean in for a hug and he hugs me back graciously.

"Christian," Emerson yells for him and politely waves. I turn to see him standing by the ledge, looking on. He politely waves back, but I can see that Christian Grey is not ok.

_Yeah Dad, this is my new family. I am moving on and you will never be a part of my life again. _


	3. What Lies Beneath

**A/N – Thank you for all the love! This chapter will make my plot clearer, but I don't plan on showing my hand quite yet, we will learn what happened between Christian and Ana as we go. **

**Chapter 3 – What lies beneath**

**Ana's POV**

**I sit at the edge of our king size bed and rub my eyes**. I am not sure how long I have been sitting here. I really need to get ready and packed for Vegas. Christian has been on the phone since the moment Phoebe tearfully left our room.

He walks in and throws the phone on the bed. "Well, she canceled everything, leaving me to pay an exorbitant amount for this wedding," he says as he sits in the computer chair across from me.

I gape at him, "Our daughter just told you that you are basically dead to her and all you care about is your money?"

"Of course not Anastasia," he barks, "I was just checking to see if she was bluffing about Vegas." Then if occurs to me_, he needs to stay busy_. He needs something to take his mind off what just happened. He is refusing to accept that Phoebe is done with him. He is fighting for something, _that's a start. _

"Did you call the whore as well?" I ask glaring at him, "Damn, I knew she was young but I had no idea…"

"I told you, she means nothing to me. We ended our relationship three weeks ago like I told you," he grumbles, "Now I am placing a restraining order on her. She keeps calling, asking me to come back. Now that she has devastated my daughter, she needs to go."

"Well good for you," I add sarcastically

He sighs, "I am sorry… God, how did it get this bad?"

"Maybe it started the moment you said, "hey you are young and 22 and my daughters best friend, let me show you my red room of pain"" I say as I jump up to find my suitcase.

"It was bad way before that moment and you know it," he barks.

"Yeah, because somewhere down the road, you got selfish. You started caring about yourself and you stopped giving a shit about me, your son, your daughter, and your whole family," I say, finally getting out what I have wanted to say to him for months.

"I am trying," he whispers.

"Well baby, looks like you are going to have to start from square one because you just fucked everything up again. You were trying to patch up that whole that you dug and it just got a whole lot deeper," I say throwing my clothes for Vegas in my suitcase.

"Phoebe will forgive me again," he whispers and I almost lose my mind.

"Were you in this room Christian?" I snap.

He blanches, pain creeping across his face. _Good_**, **the calm and collected Christian must be an act, an act to keep himself from breaking down.

Realization finally hits him, "You're leaving?"

"Yes Christian," I enunciate every word, "Our daughter is getting married and I was invited to the wedding because I can keep it in my pants."

"What happens after you get back? I thought we were going to use this weekend to work things out, is that over now?" he asks.

I zip up my suitcase and flop down on the bed. He is right, after three years of agony we were going to begin to work things out this weekend. I think Flynn called it a, "a relationship renaissance". Now, everything has changed. I think this may be worse than the original woman who Christian cheated one me with. At least she was thirty years old and nobody I had ever met before. We were still very much married and not going through a separation when I found out about her, but this is still worse, much worse. This was a twenty two year old and our daughter's best friend.

"We are putting us on pause," is all I can manage to tell him.

"Pause?" he asks weary.

"You aren't the husband I am trying to make amends with. Today, you are the man who devastated my daughter. I need to take care of her, she needs to be happy. None of this has been fair to her," I say getting off the bed, "The kids don't know about any of this shit with us, I need to make sure they are ok."

He nods as he runs his hands through his hair. It is starting to hit; _his entire family is leaving without him._

"While we are gone, do some thinking. Please," I plead as I put my massive sunglasses on my face.

I see tears prick at his eyes. "Ted is going to walk her down the aisle?" he asks hoarsely. My heart constricts for this fucked up man.

"I'll make sure he does," is all I can get out without crying. The other alternative is Emerson and I am pretty sure the idea would kill Christian.

I am briefly transported to when the kids were little and living with us. Life was good back then; Christian and I were good back then. It is almost like we forgot what it was like to live without people to take care of. It's like we have forgotten how to take care of each other.

"What do I tell my mother? What do I tell my sister and Elliot?" he asks. That is another issue he refuses to confront, all of this started happening with us pretty soon after Carrick passed.

"I don't know, I don't doubt your ability to make shit up," I say as I walk for the door.

He meets me at the door and grabs my hand, willing me to look at him. "Please come back," he says, searching my eyes for something.

"Sure," I say as I turn to exit. He gives my hand a last squeeze as I exit our hotel room.

I immediately go to Taylor and Sawyer's room. I hope Sawyer knows he is coming with us, he must know by now. Of course Sawyer is at the door with his suitcase soon after I knock. He walks out and I step in. Taylor is also packing a bag and looks up at me when I walk in.

"Taylor, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid," I whisper, "Phoebe pretty much told him that he is dead to her. I am just afraid that when he goes home alone, he is going to start internalizing all of this…"

Taylor nods, "Of course Mrs. Grey, I'll take care of him." The expression on Taylor's face almost causes me to smile. He is pissed off at Christian as well, but he still will take care of him out of loyalty. I also realize that he is probably mad about not getting to go to Phoebe's wedding either. Sawyer and Taylor have raised our kids with us, poor Taylor deserves to go.

"I'll be sure to take pictures of the wedding Taylor," I add.

He smiles slightly, "Actually, I already asked Sawyer to do that."

A huge smile creeps across my face as I hug the only security detail I have ever loved. He doesn't hug me back uncomfortably anymore, we are family.

I exit and make my way to the elevator, Sawyer in tow. As the elevator moves, I am tempted to cry. Let out a big cathartic cry after all the shit that has happened this morning. Then "Mom Ana" comes into clear view. I must stay strong; I must be strong for them. My focus is getting my daughter married into the sweet Earnhardt family. That is my focus for this trip.

**I make my way over to my kids and I already feel better. **Teddy smirks at me, "Cool shades Mom… going for the Stevie Wonder look this morning?"

"Of course," I say hugging my first born.

"Mom, are you ready to go?" Phoebe asks excited. She seems to have recovered quite well after what happened. I walk over and embrace her. "Are you ever going to tell me what happened between you and Dad?" she whispers in my ear.

I kiss her on the forehead, "No baby."

She sighs and I smile, "I am an adult now Mom, I can handle it." I smile as a memory floats through my brain. Phoebe is six and begging Christian to take the training wheels off her bike.

"_Daddy, I am a big girl, I don't need those wheels."_

"Let's go to Vegas," I say overly excited. Distraction techniques are easy with Phoebe.


	4. A Baby Law Student

**A/N - This is going to be shorter chapter but I am going to have a busy week so this may be the only chapter you will get until the weekend! Sorry! Please review! I am serious; they are entertaining to read while I am at work! Somebody asked me today why I was giggling so much at my emails lol.**

**Let me remind you guys that I keep giving you a taste with every chapter of my master plan. More is revealed this chapter but this isn't everything – there are more pieces of the puzzle left to come!**

**Chapter 4 – A baby law student**

**Ana's POV**

I lie back on my airplane seat and try to fall asleep. I have a secluded seat on this plane, perfect for sleeping and being left alone. I am relieved that Maggie and Emerson aren't asking questions about Christian and why he isn't joining us on this trip. Maggie and I have become quite close over the years and I know that she will want an explanation after the wedding is over. Right now, I am going to relax, fall asleep, and try to forget about the events of this morning.

"Hey Mom," Ted says as he takes the vacant seat next to me.

"Weren't you sitting by your sister and Rhett at the front of the plane?" I snap.

"Yeah, but now I am sitting with you," he says, thinking nothing of my tone. I love my son, but I want to sleep.

"Ted, I want to sleep. As you know, I did not get any last night, or this morning," I say with my eyes still closed.

"This will only take a minute …." he says quietly. I open my eyes and I turn to my son. He is fidgeting and looks very anxious. "Mom…. Do you need a divorce lawyer?"

I groan. He is his grandfather's grandson. My sweet boy recently got accepted to the law school at Pepperdine University and he will be starting this fall. So of course, every time anything dealing with law comes up, Ted is first to talk. I only wish Carrick were alive to see him in action, he would have been so proud of his grandson.

"No offense, I am sure you will be a great attorney one day sweetie, but I don't need divorce advice from my son," I say, trying to let him down gently. If I had more sleep under my belt, I wouldn't sound so bitchy.

"I am not giving you advice. I just know that any lawyer you'll get is Dad approved so I just thought you may need someone different in your divorce proceedings…"

I roll my eyes. My children know where the money comes from in this family. They have learned over the years that their father is a self-made billionaire and was the provider for 99% of the items they had growing up. While I am no slouch and have made a great deal of money at Grey Publishing, I cannot compete with Christian Grey. Dad is and always will be the provider for our family.

"Thank you for offering your lawyer friends to me sweetie, but I don't need a lawyer."

He eyes me suspiciously, "I am confused." I really don't want to discuss this now, but he should know the truth. He isn't a kid anymore.

"I am not divorcing your father Ted, at least not now anyway."

His eyes grow wide and his brow furrows, "Mom, he cheated on you with that tramp!" His voice is loud and I immediately admonish him.

"Please, I don't want this conversation getting to Phoebe, this is HER day."

He sighs and whispers "Are you staying with him?"

I want to cry. There is much more to this then he knows and I am fighting back the urge to tell him everything. Maybe if I just tell him a snip bit, he'll back off.

"Your father and I are legally separated," I whisper.

"Legally separated, so it is documented?" he asks.

He sounds just like Carrick. "Yes we have an agreement that continues our lives as ordinary with the exception that your father lives at Escala and I live at the house."

"So… he pays for everything?"

I groan, "Theodore, let me remind you that I earn quite a hefty amount from Grey Publishing, but yes, there are things he needs to pay for specifically, so he does." Ted smirks.

"So what other specifics are in the separation agreement?" he asks inquisitively. He is not going to like what I am about to say.

"We are allowed to see other people…"

I don't know why I am telling Ted all of this information. He is asking the questions, he wants to do this for a living someday, so I guess I should tell him.

His eyes grow wide and leans back on his seat. "So Dad didn't technically cheat on you with Sasha."

"No, he didn't," I say bitterly.

"Wow," he says shaking his head, "How long have you guys been separated?"

Again, I feel like the worst mother in the world for stacking all of this information on my son like this. _He is asking Ana, he is twenty four… he can handle it. You aren't telling anything that isn't truthful_, my subconscious snarls at me.

I look over at Phoebe and I see that she is blissfully in deep conversation with Rhett. _Good, she should stay that way._ "Theodore, what is said here does not go back to your sister. She doesn't need to know this shit. She has already been through so much in the last 24 hours," I whisper my warning.

Ted nods. He understands that protecting his little sister is paramount. "Of course Mom."

I take in a deep breath, "We have been on and off since Phoebe left for college and Grandpa Carrick passed away."

His eyes go wide, "3 and a half years? Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I regret telling you all of this now, there is no way I would have told you this back then," I snap. He runs his hands through his hair and shakes his head in shock. "I am sorry I am spilling all of this on you…"

"No," he interrupts me, "I am glad you are telling me this. I need to know what is going on with my parents."

"I just don't ever want to put you in the middle of your father and me. I don't want to ever turn you against him unfairly."

He snorts, "He is doing a good job of that all on his own. And besides, you told me facts – not opinions. But I do have one last question, if you don't mind…."

"I have told you so much already," I snort, "So go ahead…"

His eyes narrow, "Why are you two stuck in this limbo? Why create your own separation agreement? Just divorce him and get it over with…"

_Shit_. I could tell him about the pre-nup, but I decline. Christian says the separation agreement has nothing to do with the fact that we don't have a pre-nup, but I have my suspicions. I decide to give Ted the answer that will help him sleep at night.

"Because Ted, we have been married for twenty five years. You can't just end something that special so quickly." He nods and smiles and I take a breath of relief. "Now if you are quite finished son, I need to take my nap now…"

As I drift off, I am reminded that there is so much more that Ted doesn't know. This situation with Christian and I is much deeper than anyone really knows.


	5. Happy Times and Elvis Impersonators

**A/N – New chapter! Yay! This one is a bit happier so I hope you like it! I will try to pump more chapters out this weekend because I doubt I'll be able to get any more out during the week! Please review and enjoy!**

**Chapter 5 – Happy times and Elvis impersonators **

**4 years earlier**

** "Mom please don't cry," Phoebe says with a sigh. **

"Why would you just assume I'd start crying," I say trying extra hard to hold back my emotion.

"Because you are you," Christian says as he wraps his arm around me, "Ok sweetie, I think it is time Mom and I left you…"

"Did you get your rain boots?" I blurt out.

They both roll their eyes at me. "Yes mom, I remembered my rain boots. Now will you two leave? I am already late for new student orientation."

"Yes, let's allow our girl to be a college freshman. But one last bit of advice before we go, I know you and Rhett are on a break so remember – college boys are idiotic, stay away from them," Christian warns, kissing her on the forehead.

"Dad!" she whines.

"Bye honey, I love you," I say, hugging her one last time.

"Bye Mom, Bye Dad. I love you both!"

I struggle slightly as Christian pries me from Phoebe's embrace. As we head toward the car, Christian and I link arms and his lips keep residence on my forehead. After a weekend of holding my emotions in for the sake of Phoebe, my tears fall fast down my face.

"Oh baby," Christian says as he holds me, "It will be ok…"

"How do you know that?" I ask in a sob.

Christian chuckles, "Well for one thing, she is attending the University of Washington. You act like we sent her to the University of Maine."

I sigh as he helps me in the car. "She is our baby girl Christian… Now we are just two old people living alone. It is sad."

He kisses me in that spot under my ear that sends shivers down my spine, "What is so sad about having the entire house to ourselves again? Damn, we haven't lived this way since May of 2014."

We smile at each other wickedly, "Do you have something in mind Mr. Grey?"

"Let's get you home Mrs. Grey…"

"Mr. Grey," Taylor says, turning to catch Christian's attention, "Your mother is on the phone, she says it's an emergency."

**"Mom," Phoebe snaps, pulling me from my memories. **

"Yes," I say without thinking of what Phoebe's question was.

She gapes at me, "You want the Elvis impersonator to march me down the aisle?"

I laugh, "Oh no, absolutely not. Your brother will walk you down the aisle. Where is he?"

Phoebe groans, "He went with Rhett to try on tacky tuxes, if they wear those… so help me."

I laugh as she walks toward her garment bag, "Will you help me put my dress on Mom?"

I am so glad she brought her wedding dress despite everything that happened. Her pretty dress couldn't help all that shit that went down these past 24 hours, neither could Phoebe. "Of course baby," I say holding back a sob.

"Mom…" she groans and I smile.

"Stop it. I am allowed to cry during big moments in your life, I am your mother."

"Whatever you say Mom," she says with a chuckle. Her dress is simple, but elegant. She has never been the "ball gown" type of girl like her Aunt Mia. She is classy, elegant, and beautiful. She is my daughter and she is her own woman.

"You look beautiful baby," I sob after we get her in her dress.

"Mom, stop it," she says as she embraces me.

"Just let me cry Phoebe," I plead as she laughs.

A swift knock comes from the door. "Is everyone dressed?" Ted yells from the other side.

We both laugh. "Yes idiot," Phoebe yells, "Come in." Ted strolls in wearing the tackiest baby blue suit that I have ever seen.

"Oh my god," Phoebe shrieks, "You need to change, now!"

"Oh come on Phoebe," he says, trying to reason with his sister.

"No!" she shouts, "We are doing everything like normal! Everything needs to be similar! I don't need you fucking it up; my wedding won't be fucked up again." She collapses to the floor and Ted leaps to catch her. She sobs into his tux, guaranteeing he won't be able wear it again. Thank God she doesn't have her make up on yet.

My heart hurts for my baby girl. She didn't deserve any of this. "Sorry Phe, I was thoughtless. Of course I will change into my normal suit. I'm sorry," he says, still holding on to her.

I bend down to their level and share in the task of holding my daughter as she cries. "Baby, I know this wasn't what you wanted, but we are here and you are getting married to the best man. Then the city of Vegas is going to throw you one hell of a party…"

She stops her sobbing and looks up at me with sad eyes. She looks so young and helpless. "Mommy, I don't want Rhett and me to end up like you and Dad."

Tears prick at my eyes. I take her face in my hands and stare in to her beautiful blue eyes. "Communicate, lean on each other, pick your battles, and love him even when he is being a pain in the ass, these are keys to a happy marriage. I may not be an expert on the topic, but I think those sound pretty good…"

Phoebe giggles, "We'll work on those."

"Good," I say, kissing her on the forehead, "Now let's get you off this floor and let's get you married."

Ted and I help her off the floor and into a chair. I start working on her make-up, idly wishing Kate where here to help me with this, and Phoebe begins to calm down. Ted runs off again, and I am hoping he is going to change out of that terrible suit.

"Do you have waterproof mascara?" Phoebe asks.

"Crap, I don't think you or I have any," I say rummaging through our bags, "I'll call Maggie and see if she has any."

I quickly call Maggie and a second later she bursts through our door. "Oh Phoebe, you look lovely darling."

"Thank you Mrs. Earnhardt."

"Oh stop it with the formalities, call me Mom or Maggie," she says smiling at the pair of us.

"Do you have the waterproof mascara?" I ask as she pulls it out of her bag.

"Of course! Ana, do you mind if I butt in?" Maggie asks sweetly.

"Oh my gosh, of course. Makeup is not my thing," I say as we both laugh.

Maggie smiles wide as she works on Phoebe's makeup, "You are beautiful, my son is a lucky man. You are a natural beauty, like your mother." I roll my eyes and they both laugh. "I mean it Ana, you are beautiful," she says trying to reassure me. She gives me a sad smile and mouths, "_I want to talk later."_ I nod. I like talking to Maggie; she is like an understanding vault of information.

"All done," she beams after 10 minutes of work, "Phoebe you look beautiful."

"Thanks Mrs. Earn…"

"Phoebe," she admonishes.

"Thanks Maggie!" Phoebe beams at her soon to be mother-in-law, "Sorry, I can't call you Mom. That will forever be the lady in the corner."

"I can live with that," she says with a warm smile, "Ok I must go check on my son. I will see you very soon!"

She leaves and Ted re-appears. "5 minutes, they are calling for 5 minutes, are you ready Phe?"

Phoebe freezes, "I need my something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. That was originally Sasha's job." All three of us recoil at the sound of her name.

"I've got blue, borrowed, and old. Mom do you think you can find her something new?" Ted asks, springing to action.

"Yes, go Ted. We don't have much time." He exists quickly and I search through my bag. I smile as I pull out a square Tiffany's box. After we picked out Phoebe's dress, I found this on the way home from work one day and I had to buy it because it matched her dress perfectly. The necklace is a simple diamond, but shines beautifully and brings out the blue in her eyes.

"Mom, thank you," she sighs, "It is perfect."

Ted busts through the door and walks immediately over to Phoebe. I note that Ted looks just like his father when he wears a well-made suit. He wraps a baby blue bow tie around her wrist and she groans.

"It is old, borrowed, and blue," he says proudly, ignoring her groan of irritation.

I can't help but smile at my son, "It kind of works…"

Phoebe sighs, "Yeah, I guess it does. Thanks Ted."

He kisses her on the cheek and tears prick at my eyes, "Your welcome my beautiful sister. If Rhett is ever an ass, come find me and I'll show him who is boss."

We both laugh and I embrace my children. Tears fall down my face as I hold my babies close. Their father should be here. We couldn't stop the bullshit for one day to both be here for Phoebe. My heart hurts, they need their Dad. Even if he has lost touch with who he is, he should still be here.

"Mom, why are you crying again.…"

I sob harder as I try to talk, "I just wish your father was here." I think all three of us are crying at this point. Even Phoebe, who was at the point of murdering Christian earlier today, could fill buckets with her tears, thank God for waterproof mascara. "It just hurts me how much he will regret missing this moment…."

We all embrace one more time, tears flowing. Finally, we are interrupted by an Elvis impersonator. "It is time to marry your hunk of burning love," he says from the door.

"Won't you love to tell this story to my grandkids one day," I smile at Phoebe.

She rolls her eyes and groans, "Let's go!"

I make my way out to Maggie and Emerson and take a seat. Maggie grabs my knee and smiles. "Are you ok?" she whispers.

"Now that I am focusing solely on my daughter, yes I am."

"Good. I don't want you to think you are being forced to talk to me… I just want to help if I can…"

"No," I interrupt her, "I need to get this all off my chest; I don't really have anyone I can talk to anymore."

She smiles sadly, "After the wedding we will chat. Emerson booked us at the Red Rocks Casino Resort and Spa for three nights."

"Emerson is the best because _damn_, I could use a spa right about now…"

Maggie snickers, "We all could."

Rhett finally makes his way to the front and joins another Elvis impersonator. Apparently Elvis is ordained in the state of Nevada.

"I don't know why Emerson and I didn't run off to Vegas, this is fun in a very strange way," Maggie whispers.

The music starts and Ted and Phoebe make their way down the aisle. I quickly snap several pictures of my kids and eventually turn to Rhett.

I think this is the first time I have ever seen Rhett Earnhardt cry. He is always so strong and reserved. Maggie always tells me how much Phoebe gets him out of his shell and brings out the best in him. I smile at the thought.

"Who gives this bride to be married?" Elvis asks Ted.

He turns to me and I sigh sadly, "Her mother and I do." I am so proud of Ted for stepping up and being the man. Somebody taught him how to do that, and I wish his father could rediscover that himself. Ted takes a seat next to me and holds on to my arm gently. I place my head on his shoulder and feel at peace with my baby boy_, I am just so proud of him_. The ceremony goes by quickly and I can't almost believe it when it ends.

"I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Rhett Earnhardt," Elvis says as they kiss.

Phoebe squeals, "We are married." He laughs as he picks her up and swings her around; it is such a beautiful sight.

We disperse quickly and Rhett, Phoebe, and another Elvis impersonator sign the marriage certificate. As a surprise, a taxi cab decorated with streamers and "Just Married" signs awaits Phoebe and Rhett in the parking lot.

"Sorry baby, this is the best I could get on short notice," Rhett says taking her suitcase and her hand.

"It is perfect," she says as I snap another picture. "Well, we are going to go check into our room, I guess you all are free to explore Vegas," Phoebe says and I can hear the hidden meaning in her tone.

"Bow chicka bow wow," Ted sings loudly as Phoebe turns beat red. I smack Ted and then hug my daughter.

Maggie jumps in, "You kids go. Emerson arranged for breakfast in the morning before you head to St. Lucia so we will see you again at ten."

"Dad changed our flight location?" Rhett asks.

"Yes, he has been working on it since before we left Washington. St. Lucia is much better then Maui anyway, much prettier with better accommodations. You have a 3 PM flight and you will get an extra day."

"What a great surprise, thank you Maggie," Phoebe says as she hugs her new mother- in -law. We all exchange hugs, Ted makes more sex jokes and we are all off on our separate ways.

As the taxi pulls out, Maggie turns to me. "You ready? We can get room service and massages while we chat."

"Best offer I have heard all day…"


	6. An Old Fashioned

**A/N – Enjoy and please review and tell me what you think! Your comments have had me very pumped for this chapter! **

**Chapter 6 – An Old Fashioned**

**Ted's POV**

** I cannot believe I am bored in Las Vegas. **Emerson and I spent some time at the Casino while the girls went through a round of massages, but Emerson eventually got tired and now I am bored in my hotel room. This would be a much more entertaining weekend if I had my boys with me. _Fuck it,_ I am going to go bother my Mom. I am twenty five years old, in Vegas, and all I want to do is hang out with my Mommy.

I head to Maggie and Emerson's room and I am surprised to see the door cracked. "Where do I begin with all of this?" I hear my mother say, "I felt him pulling from me soon after his father passed away."

_Shit_, Mom is talking about Dad. I already know they are separated, but it sounds like she is getting even deeper into the situation with Maggie. I stay glued to the wall, I couldn't move even if I wanted to.

"Pulling away, how?" Maggie asks.

"He wouldn't talk to me, he wouldn't talk to anybody. That is dangerous with Christian because he is already a shitty communicator to begin with and he internalizes everything, so he became his own island, and nobody could get through to him, especially me."

"You said he has a psychiatrist? Did he talk to him?"

Mom groans, "He wouldn't even see his shrink. He was just in denial, saying he was fine and I should quit pressing the issue. But he wasn't fine. He was grieving his father's passing and he just wouldn't deal with it."

Emerson appears and my eyes grow wide, I feel like I have just been caught stealing cookies from a cookie jar. Emerson assesses the situation and nods. Emerson is my boy, he wouldn't sell me out.

"Man coming in," Emerson yells into the room. They talk briefly and Emerson pops back out with a bag.

"Em, keep the door cracked," Maggie yells to him, "The AC is broken and it is hotter than hell in here."

"Will do," he says, winking at me. I smile and listen on.

"He needs to be in control at all times and has abandonment issues, so with our last kid off to college and Carrick being the first major person in his life to pass away since his birth mother as a child, I think it all added up and overwhelmed him. On top of that, Christian needs a release..."

"Well we all do," Maggie adds.

"True, but with Christian he needs a release that helps him feel in control, helps him feel…"

"Empowered?" Maggie adds.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that…" My mom says sadly, "During this time I kept trying to get him to talk and get him to lean on me, but he kept fighting with me isntead. We were constantly quarreling and going at it about everything. It was like fighting with a brick wall. I thank God the kids were both gone, I never wanted them to hear how we spoke to each other. We have fought before, but NEVER like that…"

I feel really wrong for standing here listening to this. Getting a glimpse into my father's psyche and my parent's marriage seems wrong for some reason.

"So did that lead up too…" Maggie uncomfortably adds.

"Me finding him with another woman…. Yeah," my mom says sadly.

_Holy fuck,_ I really shouldn't be listening to this.

"How long was he with her…. Was she the only one?"

It sounds like my mom is taking a sip of something; if I were her I would be drinking straight vodka.

"He assured me that she was the only one, and I checked everything at his apartment at Escala while he was at work one day and found nothing to refute his statement," Mom adds, her tone getting more upset as she talks, "He had been with her for 10 months before I found them…"

"10 months?" Maggie gapes.

"I found out about her right as Phoebe was starting her sophomore year of college; Ted was starting his senior year at USC…"

"So what did you do?" she asks.

"I needed space away from him. I needed to think about what my next move would be. He pleaded with me to stay but I couldn't deal with him. From there, we began our seperation. We both went to see Flynn constantly and I found a new psychiatrist to see myself…."

I want to know more, but I don't think my brain can handle all of this shocking information. I thought I could handle hearing the details of my parent's separation, but I just can't right now. If my mom won't have a vodka or whiskey, I will.

As I am about to enter the bar, I get a phone call from Dad. _Holy shit_, why is that bastard calling me? I decide to pick up, morbidly curious about what he could possibly need to talk to me about.

"What?" I bark.

Dad pauses, almost shocked. "Hi son, I was just seeing how your sister's wedding went?"

"She cried because her Dad is a dipshit and wasn't there to see her get married. That help you any pops?"

"Son, don't talk to me like that, I am still your father," he groans.

"No, you used to be my father. Now you are some jackass that won't step up and take care of Mom and Phe… so I did that today. It should have been you."

His voice gets softer, "I wanted so badly to be there, but your sister left me out."

"No, you left yourself out you dick," I say as I hang up and shove my phone in my pocket. I groan to the air and head into the bar. It is pretty abandoned tonight with the exception of two other customers. I quickly send Mom a text message.

_*Mom, I want to hang out with you. This is a rare opportunity for us so I suggest you come to the bar after you are done with girl time. Let's get wasted.*_

Knowing my mom, she'll get a big kick out of the "let's get wasted" part.

"What would you like?" the bartender asks.

"The strongest shit you've got."

The guy sitting three spaces from me laughs, "Long night?"

"Long 24 hours…" I add. I take a good look at the guy and gather that he must be in his late thirties.

"His drink is on me…" he says to the bartender.

"Nah dude, I am good. Really," I say realizing I have one of my Dad's credit cards on hand.

"I insist. I have been looking for a good man to chat with all night."

"Listen man, I'm not gay." I add uncomfortably.

He laughs and I instantly realized I read this guy wrong, "I am not gay." I feel like a dumbass, the only evidence to this man being gay is his well kempt appearance. The only part of him unkempt is his hair, which looks like my Dad's when he gets stressed.

"Sorry dude…" I say reaching out my hand, "I'm Ted."

"Alex," he replies shaking my hand, "So what brings you here this evening?"

"Well, my sister eloped and now I am just hanging out for a couple days…"

"That's nice. My brother got married too… small world," he says turning to the bartender, "Make my friend Ted here an old fashioned."

"An old fashioned?"

"That's what men drink Ted," he adds with a smirk as he runs his hands through his blonde hair. A ding on my phone signals a reply from my mother.

_*Get wasted at 1 in the morning? Sounds like something your old fart of a mother would do…. I need ten more minutes with Maggie & then I will be right down*_

"Girlfriend?" he asks, pointing to my text.

I laugh, "No, that's my mom."

He laughs, "Looks like we are both doing a bad job of reading each other."

"I guess," I say with a chuckle, "No, she'll probably be joining us shortly. She has had a shit couple of days courtesy of my douchebag father."

He nods, "She's not the only one…"

"Rough couple of days for you too Alex?"

"Yeah, it just sucks to see your youngest brother get married when your own love life is shit," he says with regret in his eyes.

"Girls love guys who are metro," I say and he laughs.

"Damn, looks like the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree," he says and we laugh again.

"My Dad always taught me to shoot straight and call it how I see it," I say softly. Some example of a father I have now.

"Well, since your old man sucks, how about I give you some advice?"

The bartender hands me my Old Fashioned and I take a sip. "Damn, that's good."

"You are welcome. Ok that was advice number 1 – an old fashioned is the drink of real men. Advice number 2 – never date a woman with kids."

I look at him speculatively, "That is a really random piece of advice."

"Just take it. I am 37, you are… how old?"

"25"

"Yeah, You'll thank me one day when you think you are head over heels in love with a woman and she goes back to the father of her kids, because you can't fucking compete with that bastard. He trumps you in every way."

"Does this come from personal experience Alex?"

He nods as he takes another swig of his old fashioned. "Sorry to spill all of that on you."

"Nah man, I get it. Bars at 1 AM are like going to see the shrink." He snorts and takes another sip.

Suddenly his eyes go wide and he sets down his drink. "Ana?"

I whip around to find my mom, with a look matching Alex's staring back at him. "Alex? What are you doing here?"

He suddenly gets very nervous. I need to interject, but the way they are reacting to each other shocks me on a level I cannot describe.

"Just hanging out with my buddy Ted here…"

"You mean my son."

I see him visibly swallow and he shakes his head in disbelief. "Of course you are Ted. I feel like a dumbass," he says turning to me like he knows me, "So I am assuming the wedding you were talking about was Phoebe's."

_How does he know all of this shit? How does this fucker know my mom, me and my sister? _I nod, turning back to my mom. "How do you two know each other?"

My mom nervously takes a seat. "Vodka tonic," my mom says to the bartender.

"Mom," I press.

"Alex was my psychiatrist for a brief time…" she says. _What the hell?_ This isn't making any sense.

"There is more," I press further, switching my gazes between my mother and Alex.

"We dated for a brief time…" Alex cuts in, turning his gaze to my mother, "Too brief."

Alex's words from earlier re-enter my mind,_ "You'll thank me one day when you think you are head over heels in love with a woman and she goes back to the father of her kids, because you can't fucking compete with that bastard. He trumps you in every way."_

_Shit. _They dated, and from how they are reacting to each other it wasn't just a "hey lets go get coffee" kind of dating. I need more information. Mom has to give me more information.

"Hey Mom, can we talk outside the bar?"

"I can leave…" Alex adds, with a surprising amount of bitterness in his voice.

"No, don't leave," Mom replies. I am surprised by how desperate she sounds. "Stay Alex, Ted and I will talk and we'll be back in a minute."

We walk to the lobby and I begin. "So I assume that you two were involved?"

"Yes, we were," she replies.

"Mom he told me that his love life was shit and that I should never date a woman with kids because they will always go back to the father of their children, is that about you?" I think I know the answer, but I want to hear her say it. I want to see the feeling behind her answers.

She sighs like she is in pain. "Yes," she says with her voice small. They have a history.

I suddenly feel very tired, way too tired from all that has happened these past 24 hours. I decide I should go to bed but I am nervous about leaving my mom with this guy.

"Will you be ok if I go to bed?"

She stares at me, trying to analyze my expression. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I should probably talk to him."

I take a look over at Mommy's boyfriend and I decide that he isn't a serial killer. My mom is old enough to handle herself.

"Ok Mom, I am going to bed. Tell Alex thank you for the Old Fashioned," I add, giving her a hug.

"I will," she says, her voice still very small.

"And remember, if you sleep with him, you will have slept with everyone he has slept with."

She smacks me, "Go to bed Theodore before I ground you…"


	7. Too Late

**A/N – Again, this will be an informative chapter but there will still be some pieces to the puzzle that are still missing! Enjoy and please review!**

**I listened to "Outra" by M83 while writing this. I think it adds to this chapter, especially towards the end. **

**Chapter 7 – Too Late**

**Christian's POV**

**It is feels good to be at the house after a long uncomfortable car ride with Mia, my mother, and Elliot. **I am also strangely relived that my mother is the only one who knows the real reason for the wedding's cancelation. She was livid and she yelled at me like I have never heard her yell, but it is over now and we are going home.

I decide to stay proactive throughout all of this. Focus on my goals and the future and not things I cannot change. Dr. Flynn and I have been speaking about how I always internalize my feelings and how I become closed off and he said this method of coping could help.

I have two very simple missions, make my relationships right with Phoebe and Ted and make sure Ana and I's reconciliation continues. Before all of this shit happened at the wedding, I basically pleaded with Ana to take me back. I broke my relationship, if you could call it that, off with Sasha. I also pleaded with Ana to break things off with the man she had been seeing, Alex.

I knew I couldn't convince her to stop seeing Alex without proof that I was changing. I put Escala up on the market and promised that if she took me back, I would never give us a reason to live apart like that. It is ridiculous that I still had it available in the first place. I don't ever want to be apart from Ana. There is no reason for it.

I also dragged Flynn out from retirement. He retired soon after Ana called for a permanent separation but I brought him back in order to convince her that I was talking. That I wasn't sitting in his office, staring at the wall, but I was communicating and changing.

I even changed my phone number. I don't think I have ever changed my cell phone number. Emily and Sasha both were calling me non-stop so I had to find a way to get rid of them. Emily was the hardest to break free from; we had unfortunately created a bond. When Ana discovered us, Emily had suddenly felt irrelevant, extra baggage. What we thought could possibly be love was just boredom with life. Emily has yet to discover this realization for herself, but I bet she will one day.

My relationship with Sasha was just about sex and a need to feel wanted by a younger woman. Ana's relationship with Alex had become stronger and I couldn't bear to deal with the repercussions of what I had caused. I caused her to run into the arms of another man. So when I found Sasha on a date with a dopey 26 year old at my club one evening, I knew I had found my latest distraction. I had to keep my mind off the fact that my wife might be a lost cause.

I shake my head of the memories, I need to stop this. I have a job to do, and it is to get my family back. I spend hours this evening trying to reach Ana, but she won't pick up. I realize that she is probably too busy with the Vegas wedding to deal with me, I can respect that. Ted's phone is off so I don't leave any messages. I don't bother with Phoebe, this is her day and I have already fucked it up already. It is midnight when I finally reach Ana.

"Hi…" she says softly.

"Hi. How was the wedding?"

"Good, our daughter is a married woman."

I smirk, "I can't believe our daughter is all grown up."

"I know," she says clipped.

I need to get to what I called her about. "So when you get back to Seattle, we are going with everything as planned. We are going to continue with the reconciliation, right?"

She pauses, _oh shit._ "Christian, I have to go. I am talking to Maggie right now."

"Ana, just answer the question."

"We can talk about this later. Sawyer took pictures of the wedding so I'll make sure he sends them to you."

"Yes, that would be great. Thank you." We both go silent, waiting for the other to say anything else.

When we eventually hang up, I grab another drink. Ana has gone through a lot during the past 24 hours; she probably didn't have time to think about the reconciliation. Ana was completely focused on Phoebe, as she should be. Moments later, Sawyer sends me pictures from the wedding to my email. Pictures of my daughter in her dress, walking with Ted down the aisle and Phoebe in Rhett's arms fills my screen. I have to hold back tears as I scan through the pictures. My baby is grown up, I can't believe it.

I decide to try Ted one last time. "What?" he barks at me.

I am surprised that he actually picked up, "Hi son, I was just seeing how your sister's wedding went?" I can't think of anything better to say.

"She cried because her Dad is a dipshit and wasn't there to see her get married. That help you any pops?" He has his mother's 'ball busting' sarcasm.

"Son, don't talk to me like that, I am still your father," I admonish him.

"No, you used to be my father. Now you are some jackass that won't step up and take care of Mom and Phe… so I did that today. It should have been you." Of course that is why he is so mad at me, he is standing up to protect him Mom and sister. I taught him well.

"I wanted so badly to be there, but your sister left me out."

"No, you left yourself out you dick," he barks at me as he hangs up. _Well, that went well._

I need a distraction. I take a look over at the boxes that have returned from Escala. I begin to rummage and I find a box with contracts from old subs. The box next to it contains background checks. My eyes instantly go to Emily's background check. I pull it out and look through it. I needed to give her up, right? I remember Ana's words after she found us: _"You have made your choice, this is what you want and I am going to let you have her. I am done_." The level of feeling I had for Emily surprised me, but it was never deep enough.

I shift my feet and suddenly a folder falls from the box and smacks my foot. I pick it up and smile when I see its contents. I shift through Ana's background check and I feel reassured. This is my mission and I must fix things with my wife, it is imperative. Emily is the past and a brief lapse in judgment. Suddenly, an idea comes to me.

"Taylor I yell, I need your help."

**As I dump the last box of contracts into the fire, I feel free. **This fresh start feels very real now; these pages are gone from my records. They are no longer allowed to haunt me because I burnt them all, burnt them to the ground. Ana's information stays in my arms, these aren't going anywhere. I can't let her go again. I cannot be that thoughtless again.

I should call Ana. Now that these contents are gone from my life, I want to hear my wife's voice. I hope 2 AM isn't too late to call her, I pray that she is still up.

"Hi," she says shocked, "I thought I'd told you we'd talk later."

"I need to see you when you return to Seattle, please tell me you'll see me," I say, the words dripping from my mouth, "I can fix this. We can fix this." As the fire crackles, I hear another voice on the other end. A voice I remember all too well. My heart stops and fire burns through my veins. "What is he doing there Ana? I thought you broke things off…" I yell.

"Don't freak out, I didn't invite him, we just found each other," she explains. I sink to the ground. He is going to stop her from seeing me, I just know it. He loves her, and I don't blame the bastard. He is going to stop her from wanting to fix us, _just like last time._ _You eventually got her to return, remember that._

"Ana, you have to promise me that you will talk to me when you get back to Seattle. Baby, please."

"Christian of course," she replies.

"Ana, get off the phone with him," I hear him say to her.

"NO," I yell.

"I have to go," she says curtly. She hangs up and I scream. I realize I am in the submissive stance, screaming into my phone.

He is going to keep her from me. _I just know it. _


	8. Room 301

**A/N – There is a flashback in this chapter, so don't get confused when you see it! Review and let me know what you think. This chapter was kind of hard to write for me, so I want to see what you guys think. I love your responses so far, I typically respond to reviews if they are pointed questions. If I feel like I can answer your questions in my writing that is how I usually go.**

**Thanks again and try to enjoy! lol**

**Chapter 8 – Room 301 **

**Ana's POV**

"Am I being left alone with Mommy?" Alex says with a smirk when I return without Ted.

"Yes, you are." I say taking a seat next to him.

"Ted is exactly how I pictured him Ana, he has got your sass…" he adds.

"I am not sassy," I fire back.

"Sure, whatever you say," he smirks. His face immediately darkens, "I have really missed you. How are you?"

Geez, where do I even start with him? "My daughter got married, I feel old; I look old."

He rolls his eyes, "I keep telling you that you don't look old. I could have sworn you were 35 when I first met you."

I have to laugh at him, "I was 45 when we met, so are you saying 45 is the new 35?"

He nods his head back in forth, "On other women, probably not. On you, yes."

"You are just being nice," I shake my head at him.

He groans at me, obviously frustrated, "God, haven't you put together yet that your husband is delusional if he ever thought straying from you was a good idea. You are so fucking sexy and you don't even know it. Guys would kill for a wife that looked like you…"

"Are you speaking from personal experience Mr. West?"

"Yes Miss Steele," he says, emphasizing my maiden name, "I am. Speaking of which, Ted unveiled some interesting information that I would like for you to elaborate on."

God only knows what Ted told him. "What would that be?"

"He said that you have had a rough couple of days due to Christian being an asshole. What did he mean by that?" Alex asks. I can tell he is bracing himself for whatever answer I have.

"Well, remember when we were together and I learned that Christian was seeing a much younger woman?"

He nods.

"Phoebe found out that the younger woman was her best friend and maid of honor," I say as his eyes go wide, "So when she found out, she cussed Christian out and arranged to get married here in Vegas, sans Christian and her slutty friend."

Alex's expression is murderous. "Good for Phoebe," is all Alex can manage to get out.

I stare him down, "You have more that you want to say, just say it Alex."

He closes his eyes, "Well you see - I am trying to draw a logical explanation for how I am feeling right now that doesn't feel influenced by alcohol."

"What do you have so far?"

"Basically," he says, opening his eyes, "I want to throttle that son of a bitch."

"Throttle?"

His voice gets softer, "From day one, I have done nothing but love you and try to support you because that's what you deserve. That son of a bitch cheats on you, leaving you a puddle of nothing. Then convinces you to come back to him and that he has changed, yet he fucked your daughter's best friend. Do you see why I am so angry right now?"

"But he is making a much better effort this time to change…,"

"Fuck Ana," he groans, "Please tell me that you aren't actually considering going through with staying with him."

That is the question that has been going through my mind since I found out about Sasha. Do I even want to make this work? Can I get over the fact that he wounded my daughter so deeply? Can I get over the fact that he wounded me so deeply?

I am distracted by my cell phone. "It's Christian," I announce.

"Do not pick it up Ana," he warns.

I shake my head at him and pick it up, "Hi, I thought I told you we'd talk later."

"I need to see you when you return to Seattle, please tell me you'll see me," he says, sounding so desperate, "I can fix this. We can fix this."

"Get off the phone with that bastard Ana," Alex groans.

I hear Christian pause, "What is _he_ doing there Ana? I thought you told me you broke it off?"

It is a really awful feeling to have two men on each end of a conversation who hate each other with a passion.

"Don't freak out, I didn't invite him, we just found each other," I say, trying to placate him.

"Ana, you have to promise me that you will talk to me when you get back to Seattle. Baby, please," he sounds so lost and desperate. It tugs at my heart.

"Christian, of course."

Alex is getting irritated, "Ana, get off the phone with him."

"No!" Christian screams.

"I have to go," I say, not sure how much longer I can stay unaffected by his desperate tone. I place my phone on the bar and I look at Alex.

"I just hate that I want you, yet he gets you after all the shit he has done to you. I had to sit and watch you go through misery over that man and yet he still gets you."

I don't know what to tell him. He is right, it isn't fair to him. "Well maybe we should just cut all contact."

He looks at me bemused, "That won't help." We stay quiet for a while longer.

I smile at Ted's glass still on the bar counter. "Of course you would teach my son to drink old fashioneds."

"I would be shit at teaching him how to throw a ball, but I can teach him how to drink," he says with a smirk, "I don't think I was ever meant to have young kids, broke my first wife's heart."

"Why are we talking about Ashley right now?"

He shakes his head, "Distraction technique."

After a moment, I decide nothing can be done tonight. "I need to go to bed."

"Come to bed with me," he says softly.

My mouth drops, "Have you lost it?"

"Have you lost it," he fires back, "Please Ana, don't go back to him. Come to bed with me, I need you."

"I need to go to my own bed."

"No you need to come to my bed," he says, "Just consider us again Ana. Please. He can't offer you what I can offer you, not anymore. If you change your mind, I am in room 301."

His words fill my brain as I walk to the elevator. I feel hollow, I feel like there is nothing left of me after these past couple days. Suddenly, my brains swerves into memories that I don't want to remember. I remember the night that changed everything, the night Jason Taylor did the bravest thing anyone has ever done for me.

**As I hang up the phone with Phoebe, I turn to Gail. **"Is Christian not home from work yet? He should be home by now."

Suddenly, Taylor appears. Why is Taylor here? I thought he was supposed to be with Christian at all times?

"Mrs. Grey, let's take a drive," he says softly.

"Taylor, what are you talking about? Where is Christian?"

"Come on Mrs. Grey, let's go." he says softly as he walks toward the front door. Confused, I follow Taylor outside.

I keep trying to ask Taylor questions during our drive, but he won't talk to me. _I am sick of men not talking to me._ I am taken back whenhe pulls into the Escala parking garage and parks in the first space.

"Why are we here?" I ask Taylor, willing him to talk to me.

"Mrs. Grey, just go on up. I'll be waiting after you are done."

"Taylor," I groan getting frustrated, "This is the most agitating car ride ever. Please talk to me."

"Mrs. Grey, please. I can't tell you, just go on up."

Mad, I storm out of the car and head for the elevator. After the elevator trip, I enter the great room and walk through the apartment. I investigate everything, trying to understand why Taylor brought me here.

Then, my heart stops. I hear something I am not supposed to hear, soft moans coming from my bedroom. Christian is in our bedroom with someone, the same bedroom where I lost my virginity to my husband and the same bedroom where we conceived our son. I stand, glued to my spot as small tears fall down my face. The moans are getting louder and I hear both voices unite in heartbreaking passion.

Who is she? How could he do this to me? It would be one thing if he took her to the Red Room of Pain, but they are in my bed. They are in my fucking bed. Sadness turns to anger as I will myself to walk to the kitchen.

I am not leaving; this is my fucking apartment too. I pour myself a glass of orange juice and wait. The moans continue and each one pounds the whole deeper in my heart. Finally they stop and I brace myself. I hear giggling and I see a young brunette appear in my living room. She must be in her early thirties and she is wearing one his shirts. I can see her body, a body that is much younger and sexier than mine.

"Who are you?" she gasps.

I laugh, "Who the fuck are you?"

Her eyes go wide as she runs back into my bedroom. I hear her yell, "Christian, there is somebody in your apartment." For the love of God,.

Suddenly Christian enters and his eyes go wide when he sees me. I hear her footsteps creep up behind him. "Emily, stay in the bedroom please."

"I think my robes are still in there Emily, enjoy them while you also enjoy fucking my husband."

I get up from my stool and he follows me. "Please Ana, I am sorry. Talk to me."

I turn to him, my look murderous, "You have got to be fucking kidding me? I have been trying to get you to talk to me for months! And don't bother apologizing. You are only apologizing because I caught you…"

"This shit with my dad, it has just been tough. I just needed…" he rambles incoherently.

"A 30 year old to fuck in our bedroom?"

"No Ana, God, I can't get my words out. We need to see Flynn or somebody, I just haven't felt like myself…"

"I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOU TO TALK TO FUCKING FLYNN FOR MONTHS," I fume, holding back tears, "How long?

"How long what?"

"How long have you been seeing her… are there more? You back in the sub business Grey."

"God no Ana, she is the only one."

"How long?"

He sighs, visibly in pain. _Well so am I, buddy._ "Since after thanksgiving."

"TEN MONTHS," I hiss. I shake my head in disgust, "Well you'll have plenty of time to get your words together because you are sleeping here forever."

He runs his hands through his hair, "Baby, please don't do this. We can work this out. I don't want you to leave me; you said you would never leave me."

I push the elevator call button, "I never thought you'd break my heart this bad. I am not going to sit here while you go to other women for comfort and not me, while you break every promise you made to me. I am not going to be second place while you go through some midlife crisis. You have made your choice, this is what you want and I am going to let you have her. I am done."

He shakes his head in frustration. He obviously doesn't know what to do. He seems to be looking for divine intervention or something. I step into the elevator, not looking him in the eye.

"Goodbye Christian, I hope she is worth it," I say as the elevator door closes. When he is out of sight, I fall backwards and begin to sob. I curl up on the floor and cry. I can't do anything else. I can't think, I can't feel. All I feel is pain, uncontrollable pain.

I realize suddenly that I am in Taylor's arms. He carefully carries me to the SUV as I cry into his neck.

"I am sorry Mrs. Grey. I should have done something sooner. He just put me in a terrible position."

"No, thank you," I say, my voice sounding very tiny. That is what he has reduced me to, the old tiny mousy woman that I always believed I was.

**I shake my head, trying to rid my brain of the memory. **My heart calms down as I head toward my hotel room alone. My heart doesn't want to be here, it wants to be in room 301 with Alex. I can't remember the good times with Christian right now. All I can remember is the pain and how Alex relieved me of that pain. He was there for me in a way nobody else could be. I want him. I want to be in his bed again. I want to see the passion in his eyes when I have made him come, to feel his body on mine. I head back for the elevators, on my way to room 301.


	9. Alex

**A/N – Ok, I think this is all I can do for the weekend. If another chapter pops up today, be very surprised and honored lol. Thank you for all your comments; I have never received such loquacious comments on a story before so I am shocked and pleased by what you have given me! I have tried to respond to you if I could answer your questions, but did not respond if your answers will come later in the story. Thank you for ALL your responses! I cannot express how much every review means to me! I did map out where this story is going last night– I think you will either love it or hate it, but I personally am pleased with it. Enjoy this new chapter!**

**Also – the first four sections are flash back. The last two are back to present day. I labeled so hopefully it isn't too confusing. **

**Chapter 9 – Alex **

**Ana's POV**

**3 Years Earlier**

** "Hi, my name is Ana Grey, and I am supposed to be meeting with one of your psychiatrists at 4:00 PM today, but I was never given a name of who I am supposed to meet with," I say nervously to the receptionist. **

"Yes, Mrs. Grey, I remember your name from John Flynn. I will go look that up, please take a seat and I'll let you know soon," the receptionist says, rummaging through her files.

I take a seat in the empty waiting room and start fiddling with my hands. I am very nervous. I have only ever worked with John, so meeting with somebody new today is nerve wracking.

Christian and I have been through months of therapy with Dr. Flynn. We have seen him separately and together while we have been working through our problems. I don't feel like any of it is helping. I think Christian is just saying what I want to hear to get me back. I am not sure if I believe what he is telling me or if even he believes what he is telling me.

One day after my individual sessions, Dr. Flynn decided I should go see another psychiatrist. Since I have been having issues with rejection as of late, Flynn explained his reasoning behind it, "_I have been so close to Christian and his issues for some time. You have only met with me because of him. I think you need a chance to experience someone different, gain a new outlook on the situation. I think that could be good for you. Of course, I hate to lose you in individual sessions, but I think seeing someone different could really benefit you." _Christian didn't like the idea of me changing shrinks, but neither Flynn nor I gave him a choice in the matter.

I have decided to trust Flynn's judgment, even if it is scary. Trust has been my biggest struggle since I found out Christian was cheating on me. Trust was something we built from our numerous trips to the "Red Room of Pain". Trust was something he obliterated over 10 months.

"It looks like Dr. Flynn has recommended Dr. West for you, Mrs. Grey," the receptionist announces, "He is with another patient right now, but he will see you shortly." I nod and smile. I like the idea of seeing a male psychiatrist, I feel like a woman would be judgmental.

Suddenly, a door flies open and laughter bellows through the waiting room. "Alright Alex, see you later man," a tall thin, Hispanic gentleman says happily.

"Gary, I'll see you next week," a new voice says. A tall blonde male with sparkling blue eyes suddenly appears and I can't keep my eyes off him. He has striking features and a gorgeous smile. _Oh dear God, I hope this isn't Dr. West._ How would I be able to sit through a session with that beautiful specimen of a man?

"Dr. West, this is Anastasia Grey, she is your next client," says the receptionist. _Shit, shit, shit._

"Anastasia, it is so nice to meet you, I am Alexander West." he says, offering his hand. His eyes are very blue and they are making it hard for me to breathe.

"Hi…. um hi Dr. West, it's ummm nice to meet you, you can call me Ana," I say nervously. _Settle down Anastasia._

He smirks, "Well you can call me Alex. I hate being called Dr. West, I sound like my father. Please, let's have a chat, shall we?" I follow him into his office and I find the receptionist grinning at me.

We both take a seat and I begin to calm down. Sitting in Alex's office is calming. I sit in his comfortable leather sofa as he takes a seat in a matching black arm chair across from me.

"So Ana," he says, chewing on his pen with his chiseled mouth, "What are you in here for?"

I laugh, "Where do I even start?"

"Well John passed along some information to me. He told me that you and your husband were experiencing marital issues," he says hoping it will prompt me.

"I think that is an understatement Dr. West."

"Please, I really do hate being called Dr. West."

"Sorry," I say correcting my statement, "That is an understatement, _Alex._ I found him with another woman."

His eyes look on me with confusion, "Dr. Flynn did not mention that. That must have been very scarring for you." His gentleness floors me.

"Yeah it was," I say, trying to hold all emotion in.

"Was it something you were blindsided by?" he asks and I groan. This is something I have been dwelling on since the moment I discovered Emily. He smirks sadly, "I have a feeling you have been thinking about this a lot."

"Yes, I have," I say, my voice small. "We were already having problems. He was also just so good at picking up his tracks. I think he would see her a lot during the day because I would call his office and a lot of times, they would say he was out. Then he started having lots of evening meetings…"

"Ok," Alex interrupts, "I think I want to move off this topic because I don't think it is healthy to dwell on, I think you have been doing it enough as it is. I want to know something, how have you been taking care of yourself since you found out about this other woman?"

I look at him bemused, "What do you mean?"

He smiles and my heart skips a beat. "Ok, looks like I need to give you some homework before you leave today."

"Homework? I just got here."

"Yes homework," he smirks, "I was told that you have two kids."

"Yes, A girl and a boy." _Where is he going with this?_

"How old are they?" he asks softly, and I melt once more.

"My daughter is a sophomore at U Dub and my son is a senior at USC…"

"West coast schools, blah," he says and I laugh, "I went to NYU… anyway, so you are used to taking care of people and staying strong for others. I mean, that's what mothers do."

"I guess you are right…"

"Your homework assignment is to do something for you. Go to the movies, get a haircut, maybe take a new job on at work, get a tattoo, I don't know. Just do something that you want to do. Don't think of anybody else, I am giving you permission to be completely selfish."

"Ok…" I say. This might be the strangest counseling session I have ever been to. This guy is all over the place.

"And I also want to give you permission to explore your feelings, don't hold them back," he adds and I nod, "I am so sorry, this is not how I wanted to conduct our first session. We started with the heavy stuff and I usually try to start small with brand new patients."

We spend the rest of our session talking about my family, my job, my kids, and my relationship with Christian. I realize that I love talking to him. We get off on these tangents and I don't mind because I feel so peaceful with him. I instantly feel sad when our time is up. When I walk out of his office, I feel myself smile for the first time in weeks.

**Christian and I have spent three more weeks in counseling. **I still won't let him back in the house, but we have seen each other a lot. We have talked more now than we have all year. We have established a "temporary separation agreement." This is a contract we have established with our lawyers that allows us to live separate lives and see other people. Since we have been in counseling nonstop, I don't think either of us would have had any time for that anyway. Christian is hopeful that we can get it terminated soon and he can move back in.

As I begin my third week of sessions with Alex, I am blindsided by the receptionist.

"Mrs. Grey, I apologize but Dr. West has requested to be taken off your case. You will be seeing Dr. Henderson now," she says, pointing to the pretty blonde lady in the corner.

I can feel my face visibly fall. "What does that mean?" I ask as tears begin to prick at my eyes.

"Sometimes that happens, sometimes they get overloaded with work and need to alleviate the stress, but Dr. Henderson is fantastic."

I don't want fucking Dr. Henderson. "Is Dr. West in his office?"

"Yes… but he is with a client," the receptionist yells after me as I storm to his office. Alex and his patient stare up at me in shock.

"Why did you drop me?" I say and I suddenly realize I am crying, "Am I not good enough? Are there better clients you need to see?"

Alex turns to his patient, "Alan, I apologize. I really need to speak with Ana."

Alan is obviously afraid of my presence because he scurries out of Alex's office without meeting my eye line. Alex shuts the door and lowers me gently onto his sofa.

"Ana, I am so sorry. I am so stupid. I should have given you an explanation." He grabs a tissue and wipes my face for me. I feel a surge of heat flow through my spine. "How about we meet tonight and I can explain things to you?"

"What?" I gasp.

He sighs, "Ana, please just meet with me. How about I take you to La Rove tonight for dinner and we can discuss it…"

I am in shock, "Are you asking me out?"

"If you mean a friend asking another friend to dinner, then yes," he says like he has rehearsed it. I am surprised by how much I hate being referred to as his friend.

"Ok, dinner tonight," I say, still trying to absorb all of this. _I am going on a date? I haven't been on a date in years._

"And please go see Dr. Henderson; she'll be a good outlet for what you are going through. She's been through it herself," he adds.

"Women are judgey," I say, wrinkling my nose.

"This stays between you and me, but if you ever feel like she is judging you remember that she is seeing her 19 year old lawn boy," he whispers.

"Really?" I gasp.

He smiles at me and my heart skips another beat.

**Before Sawyer even has time to ask, I fly out of my house and take the Saab on my date tonight. ** "_Ana", my subconscious snarls at me, "This isn't a date. He is 34, he is not interested in an old spinster like you. He is just going to explain why he had to drop you." _Then why would he be asking me to go to an exclusive restaurant to tell me? He couldn't explain his reasoning at the office, so it must be good.

I smile as I cover my left leg; my indecently high slit is already causing me problems as I drive. I am wearing a dress Christian told me never to wear outside because it was too sexy for the general public. _"Oh honey," my subconscious adds to the dog pile, "You really think you are pulling that off? You are 45, save the sexy outfits for Christian's mistress."_

I hand my car over to valet parking and I am pretty sure they are all drooling over my Saab. Christian gave it to me for my 40th birthday, so it is a bit older, but it is still very swoon worthy.

As I walk in, the hostess escorts me to Alex's table in the back. When Alex sees me, his eyes go wide. It feels really good to prove my bitch subconscious wrong. Alex looks beautiful himself in a dark suit, his blonde hair short, but sexy.

"Ana," he says when he gets up to kiss my cheek, "You look incredible." I feel a powerful feeling flow through my veins. Is it lust, comfort, or happiness? I am not quite sure.

I take a seat as our appetizers make their way to our table. A few minutes later, two medium sized margaritas also make an appearance.

"Margaritas?" I ask in shock.

"Yeah, sorry this is a Mexican restaurant and they have the best margaritas in Seattle so of course you should try them," he says, scooting mine to me.

"I am not much for Tequila."

"Nobody really likes Tequila, but they drink it anyway. Drink. If you don't like it I'll get you something else," he insists.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" I ask and he laughs.

"Only if you want to," he adds softly.

"I think we should move on to why I am here with you right now, because it has been bothering me all day," I counter back.

"Fair enough," he adds, taking a swig of his margarita. He suddenly looks very nervous and I swear I can see his palms sweating. _That's just the condensation from his glass. _"Just remember you are free to leave any time, don't think you have to stay here after I tell you this," he adds nervously.

"Ok…" I say gently. God, he is nervous.

"I had to drop you Mrs. Grey because…" he says taking another sip of his margarita and then scanning the restaurant, "because I have developed feelings for you. Very unprofessional feelings."

I smack my subconscious in the face. She was wrong, I was right. The feeling makes me feel empowered and sexy. "_Unprofessional feelings is vague, that could mean anything", she cackles at me. _She has a point.

"Elaborate on what you mean by unprofessional feelings."

"Well," he says, "We have been working on trying to save your marriage. It would be hard for me to help you with that when I can think of a 100 ways on how I'd like to wreck it."

My heart stops and the muscles in my stomach clench in that delicious way. He wants me? This beautiful 34 year old blonde God wants me, and I can't deny that I want him too.

"So…" he adds, "If you are up for it, I would like to progress in a romantic relationship with you."

"I thought you didn't like being so formal…"

"Well, since always seem to make me tongue tied, which is a new feeling for me, the formality helps me get my points across. So what do you say Ana?"

**He insists on bringing me back home himself. **I can get my Saab later; I want to spend more time with Alex.I have already warned him that there is zero chance of him coming in tonight.

"I am a gentleman Anastasia," he says with his sexy smirk. I can't help but smile as he walks me to my door, my hand in his. I don't feel 45 right now, I feel about 16 years old. "Ok well, I need to go. Have a good night Anastasia."

"You too Alexander…"

He laughs, "I hate when people call me Alexander. It makes me feel Russian."

"I don't like when people call me Anastasia. It makes ME feel Russian." As I laugh, he makes his move. He swoops down for a kiss and it takes my breath away. I wrap my arms around his neck and he moves me closer.

When he backs away, he takes in a deep breath. "Till next time Ana."

I watch him walk off and I lean against the door, sighing like a girl in love.

"You know what you two are doing is very unethical," I hear a cold voice from the side of the front porch.

"Christian," I jump fifty feet in the air, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Sawyer told me that you escaped him tonight so he followed you and found out some information about your mystery date. He is your shrink, which is so unethical I am almost tempted to tell Flynn."

I fish for my keys, mad that he has ruined my good mood. "He dropped me as a client."

He groans as I open the door. "God Ana, I thought we were trying to work this out. We have put so much work into this over the past month. Why are you doing this?"

"Let me ask you something Christian," I say, ignoring his statement, "If I hadn't caught you, would you have ever told me."

He stays quiet. "No," he says.

"Wow honesty," I scoff, "Maybe this is working."

"No because I got complacent. I started feeling like you would always be there. The stakes never felt that high before," he adds. I am floored by how honest he is being with me, how open.

"Are you still speaking to her?" I ask something that has been on my chest for weeks.

"No, I cut if off."

I put my head in my hands and I run my hands through my air. "I don't think our tactic is working Christian. Overloading ourselves with counseling just feels empty."

"How do you suggest we go about this then?" he snaps, his anger pisses me off. He still doesn't get it. He wants a magic cure all pill and I don't think there is one.

"From the moment I found out about her, we have been going nonstop, forcing ways to fix this."

"They haven't been forced," he groans.

"I am tired. So tired Christian, I need space," I say looking up at him.

His eyes widen slowly. "No," he says softly.

"I want a divorce."

"No," he says louder.

"Yes," I bark back, "Don't you understand, the moment I found out about you and her, I have been a shell of a human being. I can't think, I can't breathe, I need to figure out who I am again."

"You think your shrink is going to help you with that? He is a boy, he isn't a man." he adds bitterly.

"That man has made me feel sexier and more desired than I have felt in years," I smack back.

I see tears prick at his eyes, "I think a divorce is too hasty. Let's just make the separation agreement a permanent separation agreement. You can live here, I'll stay at Escala. It will be just as normal but we are free to live separate lives."

"God, this isn't about the money is it?"

"No Ana, it is not about the money. I really don't give a shit if you take my fucking money." I don't believe him, but I also think a part of him wants to buy time. He wants to see how long I'll let this go. Right now, as exhausted as I am, this will have to be enough.

"Ok," I say as he visibly relaxes, "And we don't mention anything to the kids. I don't want them knowing anything until we have figured something out."

"Ok," he says, "I can live with that."

**Present Day**

** As I find my release, tears begin to flow down my face. **Once Alex finds his release, he lowers me down and pulls out of me. As I cry, he reins kisses on my neck and my face. He eventually pulls me close him and I feel enveloped in his heat.

"I love you so much," he says hoarsely into my neck. I breathe deeply and I feel content once again.

**The morning light wakes me as it streams through Alex's room. **I turn to look at the beautiful creature that has his arm wrapped around me.He looks so peaceful. I still don't understand how I managed to get two Greek Gods to fall in love with me in my lifetime. I must be magic.

Alex stirs and smiles down at me, "Hi."

"Hi yourself," I say, running my hand over his chiseled abs, "Do you have a clock in here? I need to meet my kids for breakfast."

He turns to his bed side table, "It is…. 10:15."

_Shit. I was supposed to meet them at 10:00! _"Alex!" I whine.

"What is it?"

"I was supposed to meet my kids 15 minutes ago," I yell, looking for my clothes, "God, I'll need to change. Ted knows I wore this to the bar last night."

"One of your dresses is in the closet."

I pause, "Why?"

"Because I am a cross dresser," he jokes, "I was leaving my apartment to come here and I found your dress still hanging next to my suits. My maid is about your size and I am suspicious that she is stealing from me so I brought it with me, just in case. It is your favorite dress. It is the turquoise one you wore to meet my brother."

"That story is too suspicious West…"

"Believe what you want Steele…" he says as I quickly change into my turquoise dress and kiss Alex goodbye.

I walk downstairs to the hotel restaurant to only find Rhett, Phoebe, and Ted at breakfast. I beat Maggie and Emerson, thank the Lord.

"Mom!" Phoebe beams as we hug.

"Sorry I am late guys," I say as I take a seat next to my daughter and across from my son. I note that Ted is eyeing my suspiciously. "I overslept. Where are Maggie and Emerson?"

"Probably boning," Rhett adds

Phoebe and I both gasp. "Rhett, don't be rude," Phoebe admonishes.

"You need to learn something about your in laws baby," Rhett says to Phoebe, "Whenever they are late for something, it is probably because they are having sex."

"Rhett," Phoebe says embarrassed.

"What did you do after I left the bar last night, Mom," Ted asks, still eyeing me suspiciously.

"Why are you looking at me like that," I ask as I feel blush fill my face.

"Oh my god," Ted gasps, "You had sex with him!"

"Theodore Raymond Grey."

"Mom," Phoebe gasps, "You had sex?"

"Damn it," Ted groans, "How am I the only person on this trip who didn't get laid?"

"Mom, is Ted right?" Phoebe asks as if my answer may kill her.

I place my head in my hands, wanting the floor to swallow me whole._ How am I going to explain this to my daughter?_


	10. Karma

**A/N – Alright people, you convinced me. This is my LAST chapter till next weekend but now I really need to get ready for work tomorrow – Girl has got to make a living and this unfortunately only pays in artistic satisfaction.**

**Based off your comments, I am slightly terrified for this chapter. Christian is making some terrible decisions, but I hope you guys look for the good… because it is still with him; it is just hard for him to tap into right now. If we are honest with ourselves, we all go through that. Anyway, I am done. As always, thank you for the comments and I hope you enjoy!**

**This entire chapter is a flashback!**

**Chapter 10 – Karma**

**Christian's POV**

** I feel like I am living under a magic spell during the holidays. **When the kids come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, everything seems normal. We play the part of the happy family. We spent Thanksgiving at home in the big house. All of us living together under one roof again, even I get to sleep in our bedroom. I am of course sleeping on the sofa in our bedroom, but at least Ana is a few feet away from me. I don't get ostracized to the dungeon called Escala.

Both kids also come back for Flynn's retirement party. Of course, Flynn is only retiring from working for the rest of the world. He still works for me, full time. This is something I have wanted since I met that S.O.B. As speeches are made for Flynn, I make a risky decision of wrapping my arm around Ana's waist and pulling her close. She looks up at me with shock when I make my move, but eventually she just smiles at me. She doesn't pull away or fight me. Her red dress is hot. She looks beautiful in red. It makes her look sexy and powerful.

Christmas comes around and we all head to Aspen. We continue our roles as a happy family and it feels good. It feels right. I have missed us all together. Ted and I spend some time fishing and he talks to me about law school. He wasn't accepted into the law school that he wanted, so he is waiting and going to find a job in Los Angeles while he tries again next year. I quickly change the subject, it reminds me too much of Carrick. Ted understands. The girls go shopping and Ana buys Phoebe dresses for her sorority's formal. Phoebe goes on and on about Rhett Earnhardt. She talks about how she misses him and how she thinks that he could be the one. I am really not looking forward to that phone call. I don't want to give my girl away, even if it is to Rhett Earnhardt.

Life is magical during the holidays. I feel like I live under a magical spell during this time. I soak up everything I can because I know that when it is over, I have to go back to the real world. The real world is where Ana tolerates me; the real world is where I live alone.

Ever since Ana called for the permanent separation agreement, Flynn has been coaching me on how to be friends with her. "Friend" is such a new concept for me, especially with Ana. He explains that this will help her trust me again. I broke us, so I have to fix this. I have been doing my best at giving her space. Space is what she wanted so space is what I have to give her. I still try to see her from time to time. I like hearing updates on her life and Grey Publishing. We keep it formal when we see each other because I know she still doesn't trust me.

Flynn practically has to force me to stop the security team from monitoring her every move. I have agreed to only let Sawyer or Taylor report back to me if an issue affects her immediate safety. Taylor and Sawyer often switch back and forth between Ana and I. Taylor was honest with me and told me that he did bring Ana to the apartment so she could catch me in the act. I was mad at first, but I realized what he did was for my own good. Firing him would do nothing but cause me more problems with Ana. Taylor was honest with her, I wasn't.

We live like this for months. Living separately and seeing each other occasionally. It is a boring existence so I throw myself in my work. I also pass the time by exercising. I think I have been through 6 trainers in the past three months because they all get irritated by me. Anything I can do to keep my mind off missing my wife.

I haven't tried to date; I know that would be the nail in the coffin for Ana and me if I did. Emily calls, I don't pick up. I don't know what I would say to her at this point. She does not understand that we are over. She isn't who I need.

During the holidays and our brief conversations, Ana hasn't mentioned anything about that damn shrink I saw her with. I haven't seen or heard any other indication that she is seeing him or anybody else. I hope she broke up with that weasel. He took advantage of her by seducing her in their sessions. It is so unethical, it makes me sick. I am almost tempted to have Sawyer monitor her, but I decide against it. She asked for space, I need to honor that.

May 1st rolls around and I know Teddy's graduation from USC and his birthday are both around the corner. Ana and I have discussed going down to Los Angeles with Phoebe and celebrating as a family, but we haven't gone into greater details. I haven't seen Ana in a while so I am excited for the opportunity to discuss this with her.

"Taylor," I yell.

"Yes sir," Taylor says as he enters.

"I tried calling Ana's cell but it is off. Do you mind calling Sawyer for me? I need to discuss a few things with Ana."

Taylor nods and departs. Five minutes later he returns, "Sawyer says she is home for the evening, but she is occupied."

I smile, she must be working. Over the holidays, she informed me that she will begin writing children's books. The rest of Grey Publishing loved the idea and her editor friend Kourtney is helping her with the process. She found a love for writing children's books when our kids were small. She hated the newer books the kids were given as presents so she created her own. They were really good so I encouraged her to try her hand at that.

"She is probably just working," I say getting up from my chair, "By the time we get to the house. She'll probably be done."

"Very good sir."

**As we take the drive out to the house, I suddenly get nervous. **I haven't seen her since March and I am nervous, but excited, to see her again. As we pull up the drive, I notice a yellow Porche sitting in the driveway.

"That must be her editor friend Kourtney's car," I say as Taylor and I get out of the SUV. As we make it up the porch, Sawyer dashes to meet us.

"Mr. Grey, I don't think now is a good time sir. Mrs. Grey is very occupied."

"Sawyer, get out of my way, this will only take a second."

Sawyer yells for me, "Mr. Grey please, I beg of you."

_Calm down Sawyer._ I walk through my house and find her study, but she isn't in there. I try to find her as I continue to roam and that is when I hear it. A sound I know too well. A sound I have caused many times. I hear Ana's moans coming from upstairs in our bedroom. Then I hear his moans, getting louder, their groans and moans becoming one. _Who is she with? Who is the bastard fucking my wife?_

"Oh Alex," I hear her cry, "Alex, Alex, oh god baby yes." _Fuck,_ she is with him. She is still with that bastard. I hold on to the kitchen island as I try to think, but I can't think clearly. He is touching her. He is inside of her. A place I had only taken residence. Now he gets her, he gets to have all of her because of my idiocy. I feel my inside begin to tear apart. I feel my heart start to throb uncontrollably. I try to control my anger, but I can't. I just stand lurched over the kitchen island, trying to take reign of my uncontrollable body and my uncontrollable life.

"Mr. Grey," Sawyer says softly, "I don't know what you were going to discuss with Mrs. Grey but I think maybe you should come back later."

_God damnit, why aren't they done yet?_ How long have they been up there? Maybe I should get the bastard off her myself. I stand up, my eyes wide.

Taylor scowls, knowing my plan, "Don't you dare go up there."

"What?" I snap. _They are still going at it._ _Somebody needs to stop them._

"You caused this mess, you bastard. You leave her alone," Taylor snaps. Taylor has never talked to me like that.

"Do you need a pink slip, Taylor?" I snap back.

"You won't fire me."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because deep down, you know I am right." We all glare at each other as they both reach their climax. _God damn it, I want to kill him. _I should leave. I don't think I can see her right now. I know I'll murder him if he gets anywhere near me.

A terrible thought enters my brain, _he better not be fucking living here with her._ It is bad enough that he gets to touch her, be inside her, and love what is mine, but I am not paying for a house where he gets to fuck her all he wants. My inner demons laugh at me, delighted by my demise, "_That was part of your agreement, remember? Remember how you fucked Emily in her bed. Well, now she gets to fuck Alex in your house all she wants. It is either that or she runs off with him and half of your money. Isn't life grand?"_

"Sawyer," she calls from the top of the stairs, "I looked out the window and saw the SUV outside… who is that?" He obviously doesn't know how to answer her so he stays quiet. "Sawyer are you down there?" She finally appears at the bottom of the stairs and my heart stops. She is wearing a man's button up shirt that I know isn't mine, and nothing else. Her eyes go wide. "Christian what are you doing here?"

My brain freezes, _why am I here? _Then I hear the fucker. "Baby, where'd you go?"

"Alex, stay upstairs please…," she says frantically, but it is too late. Alex appears and he smirks when he sees me. _Why is that fucker smirking at me? _He is wearing sweats and I can tell the fucker works out just as much as I do. Mrs. Grey sure likes them toned and ripped.

"Baby, go back upstairs, I need to talk to Christian," she says and he scowls at me.

"Alex," I acknowledge him politely.

"Christian," he says with a bitter nod. He looks at her one more time and assesses her mood. He mouths _"will you be ok?"_

"Yeah Alex, she will be fine," I snap. Of course she will be ok with me. Alex nod and Ana scowls at me, but says nothing.

At the same time Sawyer, Taylor, and Alex exit the room to different locations in the house. Once they are gone, I turn to her, "Is that fucker living here with you?"

She looks shocked, "Is that why you came over here? To annoy me about my boyfriend?"

"No I came over here to talk to you about our son, but it looks like I came over way too soon," I snap back.

Her scowl deepens, "If you must know, we switch back and forth between here and his apartment." _Holy shit, she is living with him. This is worse than I thought._ "Why do you want to talk about Ted, is he ok?"

"You probably wouldn't hear his phone call anyway over Alex's moaning."

"I am surprised _you_ heard _our _kids call while you were spending your time with Emily," she snaps back.

I run my hands through my hair. We have been doing so well since Christmas, and I don't want to fight with her. "I don't want to fight," I say trying to calm down, "I want to talk about our trip to Las Angeles to see Ted for his birthday and graduation."

She reluctantly takes a seat. "Yeah, since he didn't get into law school, I want to make sure he still enjoys the weekend."

We are both calm now. "My thoughts exactly, there are really exclusive restaurants and clubs in LA so I thought I could find one of those to rent out and invite his friends. Then we can have a family dinner the next night."

She nods, "I think that's a good idea. Phe will love the shopping."

I snicker, "Yeah, she probably will."

"Good, so I think we should leave here with Phe the Thursday before and stay till the following Tuesday."

Ana nods again, "Ok that works."

"Good, that was easy."

"That was something you could have done over the phone," she says softly.

"I wanted to see you Ana," I say honestly, "It is hard not seeing you so much."

She looks up at me sadly, "Well I better go. Alex is waiting for me upstairs. Please call before you come over next time."

The idea makes my skin boil. "Ana… one last thing." She turns and waits for me to talk. "Don't bring him around the kids or talk about him with them. I know I am not your favorite person, but please respect me enough to do that."

She scowls for a moment but nods, "Ok Christian."

**As we pull out of the driveway I feel like my purpose has been restored. **I no longer am going to play the "friend" card. I cannot sit back and watch her fall for someone else. I am going to get her back. Game- fucking- on.


	11. Los Angeles and the engagement ring

**A/N – Ok, I really mean it this time. You won't get anything else till Friday, probably more like Saturday. Unless I decide to resort to shorter chapters – Oh Lord, don't tempt me. I use a song toward the end of this chapter – Amy Winehouse's version of "Will you still love me tomorrow." Also, the Carole King version would work if you so choose, I love both. **

**We are still in flashback with this chapter. **

**Christian's POV**

**Chapter 11 – Los Angeles and the engagement ring **

** I have our trip to Los Angeles completely mapped out. **I am excited to recapture our family time from the holidays. My boy is turning 24 and I am so proud of him for graduating from the University of Southern California. I am also excited to get Ana for an entire weekend, a weekend without her douchebag boyfriend standing in my way. I take a half day from work so I can finish my plans for the weekend. Also, Phoebe is due home around 5PM and I want to be home to greet her when she arrives.

I hear her car pull into the driveway just as I am wrapping up my plans. "Hello?" I hear her yell once she walks into the house, "Mom, are you home?"

"No baby she's still at work, I'm in the family room," I yell back at her.

"Daddy!" she says and her excitement floors me. She enters the family room and I smile. She looks more like her mother with each passing day. "Dad, what are you doing home? I thought you'd be at work."

"I had to wrap up some plans. Come here, sit down. I need to talk to you about my plans for the weekend and I'll need your help…"

**Thirty minutes later, we hear Ana's car pull up to the house. **"Mom is home," Phoebe announces as she gets up to greet her. Seconds later, I hear the front door open.

"Mom, I love your hair!" I hear Phoebe exclaim.

"Thanks sweetie! Ah, I am so happy you're finally home," Ana says.

"I wish it could be longer. I still have stupid finals to take and then I'll be home for good. Dad you need to see Mom's hair, she looks hot!" _I forgot Phoebe will be home for the summer, another excuse to be let back in the house. _

Phoebe pulls Ana into the family room and I have to agree with my daughter, Ana's new haircut is sexy. She got bangs for the first time ever, which is bold, but they suit her and frame her face well.

"Phe's right, you look good baby," I say softly as Ana smiles.

"Thanks," Ana says as Phoebe grins big, "We have to go. Your plane isn't going to wait at Sea-Tac forever."

I nod arrogantly, "Yeah it will."

** After an evening of traveling, we finally reach Ted's apartment in Los Angeles. **We decide not to stay long because it is getting late and Ted's graduation ceremony is in the morning, but we want to see him and have a quick chat before everyone goes to bed.

He opens the door, and he immediately embraces his mother. "Hey baby boy," she says into his neck.

"Hey Mom," he says sleepily.

"Happy Birthday Graduation," Phoebe says, hugging him after Ana.

"Thanks kid," he says. I am next in line, "Hey Dad."

"Hey buddy, it's good to see you," I say, last to hug my son.

"Damn, when did we get so huggy?" Ted asks and we all laugh.

Ana smiles and takes hold of his chin, "I am just so happy to see you, you nervous about graduating tomorrow?"

He snorts, "Hell no. I am more annoyed I have to do it in the first place. We have so many people graduating, it will take forever."

"Well I am just proud of you for graduating," Ana says, smirking at me, "Your old man dropped out…"

"Ok," Ted says, coming to my defense, "He dropped out of Harvard and started a billion dollar company, which is different than dropping out of "Hickville South Dakota Junior college"."

"Yeah," I say to Ana petulantly.

She scrunches her nose adorably and sticks her tongue out at me.

"Ok you too," Phoebe admonishes, "Enough. I need to get the old people to bed, so walk pretty tomorrow Ted!"

"Oh yeah, I'll be sure to prance really nice for everybody."

**Phoebe is excited to have her own bedroom and I am quite thrilled to see that there is no couch in mine and Ana's hotel suite. **After our luggage is brought in, she stands in our hotel room stumped. She doesn't know what to do next. "I can sleep on the floor," I offer, "or I can get a separate room and run back in the morning so Phoebe doesn't notice.

Ana rolls her eyes and sighs deeply, "That won't be necessary. We can share the bed, just behave Mr. Grey."

"I never misbehave," I scoff as I take my place at the right side, _my_ permanent spot.

She takes her place on the left and we spend twenty minutes considering the most appropriate way to sleep together. We finally both end up on our backs, staring up at the ceiling. Neither of us can sleep, so I decide to mess with her a little bit.

"So Ana, I have to ask you something but you have to promise not to get mad."

"I love questions when they start out like that…"

"I have to ask something I have been curious about since my trip to the house at the beginning of the month," I say, ready for her wrath, "Is he bigger than me?"

"Oh. My. God," she gasps, "Could you be more childish right now?"

"Answer the question Ana…"

"Go to bed Grey before I punch you," she says, hitting me with her pillow. I can't help the big idiotic grin on my face. This feels like us again.

**Getting dressed in the morning is slightly awkward. **I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't trying to catch a peek of that body. She is definitely taking good care of herself, and I try not to think too deeply about who is on the receiving end of that nice body. I also might have dropped my towel once on accident, and I might have caught her peeking.

We meet Phoebe downstairs, grab a quick breakfast, and finally head to Ted's graduation ceremony. We take a seat together and I squeeze Ana's hand. She smiles up at me sadly.

"Teddy is growing up," she says as a small tear escapes her eye. I wipe it back with my thumb and she sighs.

"I know, baby," I say as I sneak in a quick kiss on her temple.

As Ted's name is called and he walks across the stage, Ana and Phoebe take a blitz of pictures and I wrap my arm around Ana's waist. This moment doesn't feel like a "hey come to me, you're still legally my wife" kind of a moment, but more of a "we did it, we raised a college graduate" kind of moment. No wonder Carrick was so upset when I dropped out of Harvard. He missed having this moment with my Mom. Ana stands on her tippy toes and offers the sweetest of kisses on my cheek, and I know she feels the same way.

**The ceremony ends, we exhaust picture options with Ted, and catch lunch as a family. **Ted won't be changing apartments post-graduation, but will be starting a new job soon so Ana decides I need to take Ted suit shopping.

"Mom, suits really aren't my thing."

"You aren't in college anymore, you need grown up clothes. No one wears suits better than your father. He'll be a good teacher."

"Fine," Ted groans.

"And we can go shopping on Rodeo Drive? Right Mom?" Phoebe says excitedly. She quickly changes her tone to a whisper, "Can we take Daddy's Centurion card?"

I laugh at her tone. My girl isn't spoiled. Ana did an outstanding job teaching Phoebe and Ted how to appreciate money and not squander it. Ana did such a good job that when Phoebe gets the opportunity to shop, she acts like a drug addict needing her next fix.

"Yes baby," I say to my daughter, "Please go and spend all of my money."

She laughs, "But we do need to remember that we need to be back by 6 PM to get ready for Teddy's party at 8..."

We both nod at each other and wink several times. "Why are you two winking? Are you planning something?" Ana asks suspiciously.

"I'll never tell…."

**Ana flies into our hotel room with her hands full of bags. **"You should have not told your daughter to spend all of your money. I think she took you seriously."

I laugh, "Good. I am glad she did. And I'll be happy to report that our son has suitable work attire."

"Well done Mr. Grey."

"Thank you."

"So why were you and Phoebe winking earlier? I tried to pry the information out of her but she wouldn't budge," Ana says, rummaging through her bags.

"I won't budge either."

"AH!" she groans, "You two are the worst."

**As we pull up to the site of Teddy's party, Ana smiles. **"Greystone Manor, how appropriate,"

"I thought so," I add as I turn to the kids, "Alright guys have fun, but not too much fun." They both get out of the car nonchalantly, very aware of my plans.

"Bye Dad, Bye Mom," Phoebe says as she winks at me, "It should be all set up."

Ana groans, "Somebody please tell me what is going on. You two have been driving me crazy all day. You are obviously in cahoots."

"Just have a nice night with Dad," Phoebe says to her mother, "Sawyer and an extra security team Dad hired will be watching our party. So you are free to have a worry-less night with your husband."

"But we came here to spend time with you guys," Ana adds. I am instantly worried that she'll hate her surprise.

"You don't want to hang out with my friends Mom. We spent the whole day together and then we have tomorrow and the next couple days as a family. Just enjoy what Dad has planned," Ted says. Phoebe and Ted finally make their exits out of the car. Once they are safety in the club, Ana turns to me.

"What is your game here Grey?" she says, obviously mad, "Please tell me you haven't planned something inappropriate."

Damn it, she's mad. I want us to have more alone time together, but I don't want to make her _this _mad. "Just promise me you'll see what I have planned and if you feel uncomfortable, you are free to leave," I say, hoping she doesn't leave.

She rolls her eyes at me and I can't help but smile. "Fine," she says, very petulantly.

**We pull back up to our hotel and her eyes turn to me in shock. **"I am not taking you to our bedroom if that's what you're thinking," I add exasperated as Taylor opens the car door.

She rolls her eyes and follows me to the elevators. Once we hit the elevators, we both feel it. The electricity that has never left us, it has been this way since the beginning of our relationship. She tries to look away from me, hoping no eye contact with me will kill it, but it just doesn't go away.

We hit the top floor of the hotel and from here we must take stairs. "I didn't wear the right shoes for this," she comments as she takes a look at the questionably stable set of stairs in front of her.

"We'll go slowly," I add, taking her hand.

"Are we going on the roof top?"

"You're worse than the kids, just come on Ana," I say as we begin to walk up the stairs together.

As we finally hit the rooftop, I am pleased to see that it looks exactly how I wanted it to look. The candles and twinkle lights that Phoebe picked out are perfect. I really hope Ana recognizes my choice in flowers, she should know them. I turn to Ana as she takes in the rooftop display and her jaw is on the floor. The roof is full of flowers, candles, and stunning lights, it is really quite beautiful.

"Phoebe picked out the candles and lights. I had some picked out but she said they didn't work with the flowers," I add softly as she continues to take it all in.

"The flowers…" Ana whispers, "I recognize them."

"They were the same flowers I used when I proposed to you."

She sighs happily. "Christian, this is beautiful."

"I thought the background should measure up to my date for the evening."

She snorts, "That sounds like a line."

I smile, "Come, let's sit and eat."

**As our server for the evening takes away the Filet Minion, Ana takes another look around. **"No wine?" she asks.

I snort, "I didn't want to be accused of getting you drunk."

She smirks, "Well, since obviously you are making the moves on me with this beautiful display of affection, it's good that you're keeping me sober so I don't get the wrong idea."

"What can I say? You've brought out the romantic side in me over the years. Really, I just wanted to spend more time with you. I've missed you."

"I guess I have missed you too," she adds sadly, "Why haven't you dated?"

_Oh geez, are we really talking about this? _"Because I have realized that being with anybody isn't fair to them." She looks at me sadly and I realize that I don't want to continue this discussion. "I can't believe we are the parents of a college graduate."

"I know, we are so old," she says and I laugh, "Also, I need to tell you something and I think we both may need wine when I do."

"What?"

"Maggie told me that she and Rhett went shopping for engagement rings."

"What?!"

"He has the engagement ring for Phoebe in his possession. Maggie told me he is preparing every night for when he eventually asks you for her hand."

I put my head in my hands, "Oh dear God…. Wait, why is he preparing so much?"

She laughs, "Rhett is afraid of you so he wants to be prepared when he eventually asks you for Phoebe's hand."

We both laugh. Then suddenly, Ana loses herself in a fit of giggles.

"What is so damn funny?" I ask her smirking.

"I can't say it. It is too terrible of a thought."

"Say it," I say, "I won't judge you. It is just us."

She laughs some more, "When you look at Phoebe, sometimes do you ever just think to yourself. 'Damn, that rain storm sure was fun'".

We both crack up laughing. Phoebe was conceived the night a massive rain storm hit Seattle. The power had gone out in our house and caused our entire home to be sweltering hot. This of course revved the two of us up and we ended up having sex in three of the rooms downstairs. It was one of the most sexually electrifying nights I have ever had with my wife.

I look across the way at Ana and I know she is remembering too. I can see her tells: she is squirming and her cheeks are turning red. I realize that I still can affect her. I realize that I haven't lost her to him yet. This isn't a lost cause.

**At exactly the time I requested, music flows through the rooftop. **"Oh yes, it is time to dance," I say, reaching for her hand.

"Dancing?"

"Yes, Dance with me. This isn't a request. It is an order," I say smiling at her.

"Ordering me around are you?"

"Yes," I say, "Deal with it."

She beams as she takes my hand and we sway to the music.

_Tonight you're mine completely  
You give your love so sweetly  
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes  
Will you love me tomorrow?_

She moves her head to lean on my shoulder and pulls herself closer to me. I relish the feel of her against me and this peaceful moment we are having together.

_Is this a lasting treasure  
Or just a moment's pleasure?  
Can I believe the magic of your sighs?  
Will you still love me tomorrow?_

_Tonight with words unspoken  
And you say that I'm the only one, the only one, yeah  
But will my heart be broken  
When the night meets the morning star?  
_

I have missed her so much. I have missed us more than I can bear. This just solidifies in my mind that she will be the only woman I will ever truly love.

_I'd like to know that your love  
Is love I can be sure of  
So tell me now, cause I won't ask again  
Will you still love me tomorrow?  
Will you still love me tomorrow?  
Yeah_

As the song ends, I feel the electricity between us, the bolt of magic that is Christian and Ana. As she pulls away from me, those beautiful blue eyes look up at me. They are either filled with sadness or uncertainty, I am not really sure.

I lean in and kiss her gently. I brace myself for the smack on my face that could possibly come next, but it never does. She kisses me back, hard. God, it feels so good to kiss her again, it has been way too long. She runs her hands through my hair and deepens the kiss. A moan, that I cannot stop, escapes from the back of my throat. As I run my hands up her legs, she pauses. She pulls away and it looks like it takes a great battle of wills for her to stop herself.

"We can't."

"Please Ana, I need you." I sound needy and desperate.

"I can't. I can't do that to him," she says and I sigh. She won't do to him what I did to her. "I think I need to get a separate room."

"Ana, I am sorry."

"No, I am not mad. It's just, if I stay in that room tonight, I will be tempted to do something with you that I shouldn't."

I have never wanted the fucker more out of the picture then I have tonight. If he wasn't involved, I could be with her tonight. A startling realization suddenly hits me, she wants me, and she has to keep her control around me. This is the closest we have been for months. I didn't go the distance, but I feel like a small victory for "Christian and Ana" was won tonight. I am back in her mind and her heart, and that thought leaves me content.

"Ok," I say, kissing her on the cheek. Her eyes close and she leans into my touch. Yes, she really isn't lost forever. She is still with me.

**Ana's POV**

**I feel like a whore. **I really do. I am so confused about everything. Tonight with Christian was perfect. I felt what we used to have together. His love for me felt genuine and real. I wanted to stay on that roof top forever.

There is just one small issue, Alex. I love him too. I don't know how it is possible to be in love with two men at the same time. I am such a whore. I can't even deal with myself right now. Alex is going to be so heart broken when I tell him what happened. How I really kissed Christian tonight. How I really enjoyed every minute of it. I sound like a fucking teenager. Phoebe should be having problems like this, not me. God, what am I going to do? I can't even think straight.

**Christian's POV**

** The trip ends as well as it started, if not better. **The Grey's are once again the happy family you see on the cover of the magazine, and it feels so very real. I have never had this before and I hate so much that it will soon be gone.

"You know if LA is too much for you, you can always come home to Mommy," Ana says as she hugs Ted for the twentieth and last time.

He rolls his eyes, "Yes Mom I know."

We all say our final goodbyes and take the GEH jet home.

"Honey, you can stay here tonight if you want. You can drive back to U Dub in the morning," Ana says to Phoebe, assessing how dark the evening is. _Please Phoebe, stay home so I can be home too._

"Mom, it is not THAT far back to U Dub, I'll be fine. I'll see you guys when finals are over." We both hug our daughter and we watch her as she pulls away from the house.

Ana turns to me, "You know, you don't have to go back into town if you don't want to. You can stay here."

"Really?" I ask, very hopeful.

"You still have suits in the closet so you can get dressed for work here. I took tomorrow off so I won't be in a rush to get out in the morning, you'll have space."

"That sounds good," I say.

"But you are sleeping on the couch, let me make the very clear," she jokes and I smile.

"Of course."

** Wednesday is a great day in my office. **After our trip went perfectly, I am on cloud nine. I can feel her returning to me. This trip to Los Angeles was a game changer for my relationship with my wife. I think I am going to try to see her again sometime this week.

Lunchtime rolls around and my new assistant Lilith rings me. "Mr. Grey, Alexander West is here to see you. He doesn't have an appointment sir, should I send him away?"

I want to laugh into the receiver and tell her to kick him out, but I decline. I want to hear what this bastard has to say to me. He is on my territory; I have the upper hand here. "Send him in Lilith."

He enters and I can tell from his body language that he is pissed. I want to say "Sorry I made out with your girlfriend" but I feel like that would be too childish. This is only my second interaction with the fucker, but I can already read this child like a book. He is young and he wears his emotions on his sleeve.

"Dr. West, take a seat," I say pointing to a chair, "What can I do for you?"

He shakes his head as he sits down, "Cut the bullshit Grey, you know why I am here. She told me everything."

"Good, I am glad. So why are you here exactly?"

"I wanted to let you know that I know your game. I know what you are doing and it isn't going to work…"

I take a good look into his eyes, "And why is that…"

He smirks and I want to smack him. "Because instead of getting mad and throwing a fit that you tried to take her from me, I am going to stay calm and be reasonable. She is legally your wife so fine, kiss her all you want, but you aren't ever going to get further then that with her."

"I hate to sound like a broken record… but why is that?"

"Because you didn't get further with her, at the end of the night she walked away." I want to murder him right now.

"Listen kid, at the end of the day I am her husband. We have two kids together. She has been mine for over 20 years. You don't stand a chance against those odds."

He goes to his jacket pocket and pulls out a square box and sits it on my desk. He opens the box and a massive diamond ring stares back at me. My heart plummets.

"You wanna bet?" Alex says picking back up the ring and walking out of my office, leaving me in a cloud of insecurity.


	12. Acts of Desperation

**We are still in Flashback**

**Chapter 12 – Acts of Desperation**

**Christian's POV**

**So it happened.** My daughter is engaged. Rhett proposed to Phoebe at a Mariner's game. While I love the Mariners myself, I think sports arena proposals are tacky. Rhett does work for the Mariner's front office but there are better ways to propose. At the end of the day, Phoebe loved it and so that is what matters, to each their own.

**I think I terrified Rhett when he tried to ask me for Phoebe's hand.** I was really surprised when Rhett asked me to lunch on the Thursday after our trip to Los Angeles. I figured this would be just a short and sweet phone conversation, but I decided to humor the poor kid. He was sweating the entire time, and he kept running his hands through his hair. We chatted. I asked him about his Dad and how life was in the front office for the Mariners.

Suddenly he asked me a question that absolutely startled me. "How do Phoebe and I have a long and happy marriage like you and Mrs. Grey?"

_Dear god, how do I even answer that?_ Anything involving blue skies and rainbows is a lie so I decide to sell it to him straight.

"There is no such thing Rhett."

His eyes widen, "What do you mean?"

"You both are going to come in with baggage and heart ache. You will try to make a life together and it is going to be hard…" I say as his face fills with worry. This might be the longest conversation I have ever had with Phoebe's boyfriend. "And you are going to hurt each other. And you are going to have to continually forgive each other and work through every hardship and every troubling time. There is never a break, never release."

His face stays the same. "But one day, you are going to do something that will break her heart. Break her heart so much that you aren't sure she'll ever forgive you. Never get complacent and never think she is always going to be there. Never get selfish. God damn, selfishness is a fucking killer. Don't ever start thinking you can do one thing or two things that no one will know about, that you think will make you feel good. The temporary release isn't worth being put through a lifetime of agony."

I stop and asses Rhett's expression. _Shit,_ now Rhett won't ever want to get married. I don't want to scare this kid out of marrying my daughter. Rhett Earnhardt isn't a complicated guy; he won't bring Fifty Shades of baggage into their relationship. He will be good for her.

"Love her above all else. Take care of each other. Don't close yourself off to her. If you need support, go to her. And yes, you may marry my daughter." Relief fills his body and I want to laugh. Poor kid, I am already a terrible father-in-law.

** Ana and Phoebe are in full out wedding mode.** The house looks like a fucking bridal salon. Rhett proposed soon after Phoebe's finals and they immediately moved in together in the city. I don't like the idea, but her mother and I did the same thing so I really can't comment. This means I have been ostracized to Escala for good. I come home enough to keep up appearances for Phoebe, but I have been politely asked not to be around full time.

One engagement I haven't heard a damn thing about is Alex and Ana's.I haven't heard anything for _months_, and I keep waiting.The bastard showed me his hand and is making me wait. I keep waiting for the moment of truth. I check Ana's hands constantly, I live in terror of being served with divorce papers, and I am anxious every time my phone rings. I try to still spend as much time with Ana as possible, but in the back of my mind I am waiting for my world to crash down around me. I have to give the bastard credit. This is a genius move because I am living in agony. If he has already asked Ana, she has given no indication that anything is different.

**After five months of this shit, I finally mention something to Flynn.** That jackass did recommend Ana see Dr. West in the first fucking place. When I tell him everything, Flynn looks flabbergasted.

"What?" Flynn asks wide eyed.

"That jackass doctor you recommended is fucking my wife and he wants to marry her. God, they've been together almost a year."

Flynn closes his and takes in a deep breath. "You tell me everything. Why did you leave this out?"

I don't know why I haven't told John. I underestimated Ana and Alex's bond. I thought this guy was just a phase for her, I thought I could handle him by myself. Obviously I was wrong.

"I thought I could deal with him. He is only 36."

He shakes his head in disgust, "If I had known he would do this, I would have never sent her to him…"

"Why did you?"

"He was my bloody apprentice," he blurts out, "I trained him, helped him through the beginning of his career. I thought I was sending her to the best!" A "shouty" Flynn is rare, terrifying, and very amusing sight to see.

**Two days after my session with Flynn, I get a call to meet him at some psychiatry charity Gala at a hotel downtown. **"Rhian's out of town visiting her mother, I need a date."

"What?"

"Trust me Christian, you'll want to meet me at this function, but it shouldn't take very long and you can enter through the back entrance. Just show up in a suit at 7:30 PM."

"Did you join the mafia John?"

"Just be there at 7:30…"

**Taylor brings me through the back entrance and he thankfully doesn't ask any questions. **I don't think I could answer any of Taylor's questions anyway; I have no idea what John has planned. I take the elevator to the ballroom and Flynn meets me in the lobby.

"Come with me, stand where I put you so you aren't seen by any of the party-goers, and listen. You'll know what you are looking for when you hear it."

"What is this? What are you doing?"

He takes a deep breath, "I might as well tell you. West should be at this Gala tonight without Ana. I am going to confront him, and I figured you would want to hear this conversation."

I smirk. Flynn is going to confront West, this could be good. "Thank you, but why are you doing this?"

He sighs, "I was the one who sent her to him, and I feel responsible."

"You know you aren't responsible for my failing marriage."

He snorts, "Well of course I am not responsible for that…. Oh bloody hell, here he comes." Flynn sneaks around the corner and I wait.

"John, it is good to see you. Dr. Bailey said you were looking for me."

"Yeah, I am," he says, pausing for a moment, "I need to talk to you about something pretty serious."

"Ok," Alex says cautiously.

Flynn takes in a deep breath and he seems nervous. Flynn is nervous about telling it how it like it is? This feels like the twilight zone.

"When I sent Anastasia Grey to you, I did not send her with the intention of you sleeping with her."

He snorts, "God Flynn, is this why you want to talk to me?"

"Yes it is Alex, what the fuck are you doing?"

My eyes go wide. Flynn doesn't ever use "F" word. "Did your buddy Christian Grey ask you to harass me?"

"No, I wanted to know myself why my apprentice has done something outrageously unethical."

"I dropped her as a patient."

"That's not the point. She shared detailed confidential information with you. She gained your trust and then you moved in on her like a snake."

"She is an adult. She was going through a tough time, but that doesn't make her any less capable of making decisions for herself. If she didn't want me then she would have walked away," he snaps back at Flynn.

"God, you don't get it. She was in weak spot, and an attractive man in his later 30's showed interest in her mind and in her body. Of course she is going to jump into a relationship with you," Flynn snaps right back.

"She was in a weak spot Flynn. Then I came in and changed that. She is stronger now," he adds softly.

Flynn sighs, obviously exasperated with the kid. "I need to ask you something… I heard that you had an intention of marrying her. Please tell me that's a fucking joke," Flynn snaps.

"It isn't. I have asked her to marry me and she has accepted."

My body immediately curls up into a ball as I fall to the ground. This feels worse than I anticipated, and I can feel myself losing control. It takes everything in me not to punch the granite wall behind me.

"Marriage?" Flynn asks baffled.

"We are waiting till my future step daughter gets married and for Ana to file for divorce before we announce it. Ana doesn't want to spoil Phoebe's big day."

I come really close to punching that granite wall after I hear him say "future step daughter", that fucking bastard. I can't stand here anymore. I have to see her. I have to talk sense into her. She can't marry him, she can't be with him. After everything we have been through, I have to stop this from happening.

I leave the party immediately and head for the garage**. **Flynn will understand. I am thankful he snuck me into the party, she may have never told me otherwise. Taylor senses my mood and drives as fast as he can in this traffic. As we pull up to the house, I practically fall out of the car in anticipation. I am relieved to see that Ana is home alone. I need to get to the bottom of this with no interruptions.

Ana greets me at the door with a surprised look on her face, "Hey Christian. What's wrong?"

I close the door and turn to Ana, "So when were you planning on telling me that you were going to marry him?"

She closes her eyes as if she is in pain. "Soon. I was going to tell you soon. How did you find out?"

"He practically rubbed it in my face," I add bitterly.

She groans, "He shouldn't have done that."

"Don't you see?" I say, "He is an ass. He doesn't deserve you."

"I love him…" she whispers.

"What about the last couple of months? What about what happened during Ted's birthday? You. Still. Love. Me too," I say, emphasizing every word.

"I do," she says as she tries to compose herself, "But he is my future."

I can't stand without support. I need help breathing too. She just put the nail in the coffin. When Ana is resolute, she won't change her mind. I have done everything I can do. Without saying another word to her, I slowly walk out of the house. I feel like a ghost as I move down the steps and slowly get back into the car. I can't think, I can't feel. It is over.

I can't go back to Escala; it would just swallow me whole. The dungeon of Escala would eat me alive like it does every night. I can't go back there. I direct Taylor to take me to my club. It escapes my lips before I can even think about it. I can be in my private room, free from the crowds.

As I walk in, I feel eyes on me. I don't want them on me. I want them gone. Before I head off to my private room, I feel something very dark pulling at me.

It is then that I see two semi-familiar brown eyes staring at me. She is sitting at a table with another man and she doesn't seem the least bit interested in him. Her eyes are glued to me and I like that she is staring at me. I have met Sasha Arnold on several occasions and each time I have had to control my thoughts about her. She is beautiful, no one would deny that.

Tonight as she stares at me, I know what I want. I know what I need. I need to feel in control of the shit storm that is my life. I need to release my pent up demons that I have been holding on to for a year. I need my control back.

I walk to their table and I turn to the kid. "Hey, I think your car is getting towed."

The kid's eyes go wide as he races to the exit. "Thank you," Sasha says to me once he is gone, "That date was going terribly, I must make it up to you Mr. Grey."  
I reach for her hand, "Come with me and I'll show you how."

**Authors Note – Funny that majority of my comments on chapter 11 were about Sasha and Alex. Please let me know what you think. I think it's safe to say that the crazy train has left the station…**


	13. Light versus Darkness

**A/N – People have taken on the issue of Christian's demons and his past in many different ways. In this chapter, I am sort of dealing with this in a REALLY strange way. I think it will be cool, but some of you will probably be freaked out by it. It is strange, just brace yourself. ****We are still in flash back.**

****** Sorry for the repost, this website and I are not friends. **

**Music recommendation for this chapter – Seven Devils by Florence and the Machine**

**Chapter 13 – Light versus Darkness**

**Christian's POV**

**I remember the man who I am turning back into.** The person I used to be before Ana, he was a miserable son of a bitch. He had money, power, and women to fuck, and I hate him. I know how good it can be and I want nothing to do with him.

Sasha is a distraction. I am not really sure if she is a very good distraction, but she is here and willing. I have stuck with her for almost nine months. I am surprised with myself that I have kept her this long. The only place I can ever take her is the playroom. I can't even stomach to walk into my own bedroom anymore. I have taken permanent residence on the couch in my study. I live and work in my study now, I don't care to be in any other place of the apartment.

Sasha had to sign the NDA. There was no other choice in the matter. She looked at me with wide scared eyes when I handed it to her.

"Is this a joke?" she asked the night I brought her back to Escala from my club.

"Your best friend is my daughter. So if you want this to go further, you will sign the damn paper." She nodded her head and signed. She wants this to go further.

I remember her shocked expression when I showed her my playroom that night. Her shock turned into a disgusting smile. She was excited about the prospects of where I could take her. I hate that she is so willing and I am so passive.

**Eight months later, here I am.** The night of my daughter's engagement or wedding party, I am not really sure what this party is for. I take a good look at my estranged wife from afar. She is so absorbed by everything dealing with Phoebe. If she were still mine, I would have made sure she had eaten something by now. I am surprised by how much of herself she has thrown into all of this planning. I wonder if Alex has even been able to see her at all.

"Hey kid" I yell at a server, "If I slip you a 50, will you make sure the woman over there in the purple dress gets a plate of food shoved in her face every twenty minutes?"

The server's eyes go wide, "Of course!"

After an hour, she finally greets me at the bar and I get nervous. We haven't really talked for months. We keep a happy face for the kids, but we are as far from each other as we have ever been.

"Hi," she says softly, taking a spot next to me.

"Hi," I breathe, "This is one hell of a party you planned."

"I basically had to pry control away from your mother."

Sasha suddenly arrives and she heads straight for Phoebe. She scans the room and I know she is looking for me. She spots me and immediately turns her gaze back to Phoebe.

"What have you been up to?" she asks nonchalantly. I hear the undercurrent in her tone. S_he needs to know that I am ok._

"I know you've been calling Taylor and checking up on me periodically," I add.

"No matter what happens between us, I'll always love you. I always want to make sure you're ok. You're the father of my kids."

I snicker. _That doesn't feel like a real statement right now_."I've taken on a Sub," I blurt out. Why the fuck did I just go there with her? I _don't want to hurt her._

Her eyes shoot wide, "Oh."

"Yeah."

"I'm happy for you?" she says, her tone slightly bitter, "Why won't you date somebody real? You deserve better than that shit."

I just ignore her and continue to watch the crowd. She leans over and kisses my cheek, _keeping up appearances. _She walks away, her face sad.

The party wraps up and I am ready to leave. I am able to keep up a smile for my daughter, but I just can't deal with all of these people. I send Sasha a quick text.

_*Escala, 45 minutes, C.*_ She knows the implications. I have trained her.

I immediately delete the text and say goodbye to the rest of my family. By the time I am finished, Sasha has already left the party. For someone who acts like she doesn't give a shit about anything, she is always very eager to be in the playroom with me.

I drive back to Escala, pull up to my spot and see that Sasha's car is already in the guest spot. Every time I walk into this building, I can feel my shoulders become heavy, like the world is weighing down on me. I hate living here. I have never expected to hate living here this much.

"Your guest has arrived," Taylor says as I enter the apartment. I throw off my suit jacket and head for the playroom. I open the door and peek in to see Sasha ready and waiting. She is way too earnest. I turn back around to get changed and throw on my jeans for the playroom.

Suddenly I feel something weighing harder on my shoulders. It is like I have a backpack that I can't take off. I can't really breathe either. I ignore the pain and head back to the playroom.

The feeling gets worse as I move throughout the room, getting things ready for our scene. The weight becomes heavier and I feel darkness. I wasn't sure anyone was ever capable of feeling darkness, but I can feel it spread throughout my body. Despite the pain, I am able to get everything set.

As I turn to instruct Sasha to stand up, a black fog begins to build around her. _What the fuck is going on?_ I stand in my spot. I can't move. The fog gets larger and suddenly forms into the shape of a woman. It takes me a second to recognize the woman. She was my very first sub. She begins to walk and suddenly falls to the floor.

"I have come back for you master," she says as she bends into the submissive stance.

Suddenly, another cloud forms behind Sasha and my second submissive crawls out.

"I have come back for you master," my second sub says, bending into the submissive stance next to the first.

They all continue the same way, all bending and announcing they have returned for me. As they continue, the weight pushes down harder. I am to the point where I can't breathe. They continue to come and the weight becomes harder to bear.

As Susannah walks out, I see a stunning bright light move throughout the playroom. Sasha is still bent, waiting for my instructions. _What the fuck? How can Sasha not see this? _I suddenly make out the face of the light, it is Ana. She smiles at me and shakes her head at the dark figures kneeling before me.

"Come home. Now. Before it is too late," she instructs as she turns to walk out of the room.

"ANA!" I scream after her.

Suddenly, I feel pushed to the ground. The weight was gone in the presence of the light, but now it has returned in full force. As a new shadow crawls from behind Sasha, I try to move my head to see this new shadow.

"Oh dear God. Oh dear God NO! NO!" I scream. "Get the FUCK OUT!" I scream, "GET OUT NOW!"

Sasha is on her feet. "Christian, what's wrong?"

"NOW SASHA LEAVE FUCKING NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!"

She is in tears as she runs out of the room. The shadows won't leave. They are still kneeling before me. They need to get out of here. They need to get the fuck out.

"GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT," I scream but the shadows remain.

Leila's shadow sits up and stares at me, "Have we displeased master? We love master. Master is dark."

"NO!" I scream. I know what I need to do to get the shadows out.

**Ana's POV**

** "Gail," I scream, "Come quick. I just got a call from Taylor."**

"Is everything ok?" she asks, coming in from another room.

"Christian is on his way to the house… Something happened. Taylor described it as a rage stroke, I am not sure what that means, but he is on his way over here and he isn't himself. And Taylor said he was bleeding…." I say, barely able to get out the word "bleeding". Taylor sounded terrified on the phone, I have never heard him sound that scared before.

I run to the porch and wait for cars. Gail returns a second later and sets several towels down on a nearby chair.

"God, Phoebe was supposed to come over with Rhett tonight. Can you call and cancel for me?" I ask Gail. My whole body is shaking.

"Of course," she says as she walks back in the house. "Oh and Ana, Dr. West called for you while you were taking a bath."

"I'll call him back later," I say, my eyes never leaving the driveway. Five minutes later, Gail returns just as I hear screeching coming up the drive. Christian's R8 pulls up and he practically lunges from the car.

"Oh God, what happened?" Gail asks as we asses Christian. Blood is running down his arms, and he has a massive cut over his left eye. He is running for us. I meet him halfway and he catapults himself on me, almost knocking me down. He grabs on to my waist and rests his head on my stomach.

"My light. My light, I need my light," he rambles as he holds on to me. "Don't leave me, please don't leave me. My light, my beautiful light."

I grab the sides of his head and try to meet his gaze. He looks like a wounded animal that has been hunted, it devastates me.

"Christian what happened, tell me please." He shakes his head and I think he might cry. He continues to hold on to me for dear life.

Suddenly, I hear the SUV pull up and glide up the drive. Taylor and Sawyer both jump out and head toward the porch.

"Baby," I say into Christian's scared face, "We need to take you to the hospital so they can help you."

"Don't leave me."

"I am going to come with you. We are going to make sure you are ok." Gail begins to wrap his arms with the towels and we both begin to help him up. Taylor motions for me to talk to Sawyer and steps in my place to help.

"Ana has to come too," Christian says to Gail.

"We won't leave without her. She just needs to talk to Sawyer," Gail says to calm him. They wrap him in more towels and he lies down on the back seat.

"What happened," I ask Sawyer once the car door is shut.

"He destroyed the entire playroom."

I feel my jaw drop, "What do you mean by the entire playroom?"

"Ryan went to check it out after we left. He called us a second ago. Everything is destroyed."

"Everything?"

"Every-thing."


	14. A Flynnervention

**A/N – This is my last flashback chapter! The next chapter will present time for our characters! Thanks for reading and all your reviews! **

**Chapter 14 – A Flynn-ervention **

**Ana's POV**

** "Mrs. Grey, he is patched up, and he seems to have calmed down from his episode," the doctor says to me, "You said Dr. Flynn was on his way?"**

"Yes, he should be here any minute."

"After Flynn's analysis, he should be ok to go. Just a lot of cuts and bruises, nothing to be concerned about as far as his physical health," the doctor adds.

"Thank you doctor."

The doctor leaves and I am left with my estranged husband who is sleeping very peacefully. He calmed down once we brought him to the hospital and the doctors started cleaning his cuts. I haven't left his side since. He has been sleeping for a good two hours, and he doesn't seem like he is going to wake anytime soon.

I roll up a chair and sit next to him as he sleeps. I can't believe he is so peaceful after how at war he was with himself earlier. I gently run my hand through his hair. Even for an old man, Christian's hair is soft and beautiful. The grey hair has managed to make him even sexier than before.

"Knock, Knock," Flynn says as he enters. I tip toe over to John and we take residence by the door. "How is he doing?" he whispers, "Those cuts look serious."

"They look worse than what they are. He calmed down quite a bit after we brought him to the hospital and the doctor's patched him up with no problem. After the examination he fell fast asleep," I whisper back.

"Good, he needs it," Flynn says turning to me, "How are_ you?"_

"I'm good," I say as my default response.

"I hear congratulations are in order," Flynn says and I giggle softly at his angry tone. Alex told me about their conversation at the Gala many months back. I know Flynn hasn't been happy with either one of us since he found out about our relationship.

"I know you don't approve."

"You deserve better," he sighs, "But I must ask you something that I have been curious about." I nod.

"Despite the fact that he could get in a world of trouble if somebody found out, why haven't you told anyone about you and him? Especially if you are engaged to be married…"

"Phoebe's wedding. I don't want to take the spotlight off her. I've been married before, she hasn't. She deserves more attention," I answer unconvincingly.

"Ana," he presses.

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. "You want the truth?"

"Yes because I know Phoebe has nothing to do with this."

"Then why do you want me to tell you," I snap.

"Because I have a feeling you have been keeping it bottled up too long," he replies. _How does he know that?_

I feel a lump forming at the back of my throat and tears begin to prick at my eyes. "Because…" I begin, my emotions already getting the best of me, "Because then it would be real." I pause and he signals for me to keep going. I take in another deep breath, "If I told people: My family, my kids, people at work, it would make it real. By telling the world that I am no longer Mrs. Christian Grey, I am officially changing out one life for a new one."

"And you aren't ready."

I shake my head. I don't think I have ever vocalized this to anybody. Flynn can read me like a book. "I don't think I am ready to give up on him yet."

We both stare at Christian sleeping and I take reign of my emotions again. "So what are you going to do Ana?"

**Flynn gives Christian the "ok" to come home. **John will be checking in on him multiple times a day, every day. I decide to bring Christian back to the big house with me because I really don't want him at Escala by himself. We also have a lot of talking that needs to be done today anyway.

I help him bathe and finally get him into bed. He is acting like a child on cough syrup, very mellow and laid back. I don't think I have ever seen him this calm before. I assume his body is catching up on months of insomnia. I smile remembering how he only ever slept well with me.

"Are you going somewhere?" he asks when he sees the purse in my hands.

"I need to run a small errand, but I'll be back. You need to sleep then we need to talk," I say as his eyes light up.

"Talk?"

"Go to sleep and we can talk about it when you wake up."

He smiles his shy smile and my heart melts. "Come here," he says. I lean down. "Closer," he says, his smile getting bigger.

I lean down and lightly kiss his lips. "I've gotta go, laters baby."

**I stand outside Alex's apartment, debating in my head whether I want to do this or not. **Alex suddenly makes this decision for me. He swings open the door and smiles when he sees me.

"How long have you been standing here?" he asks, reaching for my hand.

"Not long," I lie.

"Right," he says, dragging me into his apartment with him, "Come on in baby. God, I've missed you. Phoebe needs to just elope in Vegas and get this wedding over with."

I pull my hand out from his hand. His face instantly fills with worry. He tries to pull me closer, but I pull away. "Ana," he asks softly, "What's wrong?"

I gulp. _Do it Ana_, it is just like ripping off a band aid. I go to my purse and immediately pull out the ring box. I quickly check to see if the ring is still in the box and finally hand it to him.

"Why are you giving me this?" he asks, sounding so very hurt.

"I am going to try to make it work with my husband."

He takes in a sharp breath and I know he is trying to hold his emotions together. "Why?" Alex asks. Flynn was the first person I have been honest to in almost a year, Alex will be the second.

"Because we are moving way too fast…"

He blanches. "We have been together for more than two years. You were with him for three months before you married him."

"And he has been a part of me for nearly 25 years, that isn't something I can just break," I say, finding my resolve. I knew this would be hard, but I had no idea it would be _this _hard. I love him, but it isn't enough.

"So after everything…" he says, his emotions visible.

I grab his face in my hands, "Our time together has been perfect. You helped me through a shitty part of my life, and you showed me how strong I could be and loved me when I haven't deserved it. This isn't fair, you have done so much when I have deserved so little."

"Don't talk about yourself like that," he says softly. Even when I am breaking up with him, he is still so sweet. "I love you Ana," he says with tears flowing down his cheeks.

"I love you too Alex," I say, meeting his lips with mine. He holds on to me as he deepens the kiss, he must be getting the last bit of me before I am gone.

I break free and we are both breathless. I immediately turn to the door as he stands and watches me leave. "Bye Alex," I say, holding back my tears.

"Bye Ana."

**I examine myself in the car mirror and prepare myself to go back into my house. **I am all cried out after seeing Alex and I have my list for Christian prepared and ready. When I walk to the kitchen, I smile when I see Gail and Christian chatting.

"Oh Ana," Gail says, "Dinner is ready, we were waiting on you."

"Thanks Gail," I say as I stroll in, "How are you feeling baby?"

"Much better," he says as Gail begins to serve out the lasagna, "I think I feel like myself again."

"Good, I'm glad," I say as I give him a small peck on the cheek.

After Gail serves our dinner, she grabs a plate for her and Jason and leaves us be.

"How was your errand?" Christian asks once Gail leaves the room.

"It was…" I say, trying to think of the right word, "Tough." He eyes me suspiciously. I quickly try to change topics; we have bigger fish to fry. "Are you going to tell me what your little episode was about last night?"

He pauses, "You were right when we spoke at the party. I shouldn't have ever gone back to that. I don't need it."

"What do you mean?"

He sighs, like he is going to regret telling me this. "I had my newest sub in my playroom last night before everything happened…."

"The 23 year old?"

He pauses, "How did you know she was 23?"

I close my eyes in defeat_, shit._ "Well, looks like the theme of today is honesty. I had Taylor spying on you."

His eyes grow wide, "You what?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok. That's all. You used to do that to me ALL the time," I add.

He snorts, "Yeah I guess." His face suddenly darkens, "Did Taylor give you any more details about her?"

"He never got a good glimpse of her. All he could see was that she was in her early twenties. He said you rarely brought her around the house staff," I add as I stick my dish in the dishwasher, "So what happened last night?"

"I really don't know. I was in the playroom with her and I couldn't breathe and I had visions of my former subs all coming back for me, and then suddenly you popped up…"

"I popped up?"

"You were my light in the darkness," he continues, "I felt like I was being crushed under the weight of all of it, and then there you were. You told me to come back home. So I did…"

"After a bit of remodeling," I add.

"For the exception of some of those sex toys, I am glad I did it. It has been a black hole in my life for too long. Actually, It feels like that whole fucking apartment is possessed," he says, shaking his head.

"So… are you ok?" I ask, placing my hand on top of his.

"I feel like myself again. I feel better actually. I'll be working with Flynn for a while and I am taking some time off work, but yeah, I think I am ok," he says with a smile.

I take in a deep breath, "Did you drop your contract with your sub?"

"Not officially, but I will. I don't think she'll be coming back for a while after what happened." We are silent for a moment and I think Christian is assessing my mood. I think he knows where I am going with this. "Where were you earlier?" he asks softly.

"I was giving Alex back his engagement ring."

His eyes go wide and a smile creeps across his face, "Really?"

"I realized that I am not done with you yet…" I say with a smirk. His smile matches mine.

"Are you sure you want _me_?" he asks, "Flynn called me bat shit crazy earlier today."

I laugh. "Damn, I think it is time to fire the overpaid charlatan." We both laugh loudly and I pull the list I created out of my purse. "I made a list of things that need to change if we are going to start over and try again."

He opens the paper and begins to read. He reads for several minutes, and finally his gaze meets mine again. "I can do all of this."

I smile and lean over for a kiss. "I only have one request of you," he says, his eyes serious.

"Shoot."

"I want you to cut off all contact with Alex. All of it."

I gulp and nod, "Ok."


	15. Spiraling out of control

**A/N – Let me clear something up from the last chapter (and I went back to edit this), Christian kept Sasha away from Taylor, Gail, and Sawyer as much as possible so Taylor was only able to gather that she was young. **

**Thank you again for all the reviews you have left! I am floored by how intense you guys are about this story – it is a writer's dream to have these kinds of reactions, so I thank you! **

**Last – for all of my "Alex and Sasha are working together" theorists, I am sorry to say that you may not be too fond of this chapter. lol**

**Chapter 15 – Spiraling out of control**

**Ana's POV – Present Day**

"**Mom," Phoebe yells at me from her seat, "Is Ted right? You slept with somebody? What the hell is going on?"**

My subconscious gives me that look. _Just tell them already, you have been lying to them for so long, they deserve the truth. _

"When does your plane leave?" I ask my daughter.

"We need to be leaving for the airport by 2," Rhett answers.

"Perfect. Come with me. Rhett, will it be ok if you stayed to wait for your parents?" He nods. "And can you not mention any of this to them, just say we are having a small family meeting." He nods again. My son-in-law is a man of few words.

Phoebe and Ted follow me upstairs, they both stay very quiet. When our elevator stops at the third floor, we are greeted by Nathaniel West.

"Ana!" Nate exclaims as he jumps on our elevator. A small red headed female follows behind him, I assume she is the newest Mrs. West. I have always liked Alex's younger brother Nate. He is only a few years older than Ted, and he is an exact replica of his older brother.

"Nate, it is really good to see you," I say as we embrace. I see that his new wife is not too pleased that Nate is hugging me.

"You must be Mrs. West," I say to the red head as she smiles.

"Sorry, I am so rude. Brooke, this is Ana. Ana, this is my wife Brooke," he says with pride in his voice, "Ana…. Oh gosh this is awkward… Ana dated my brother for a while. I guess you guys are no longer together."

I hear Ted quietly say "Oh" behind me and I can't see Phoebe's eyes, but I know they are wide and angry.

"Somebody needs to tell me what the HELL is going on before I lose my FREAKING mind!" she says, practically screaming in the cramped elevator. Our elevator stops at the eight floor and all three of us awkwardly get out.

"Bye Nate," I say before Phoebe practically drags me down to my room.

**I sent Christian a text message on our way up to my hotel room that said: **_***The kids want the truth, anything you want me to leave out***_

One minute later he responded: _*Tell them everything*_

_*Are you sure? You really want me to tell them everything?*_

_*Yes, it is time. I trust you.* _

After last night, the three words: "I trust you", fill me with a massive amount of guilt. I shake it off for the moment; Alex is a topic that will need to be discussed with him later.

Forty five minutes after we stepped off the elevator, the kids now know everything. I think the only thing I left out was that Sasha was Christian's submissive, he can explain that shit to them when he is ready. Both kids look like I hit them with a freight train.

"You guys are both really quiet, what are you thinking?" I ask as they both look at each other.

"Well I am trying to figure out who I am madder at," Phoebe says honestly.

"We've both earned it," I add, taking a seat.

Phoebe stands up, and I know she is angry. "I am mad at Dad for cheating on you. I am mad at you for dating somebody for two years and almost marrying him, I am mad at Dad for fucking my best friend, I am mad at you for sleeping your ex when you and Dad are supposed to be working things out. Actually mad doesn't accurately describe how I feel, I am full of rage," she finishes as she paces throughout my room.

"I wish sorry was an adequate word. This all started and we didn't want to tell you guys what was happening until we knew for sure, until we had permanent plans. Your father and I have been so hot and cold over the past three years, I didn't want to tell you something was life changing until I knew it actually meant something," I say trying to justify my actions, "I should have told you guys that we were permanently separated. The word separation seemed so temporary for us so I just always imagined it would be over eventually. This all just spiraled out of control."

All three of us get quiet. "So where do we go from here?" Ted asks.

Phoebe shakes her head, "I am going to go on my honeymoon with my husband and forget all of this shit happened."

"I think that's a good idea baby," I say, "I do think you need to call your Dad."

Her eyes go wide, "Hell no."

"Come on Phe," Ted encourages.

"NO," she says, stomping her foot, "You wouldn't be saying that if Dad had fucked your best girlfriend Ted. I don't care if Mom and Dad weren't together, that is disgusting. Dad is 54, she is 23, and I trusted them both with so much. Of all the people - he picked her. And then I had to hear all about it!"

A stray thought enters my mind. Christian told me Sasha signed an NDA. "How did you find out by the way?"

"Well, she told me story after story but never gave me any names. Then as everyone was about to go to sleep the night before the wedding, she asked me to grab her phone for her and call our friend Collette. Well I was slightly drunk and I accidently pressed Dad's number in her phone. After I heard Dad's voice, I forced Sasha to tell me everything."

I snort. I remember that random phone call Christian received in the middle of the night. I am very relieved that it was just Phoebe.

"Well if we are finished here, I am going to go," she says curtly, "I'll see you when Rhett and I get back."

I'll let her be mad at me, I deserve it. "Bye Baby, have fun." She exists and I am left with Ted.

"Mom, I'm sorry I brought up you sleeping with Alex. That wasn't right of me," he says. I run my hand through his copper hair.

"I probably deserved it."

"No you didn't. I shouldn't have blabbed like that," He says, "I guess I understand why you guys kept everything so secretive. It's not like this was insignificant news like 'oh hey I bought milk today at the supermarket', it is pretty intense stuff and you both were giving it the seriousness that it deserved."

I nod, "Well, I am glad you are being so forgiving today."

"Phe will come around. She learned a lot of information over the past hour. She'll go on her honeymoon with Rhett and when she comes back, she'll be calm."

"I sure hope so," I say softly.

"So…" Ted says, "You said you and Dad were trying to work things out. Is that over?"

I sigh, "God, I don't know."

"Well just know that whatever you decide and whatever happens between you and Dad, I'll always love you. You're my mom."

That might be the sweetest thing I have heard in a while. Tears begin to fall down my face, "Thank you baby."

**Phoebe and Rhett have finally left for their honeymoon and Ted decided he is going to fit in a quick trip to California. **I decide it is time to finally talk to Alex. I have no idea where this conversation will go, but it needs to happen.

When he answers the door, he of course is wearing only a towel. "Hi," he says mischievously.

"Go put clothes on, we need to talk."

"Yes ma'am," he says playfully as he walks to his suitcase. As a joke, he decides to drop his towel, exposing his beautiful behind.

I shield my eyes, "I mean it Alex. I'll step out if you can't behave yourself."

He picks his towel back up, "Fine. I'll go in the bathroom, but it is not like you haven't seen me naked before."

"That's beside the point, go change before I just decide to leave again for good."

His face suddenly gets very serious and he goes quickly to change. He re-appears in a T-shirt and jeans and takes a seat on the sofa.

"Shoot."

I prepare myself, "I want to make very clear that last night meant nothing. I was upset and I missed you and we had sex, it was nothing more than that."

His lips thin and he clenches his jaw. "Well, I am glad you can be so nonchalant about us."

"There is no such thing as us, Alex."

He scoffs, "So after last night, the electricity between us, are you just going to pretend like that isn't there? Are you going to pretend that we don't love each other and that I haven't done everything in my power to show you how much I love you? You are just going to ignore all of that?"

"I don't know! I don't fucking know! Ok? I am torn, but I promised him that I would come back to Seattle and talk to him about everything so that's what I am going to do," I blurt out.

He nods. "Ok," he says softly, "I can accept that. What do you think he is going to do when he finds out we had sex?"

"I have my own security detail. You probably should get one for yourself." He snickers.

After a moment he smiles up at me, "It was so good to see you. I haven't been this happy in weeks, and you look beautiful in blue."

"Oh yeah West," I say, eyeing him suspiciously, "Why the hell did you have this dress in your closet?"

He rubs his eyes and doesn't meet my gaze. "It is really pathetic, are you sure you want to know the truth?"

I laugh, "How pathetic?"

He sighs. "It smells like you," he says softly.

"What?" I say, failing to hide my smile.

He rolls his eyes, "I am not one of the weirdos who put puts clothes on a body pillow when they miss someone, but it sometimes helps me sleep, having your scent next to me. Remembering how beautiful you look wearing that dress. God, that is pathetic."

I smile and move his hands away from his face. "It's not pathetic, it is sweet."

I kiss him gently on the cheek and immediately exit his hotel room. I really need to pack up shop and head home. I have an important conversation with Christian awaiting me when I get there.


	16. Truth Be Told

**A/N – I have come to the realization that I TOTALLY messed up the timeline of this story. I typed it out so we can ALL be on the right track. Sorry about that! This timeline will go by each year of Phoebe's college life: Phoebe's First Year - Carrick passes at the beginning. Christian goes through a tough time with Ana. He begins his relationship with Emily around thanksgiving.**

**Phoebe's second year - Ana finds out about Emily about the time they send Phoebe off to school. They go through months of counseling. Ana meets Alex around October/ November. They begin a relationship in November. Christian and Ana go through the holidays. Christian finds Ana with Alex. Ted's graduation is in May. Alex tells Christian about his plans to marry her.**

**Phoebe's third year - Phoebe gets engaged, September/Octoberish - Christian finds out about Ana's engagement. He starts his Dom/Sub relationship with Sasha. Christian carries on with the relationship for months, and Phoebe has her engagement/wedding party in April. Christian breaks down and asks for Ana to come back. May - Phoebe gets married, Present day**

**So this has really gone on for only three years –not 3 ½ or 4! Sorry for the mess up! But it is good to write that all out so hopefully we will all be on the same page! I'll go back and edit the other chapters later when I have the time. **

**Chapter 16 – Truth be told **

** As I pull up to the house, Christian is already waiting on the front porch. **As I walk up, I notice a pile of ashes in the middle of the circle drive in front of our house.

"What is that?" I ask as I walk closer to him, "Did you start a fire while I was gone?"

"Yeah," he says nonchalantly, "I just needed to get rid of some unnecessary paper work." I notice a small file folder on his lap.

"What's that?"

He smirks, "Your background check."

"You still have it?" I laugh.

"I had all of them up till yesterday," he says as a realization hits me.

"You burned all of the contracts, background checks…"

"I kept the NDAs."

"Well of course, but you got rid of all of them, but mine?"

"I thought it was fitting after I destroyed the playroom," he says, looking up into my eyes. I take a seat next to him. It feels foreign sitting with him after this short amount of time apart. So much has happened in the last couple of days, I have barely been able to keep my head straight.

"By the way, Phoebe told me that Sasha never directly told her about your relationship. She said that Phoebe was trying to make a call on Sasha's phone the night before the wedding and she accidently dialed your number…" I tell him, "Sasha left all the stories she told Phoebe nameless. So she never directly implicated you." I can't hide the contempt in my voice.

"That explains that random call from her in the middle of the night. God, I can't believe that was Phoebe," he says running his hands through his hair.

Gail suddenly appears with a tray of hot tea. "Welcome home Ana, how was the wedding?"

"Eventful," I add and she smiles sadly. She gives us each a cup and quickly departs.

"So…" he says, turning to me, "How are the kids? How bad is the damage?"

I sigh, "Phoebe is still really mad after hearing everything. I think that girl is mad at the world right now. She is_ really _mad at you."

"Damn, that girl has a temper."

"I wonder where she got it from," I snap back and Christian smiles. "Ted is taking it better than I expected, but I don't think he is ready for us to be one big happy family anytime soon."

"I need to call both of them," Christian says softly and I know he is already thinking of a plan in his mind.

"I would maybe make first contact with Phoebe during her honeymoon but only once – even if it is just a voicemail," I offer advice, "Show her that you care about her but you aren't nagging and then call her again and try to see her when she returns."

He nods, "That's good, I will try that at the end of the week."

"Ted, give him 3-4 days or so. Give him time to breathe a little bit."

"Good, thank you," he says softly, "So what about you?"

"I think the kids are ok for right now so I am ok."

"I already asked about the kids, I want to hear about you," he says, searching my face for any indication of how I am feeling. _Dear God_, what do I tell him?

"I am not sure how I am feeling," I say honestly, "A lot has happened and I don't think I can even think straight right now."

"How are you feeling about me," he asks cautiously.

I snort, "I just don't know."

"I know you aren't happy with me. I am not happy with me. You saw how bad things were, I was in an awful place. I can't believe I was so careless," he says, "I want to keep working on us. I don't want us to stop. We were doing so well before the wedding, I want to recapture that."

Tears begin to fall down my face as something that has been bothering me for years tries to creep through to the surface. "Will I ever be enough?"

"What?" Christian says. His face is in shock.

"I saw Emily, I have seen Sasha. They have amazing bodies. I can't compete with them. Am I always going to be compared to them?" I ask, tears falling down my face.

He shakes his head, obviously disgusted with himself, "I will spend my entire life making up for my mistakes. I can't believe I ever made you feel like that."

My tears won't stop. He pulls me to him and we lay together on the patio chair. After my tears subside, we peacefully absorb the beautiful evening at our home.

"Escala has been sold," he says as he strokes my hair, "The remaining items that were left are sitting in the house."

"Good," I sniffle, "I can't believe it's gone."

"I am glad. We had good memories there, but we have had more bad then good. I am for one glad to see it go."

I lean over and take a sip of my tea and I quickly lay back down next to him. It feels nice after all the chaos to enjoy some peace and quiet.

After a few more moments of peace, I realize that I can't stay like this. There is a 6 foot tall blonde elephant in the room and I can't ignore him.

I sit up suddenly and Christian watches me with weary eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I need to tell you something."

He closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath, "What?"

"I slept with Alex," I say as he blanches. His eyes are closed, and he seems to be trying to control his breathing.

"Christian." I say after a moment of his silence. "Christian?" I ask after more silence passes. His eyes finally open and I see nothing but pain. His devastation makes me want to shrivel up and die.

"I'm sorry," is all I can say through my reappearing tears, "All of this is just so fucked up. I just am not myself right now."

He blanches again and closes his eyes, "Are you even in this with me?"

"Of course I am," I say, almost shouting. He gets up suddenly and walks to the other side of the porch.

"Don't tell me something that isn't true just to spare my feeling. Are you in this with me? Do you want us to work?"

I realize how similar this conversation is to the one we had when all of this shit began with us. I was doubtful that Christian wanted our marriage to work. Now I am asking those questions for myself.

"Baby, I will fight for you if you want me to fight for you. I can forgive what happened if it was a momentary lapse in judgment because you know I have had them. I can't fight for you if you don't want to be fought for. I don't want you to stay with me out of duty."

My tears fall down my face and move down my neck as I stare out in the distance. "I just don't know anymore."

He comes back and sits down next to me. "You love him," he says, his voice barely a whisper.

"No," I say, tears falling harder down my face.

At this point, he is crying too, "You are drawn to him. He can give you everything I can't."

"No."

"Stop saying no, you know it's true. I have fucked up with you more times than I can count. I have made you doubt yourself, made you think less of yourself. I have never wanted that for you, he would never do that to you," he says as both of our tears fall harder, "You deserve to be happy. You deserve for him to love you."

"Christian," I say in a sob.

"I want you to really think about this Ana," he says through his tears, "If your choices didn't hurt anybody. If you could make the choice that you wanted without anybody else getting in the way, what choice would you make?"

My heart hurts as I realize the answer to that question.

**Phoebe's POV**

** As soon as Rhett pulls up to our apartment, I get a call from Ted. **"I just got home. Can you give me a second?"

"Have you talked to Mom or Dad?" Ted asks urgently.

"Dad tried to call me on my honeymoon but I ignored him," I say, handing Rhett my suitcases. He pretends like he is carrying something excruciatingly heavy and I laugh.

"Mom called me a couple minutes ago and asked we meet them at the house today as soon as possible, she sounded serious," he says and I roll my eyes. I am still so annoyed with both of my parents that I don't even want to go.

"Fine," I say annoyed, "I'm on my way to the house. Call mom and let her know."

** I left Rhett at home to unpack our suitcases and to start putting away wedding presents. **Ted is waiting for me in the driveway and quickly walks over to me.

"I am really nervous Phe," he says as we both make our way to the front door.

"Why?" I ask.

"Something just doesn't feel right."

As we walk in, Gail directs us to the family room. Mom and Dad are seated on the couch waiting for us.

"Hey honey, welcome back. Take a seat," Mom says, pointing to the two open seats. Once we are seated, Mom looks over at Dad and then turns her gaze back to us. Dad looks mad about something. I suddenly get as nervous as Ted.

"Your father and I wanted you guys to come over because we have something we need to tell you…."

Mom looks back at Dad and he still looks so mad. She turns back to us and attempts a smile. Mom's smile doesn't seem normal at all, it seems very robotic. _Shit, what is going on?_ I look over at Dad and I realize his expression isn't one of anger, he is so clearly upset. _Oh god, what is going on?_

"We wanted to tell you both in person that your father and I….." she says, trying to compose herself, "….Are getting a divorce."

**A/N 2 – I tried to do this discussion justice, I wanted it to be as real as I could make it, and I hope it worked! Ok, I also felt the need to add this before I get mountains of hate mail – THIS IS NOT OVER. We are not done! There is a lot of life left to live with these two so please stick with me. I need faith and patience…. I think I remember somebody else asking for that before ;-). **


	17. The Female Christian Grey

**A/N – Thank you guys for the comments! Thank you for sticking with me, it is not over between these two so I am happy many of you are placing your faith in me!**

**All of my Alex haters will REALLY enjoy this chapter :)**

**Chapter 17 – The Female Christian Grey**

**Phoebe's POV**

** "Ted," I say as my older brother picks up his phone. **

"Phoebe," he says, mocking my tone.

"This isn't funny, I just got a call from Mom," I bark at my brother.

"Yeah, she called me too. I am glad we are having dinner together one last time before I move to Malibu," he says and I groan.

"She is bringing HIM," I hiss, "I don't want to go to dinner with him. I don't want anything to do with him."

"I know this situation with Mom and Dad sucks, but I want you and Rhett to be there. Especially since Dad has to work," he says.

"Dad has to work?"

"That's what Taylor said when I called," Ted says, sounding frustrated. I can't imagine how awkward it would be to have Mom and Dad in the same room together. It would of course be especially worse to have Mr. Casanova thrown into the mix. "Please Phoebe, just come to dinner."

"Fine, but you owe me Ted."

**Ana's POV**

** "Mrs. Grey," my assistant Celeste says over the line, "I have Dr. West is on the phone for you."**

For the exception of Celeste, Alex will be my first form of human contact today. People at work have read my mood for the last couple of months and know things aren't well with Mr. Grey. I have decided to move into full blown 'hermit' mode. I can't deal with the human population right now.

"Send him through," I say to Celeste.

"Hey baby, how's your day been," Alex says and I smile slightly.

"It's been a day," I say to him.

"It will get better, I promise," Alex says sadly to me, "Change of topic – we need to talk about dinner tonight. You got in so late last night and left so early this morning, we haven't had a chance to talk."

"What do you want to talk about specifically?"

"Well for starters, I was kind of hoping you could send my doppleganger instead."

I laugh, "It might be hard to find a 6 foot blonde Caucasian male with blue eyes and an athletic build."

"You're joking right? Listen, you don't even have to look. I'll find one, I'll send him in my place, and your kids will never know the difference. Just don't kiss him at the end of the night…"

"That would be a great plan IF Ted didn't already know what you looked like... Alex are you terrified to meet my kids?"

"No!" he scoffs, "Ok, maybe a little bit."

"I know this seems a little intimidating," I say, trying to calm him down, "But if you want us to go further…"

"And I do."

"Then they need to know who you are… if you want a future with me, you'll need to pass the "Do Phoebe and Ted like me" test."

He sighs, "Ok, I am just kind of nervous."

"If all else fails, I'll let you and Rhett hang out while I deal with Phe and Ted. He doesn't talk much so he should be less intimidating company," I say as he laughs.

"Ok, be home around 5, don't be late Ana."

"I promise."

I hang up with Alex and sift through my emails and my voice mails. I want to cry as I hear voicemails from Mia, and Grace; I can't deal with them right now. It might have hurt the most to tell those two about the divorce. I felt like I was disappointing them because I feel like I failed Christian. I feel like I failed a lot of people.

Kate wasn't as upset about it, but it is hard to be upset about miniscule things when you are a World Reporter and in a constant stream of potential danger. How her and Elliot have managed to deal with the distance, I'll never know.

I almost let my sorrows take me hostage when I hear a small tapping at my door. "Hello in here," Kourtney says and I smile.

"Is this my first meeting with my editor?" I gasp and she laughs.

"It is! And I have some good news," she says as she takes a seat.

"I would kill for some good news right about now," I say as she slams my work on my desk.

"We are sending it to print."

"REALLY?" I gasp.

"I'll need you to spend the rest of the day with the illustrator, but we are printing your work! This stuff is really good Ana."

Tears fall down my face as Kourtney laughs. _It feels so good to get good news again._

**Phoebe's POV**

**"Quit sulking," Rhett whispers to me. **

"I am not sulking," I pout. Rhett scoots over my untouched glass of water.

"You've only been drinking wine since we got here. Please drink some water," Rhett insists.

"Mom just sent me a text," Ted says, reading his phone, "She'll be here with Alex in about 2 minutes."

"We always used to come to Canlis with Mom and Dad," I pout again, trying to hold back tears.

"I thought you were mad at Dad," Ted points out.

"I am," I say, taking a sip of my water, "You haven't told me Ted, what is this guy like? You've met him and I haven't heard anything about him besides the fact he was mom's shrink."

He thinks for a second. "He is like a blonde Don Draper, you know from the show Mad Men? He drinks Old Fashioneds and dresses well."

"So basically he is Dad," I say.

"Yeah, I guess," he nods sadly.

"I don't understand why Mom had to run out and get a younger version of Dad."

"I don't understand why Dad had to run out and get a younger version of Mom," Ted snaps back.

I turn to my husband, "Sorry you married into such a fucked up family."

"Eh," Rhett says, "My life is never boring with you baby." _I love him_. I don't ever want us to turn into my parents.

"They're here," Ted says as I peak my head up from the table.

First enters Mom, and I know she hasn't been sleeping well. She under did her makeup and the bags under her eyes are noticeable. I really need to teach Mom how to apply make up to herself one of these days.

Next enters Alex. He has his hand on her lower back and whispers something in her ear. _Oh Damn_, he is really sexy. I can see his abs through his shirt and it is obvious that the man is ripped.

"Hi guys, sorry you beat us," Mom says as she walks up to the table, "Time for introductions - Ok Alex you know Ted. The lovely young man sitting next to him is my son-in-law Rhett, and this beautiful mini me is my daughter Phoebe."

"Hey Ted," he says shaking Ted's hand. "Rhett," Alex says, moving down the table. "Phoebe, it is an honor. I swear. You look just like your mother."

I size him up, "My mother just said that, but thanks for being her parrot."

Three sets of eyes widen and turn to me. Alex laughs awkwardly, "Well you look like your mother and you have her ball busting wit. I may have my work cut out for me tonight." He takes a seat and everyone takes in a deep breath.

The waiter comes by and takes our drink orders. After the waiter leaves, the boys talk about Ted's law school and Rhett's job with the Mariners. Mom eyes me suspiciously as they talk, but I turn away from her gaze.

"You are a Yankees fan?" I blurt out during their discussion.

Alex eyes me nervously, "Yes, I grew up in New York. I hope you don't hold it against me Rhett."

Rhett laughs, "Makes sense."

"Yeah, makes a lot of sense," I scoff. If Mom ever introduced him to Ray, he would bust his ass for being a fucking Yankees fan. Grandpa raised me right.

Everyone at the table stares me down, hoping I don't continue into any sort of tirade.

"So Phoebe…" Alex says nervously, "Your mom tells me you are starting your senior year at U Dub." I think he is afraid of me a little bit. The thought makes me smile.

"Yeah…" I say unenthusiastically, leaving him hanging. He nervously turns to Mom who is staring me down angrily. Calm down Anastasia, I don't love your boyfriend, deal with it.

The food arrives and everyone begins to eat. Alex continues his conversation with Ted and Rhett and ignores me. I have had enough of him ignoring him. I think he needs to be messed with a little bit.

"So Alex," I say, "You've been married before?"

"Phoebe, I don't think that's appropriate dinner conversation," Mom jumps in.

"Mom, if I want to get to know my potential step Dad, these are questions I need answered. I mean, I need to know if I'll potentially get any step brothers or step sisters," I say in pretentious tone.

Alex jumps to my defense, "She has a point. I was married once Phoebe, but we didn't have any kids."

"Why not?"

"Phoebe, stop." Mom pleads.

"Children weren't something I wanted. My wife at the time wanted kids, so we divorced."

I scoff, "What kind of person doesn't want kids? That seems pretty selfish to not ever want kids."

"Phoebe," Mom repeats.

"Well Phoebe, not everyone is the same," Alex adds.

"So you want women who don't have a desire to have any more children. I don't know Alex, who do we know who could potentially fit that category? Maybe middle aged women who are going through a divorce, those types seem like fun to prey on."

My Mom's jaw is on the ground, "Phoebe Grace."

"Baby stop, please," Rhett pleads from my side.

I don't stop. I am not done eviscerating Mr. Casanova yet. "Because let me tell you something Dr. West, once my parents are done acting like petulant children, they are going to find each other again. My mom is going to realize that you are nothing but a young, blonde, manipulative little weasel. How someone hasn't turned you in yet for ethical violations is beyond me. You are disgusting. My Dad may have made some stupid decisions in the past, but he is not a vile piece of shit like you."

"Alex, go to the car. I need to speak with my daughter," Mom cuts in.

I huff and shake my head at her. Alex quickly gets up and grabs the keys. "Can we go with you?" Ted yells after him.

"What do you think you are doing?" Mom yells.

"He is an asshole Mom. I didn't want to eat with him but you forced me."

"You don't even know him Phoebe, that is why I brought him here so you could meet him," Mom says, her teeth clenched.

"I know enough, "I snap. Mom shakes her head in distress and rubs her eyes. She suddenly looks very tired. "Mom stop this. Go back to Dad. You guys haven't signed any paperwork yet. Please, just try it again with him."

I think she might cry, "I have tried so many times already. I can't do it again; I need to be stronger if I go back to him. Right now, I am just so lost." She has never shared this much with me before.

"I don't think jumping into another relationship will help that. I think you need time alone."

Mom looks up at me, eyes in pain, "If I have time by myself, I may break further." I suddenly feel bad for eviscerating Alex, but I just hate them together.

"Mom, I leave for Malibu on Sunday night. I'll come see you Sunday during the day," Ted says, grabbing her hand.

"That sounds good, thanks baby."

She hugs all three of us and eventually leaves the restaurant. An idea springs to mind. I jump to my phone and call Taylor.

"Hey Taylor, is Dad still working?"

"Your father is in bed," Taylor says wearily.

"Asleep? It is 9 o clock, Dad would never be in bed right now," I say in shock.

I hear Taylor swallow deep, "Your Dad hasn't left his room for days. Gail checks up on him, but he never leaves."

If Mom is distressed, Dad is probably at Defcon 1. "Taylor, I will be there as soon as possible."

Ted looks over at me suspiciously, "Where are you going?"

"We need to go take care of Dad."

"I thought you were still pissed at him after what happened with Sasha." It suddenly hits me that I have ignored Dad's calls all summer.

"Have you talked to Dad at all Ted?"

"No…"

Tears begin to fall down my face, "I don't care about stupid fucking Sasha anymore. He needs me. I need to take care of my Daddy."


	18. Role Reversal

**A/N – Based on your comments on that last chapter (holy crap, they were all over the place lol), I felt the need to get this new chapter out fast. It is going to be shorter, but I felt like a lot of you needed more answers and more justifications. Thanks again for your reviews, they are a riot. Also sorry for any Yankees fans I offended; your author is a diehard Rangers fan :) **

**Also, check the footnote out from the second paragraph! lol**

**Chapter 18 – Role Reversal**

** "Did you really have to yell at him like that," Ted scolds as we drive to the big house, "Sometimes I just want to duct tape your lips together."**

"Scold me all you want, but I think Mom deserves better. I hate that he took advantage of her like that. She is in a rough spot! If the roles were reversed and Dad was the one being seduced by someone so manipulative then I would beat that bitch down too." *****

He groans, "All she is trying to do is find someone after what happened with Dad. All you did was make her more upset. The message you're sending is you love and support Dad more than Mom. Mom didn't do anything to you, remember? That was Dad." I instantly feel terrible. I don't ever want to upset Mom.

"I'll call Mom and apologize."

"Thank you. You are so stubborn sometimes," he gripes, "So again, I thought you were mad at Dad after sleeping with Sasha. Why are we going over to the house to help him?"

"He doesn't have anybody, Ted. Mom has Alex. Dad needs somebody."

"Dad has Taylor and Gail and Grandma and Aunt Mia and Uncle Elliot…."

"That's not the point!"

"Get to your point then!"

"I hate Mom. I hate Dad. I love Mom. I love Dad. I hate Alex. I hate Sasha. Is that clear?" I ask and he groans again, "I just hate the thought of Dad by himself while all this is happening. Taylor said he hasn't left the house. He has probably been like this all summer. It just breaks my heart. He needs me. I have ignored his calls and pleas to see me all summer. Our parents didn't raise us to be vindictive people. My Dad needs me."

Suddenly, I burst into tears and both Ted and Rhett look at me with surprise. "What is wrong baby, you have been all over the place tonight?" Rhett asks bemused

"I'm fine," I say, wiping back my tears.

We pull up to the house and we head up to the porch. "Hi guys," Gail says when she sees us, "What do we owe the honor?"

"I want to check on Dad."

She smiles sadly, "He is up in his room."

I race up the stairs and walk to the master bedroom. "Daddy?"

"Phoebe," Dad mutters. His voice is very hoarse.

I flip on the side light and the room is a mess. He is obviously resistant to Gail cleaning anything. Dad is sprawled out on the bed, in his PJs, and his hair is long and messy. He looks like he hasn't shaved in weeks and his eyes look so weak. "Dad are you ok?"

"Yeah…" he says like nothing is wrong, "Your old man was just trying to get some sleep."

Dad never sleeps. This is a problem. I walk over and kneel by his bed. It is obvious he needs a bath and a good shave.

"Dad, how about a bath?"

"I smell like roses," he jokes and I giggle.

"If the roses were grown in a garbage dump, then sure you smell like roses."

He chuckles, "What are you doing here?"

"I am here to take care of you silly."

His eyes widen in shock, "Did Gail call you?"

"No, Dad. I was taught by my parents that when people we love are going through tough times, we take care of them."

"But after everything…"

"I am by no means happy with you or in any type of mood to forgive you. But at the end of the day, you are my Dad and I love you. No matter how fucking angry you make me, I'll always love you," I say as tears well up in my eyes again.

"Don't cry sweetie."

"Sorry, I have been doing that a lot lately. Ted and Rhett are downstairs, if I don't hear the water running in 5 minutes; I am sending them both up here to force you in."

He snickers, "You sure are bossy."

"And you smell." He gives me a weak smile.

I walk downstairs and Ted, Rhett, Gail, and Taylor are waiting in the kitchen. "How long has he been that bad?"

"He has progressively gotten worse since the announcement of the divorce but it has been that bad since after you ignored his fifth phone call…" Gail says softly.

"Why didn't you call me? I would have come over if I had known," I say sadly.

"He pleaded with us not to. _He Pleaded_. He said he already messed up too badly with you and that he deserved it."

I run my hands through my hair and sigh, "Has he been going to work?"

"He goes every once in a while when they need him there, but most of the time he works from home and I bring him food while he works on his laptop," Gail answers.

"Wait, sorry to interrupt Gail, but have you guys heard the water?"

The boys and Gail all shake their heads. I walk over to the bottom of the stairs. "Christian Grey, if I do not hear the water running in 1 minute I am sending Rhett and Ted up there to force you in the damn shower," I scream. Mom used to stand there and yell at Ted and me whenever we were running late for school. Suddenly, I hear the water turn on.

I come back and look at Rhett. I have an idea, but I know he isn't going to like it.

"What?" Rhett groans.

"We have an extra room in our apartment."

"No!" Rhett groans again.

"Dad bought us that apartment anyway, it is massive. It is big enough for Dad to have his own side."

"No Phoebe!"

"Rhett, he needs someone to watch over him… no offense Gail."

"No, I agree," she replies.

"Just for a trial basis, please Rhett. You didn't see what I just saw up there. He needs somebody who cares for him who isn't paid to care for him. Once he gets on his feet. It is either that or we move in here with him…."

"Phoebe, if I can interject," Gail jumps in, "I don't think moving in is a good idea. You just got married and you have school starting soon. Maybe there can be another plan because I think you are on the right track."

**After he finishes his shower and get dressed, Rhett and Ted makes sure he shaves and I try to get some cleaning done. **

"Guys, while I appreciate the concern, I am not an invalid."

"We just want to make sure you are ok," Ted says as I make some last minute touches to his bedroom.

He takes a look at my handiwork and sighs, "Why are you guys here?"

"I already told you, we want to make sure you are ok," I say as I put the last bit of his clothes in the hamper.

"But I…. but I…. but I…. "

"We aren't happy with you, but that doesn't mean we haven't stopped caring. Now sit down, Phoebe needs to talk to you," Ted says gently as Dad takes a seat on the newly made bed.

"Ok, Rhett and I have decided that we are going to stay here at the house with you on the weekends. I am also going to stay Tuesday and Thursday nights. I have night class those nights and the house is closer to U Dub then our apartment."

"No." Dad insists, "You aren't changing your lives for me."

"Well, I really don't think you have a choice in the matter. I am not a kid; I can do what I want," I say, not backing down.

"I am fine, Phoebe really."

"Really because I have a mile of proof to prove you otherwise," I snap. I can see him war with himself over the idea. I walk over and hug him, taking him by surprise. "Dad, let us help you. We love you," I whisper in his ear.

I feel the tears falling from his eyes and I hold him while he cries. "I am sorry, I am so sorry Phoebe."

I begin to cry for the third time tonight. "I know Daddy, I know."

I pull away and meet his gaze, "Rhett and I will see you tomorrow night. We would stay tonight but I don't have any clothes here that fit me anymore." I kiss him on his forehead and head for the door. Ted walks over and gives him a quick hug too.

He shakes his head in wonder, "I don't deserve either of you."

"Of course you don't," I say as he laughs.

**I hate that I am doing this. **I really hate Alex. I knock and brace myself. I need to do this; I was such a bitch to him. Alex answers the door and looks shocked to see me.

"Hi Phoebe, your mom isn't here."

"I know, she is spending the day with Ted. I actually came to talk to you." He looks shocked, but lets me in.

"What do I owe the honor?" he asks, "Would you like anything to drink?"

"No, I'm fine. I just wanted to come over and apologize for my actions at dinner Friday night."

He looks shocked again. "Thank you, but that's not necessary. I understand that you are protective of your Mom. I appreciate that."

"Good because I also came over here to warn you."

"Warn me?"

"I still don't trust you. I think you are an opportunist and I am watching you."

He stares me down, "Ok. Is that everything?"

"I just wanted you to know that you aren't off the hook. You still need to prove yourself."

"Fine," he says curtly, "But I must tell you that I love your mother and I wouldn't dream of hurting her."

"Good, then we won't have any issues…"

***** I would have loved to see this version of Phoebe fight Elena. Just saying….


	19. Big News

**A/N – Ok so this chapter, the plot really picks up! I am really stoked to see what you guys think! I probably won't have time to get anything more out till the weekend! Sorry! **

**Thank you for your reviews!**

**Chapter 19 – Big News**

**Ana's POV**

** I can't deal with anybody else at work today. **I make the executive decision to get some work I can do at home and forget about the rest of the world. As I turn the key to Alex's apartment, I hear Alex moving around inside. _What is he doing home so early?_

"Hey baby," he says as he greets me at the door, "What are you doing home so early?"

"I was about to ask you the very same thing," I say as we kiss.

"I had a client cancel on me the last minute," he says as he kisses me one more time, "What about you?"

I sigh, "I couldn't deal with the human population anymore today."

He kisses me a third time, "It will get better. I promise. When Ashley and I divorced, I was miserable. It isn't easy when a relationship is over, but you'll be fine baby."

I wrap my arms around him, "I hope you're right."

"I am… Enough with talk of our exes because right now I would really like to throw you down on that bed and go to town on you."

I giggle, "You're such a romantic Alex."

**We both try to catch our breath as we come down from our climax. **

"You are amazing," he says as he kisses both of my breasts reverentially.

"You aren't so bad yourself," I say as he smiles.

He sighs, "I have a question for you, but you can't get mad."

"Geez Al, way to start off your question."

He laughs, "I just need to ask you a question about these." He holds on to my breasts to show that they are his chosen topic of conversation.

"What about them…."

"Remember we said that we wanted to be honest with each other always…"

I sigh, "Just get on with it. I think I know where you are going with this, and I'll try not to get mad."

"Ok, now you are a woman in your 40's and you have given birth to two kids. You are beautiful and I wouldn't change a damn thing. I just figured that your breasts would be much… saggier then they are."

"Oh dear Lord, are we really having this conversation in bed," I groan.

"I shouldn't have asked…" he says as I sigh.

"Fine, I'll tell you. I had a breast lift."

His jaw drops, "Really?"

"After I had Phoebe, I hated the way I looked. Christian promised me that I looked beautiful and I shouldn't be so insecure, but I was. So when Phoebe started Kindergarten and Ted was in 2nd Grade, I convinced Christian to let me get a breast life," I explain, "I am going to kill you for making me share all of that."

"I am surprised he allowed that, he is a control freak," he says as I laugh.

"It took me a while to convince him that it was a good idea, and after I got it done, he didn't really complain much," I say as he laughs.

"Yeah I don't blame him. Well thank you Christian Grey for funding my favorite part of your body," he says kissing them both again, "Now how about round 2."

"We have dinner at your brother and your sister-in-law's house tonight," I point out as he reins kisses down my stomach.

"We can be late."

**I feel immediately relaxed at Nate and Brooke West's home. **They are both really sweet and welcoming people. It is sweet how Nate looks up to Alex and it is obvious they have a wonderful brotherly bond. I sometimes wish Ted could have had a little brother just so he could have a relationship like Alex and Nate's.

"I am so glad you are back Ana," Nate says as we clink wine glasses, "This one was going out of his mind without you."

"Really, out of your mind?" I say as I stroke Alex's face.

"My little brother LOVES to exaggerate," Alex says petulantly. I give him a small peck on the cheek and he smiles.

"Well, I am glad to be back, but I am sad you and Brooke are moving," I say turning to read Alex's expression. Alex's face darkens, I know he must hate that Nate is moving so far.

"Dad needs someone to take over our bookstore and restaurants in London. They have been in the family for years and Dad is getting way too old to handle it," Nate says, pouring another glass of wine for me.

"So wait, you grew up in New York, but your Dad lives in London?" I ask.

Alex clarifies, "Our mother was an American and she was originally from Brooklyn. She was studying abroad in Oxford and when they traveled to London one weekend, she met my Dad. They fell in love and she stayed to be with him. When my Mom was still pregnant with me, her and my Dad came back to New York, got married, and my grandfather ran the bookstore and started the restaurants. They divorced when she was pregnant with Nate and Dad went back to Europe and he has lived there since."

"He really needs the help," Nate adds, "After he took over the businesses, they really grew and so he has so much on his hands right now."

"That is a really cool family history," I add, "And god, I would kill to own a bookstore in London. That is the dream."

Alex and Nate exchange glance and Nate smiles at me. "Maybe I'll have to get my big bro to bring you for a visit."

"Yes Ana," Brooke adds, "I would love that."

**Alex's POV**

** As Brooke and Ana chat on the balcony, Nate takes a seat next to me at the dining room table. **"It is good to see you happy again Al," Nate says, grasping on to my shoulder, "Ana is fantastic, Dad will love her."

I sigh as I take in another glimpse of Ana on the balcony. "I am afraid it may not last too much longer."

"Have you told her?" Nate asks and I shake my head.

"I haven't found the right time. I need to soon or she'll lose it that I have kept it from her," I say with a sigh.

"You also need to tell her about my offer," Nate adds, "I think she'll love the idea."

"Are you kidding me?" I scoff, "Her life is in Seattle. Her kids are here, her job is here, and she would never leave all of this for me."

"You told me yourself that she has had so little time to travel the world. You said she has always wanted the opportunity. You saw how she reacted to the idea of running the bookstore. If you both come with Brooke and me to London, this will be her opportunity. Brooke and I can't handle it alone, we will need help. Especially now that Dad's health is getting worse, we'll need back up," he says, "And besides, her kids are adults. It is not like they are babies, they are both my age."

"I just don't think she'll go for it."

"Do you have any other choice?" Nate asks and I know he is right.

"Fucking Flynn. In a community this rich, word of mouth is everything. He has told every fucking person about what happened with Ana and I and my clients are dropping like flies. I am just waiting for the phone call from the ethics board. When I have to meet with them, I am fucked," I say, running my hands through my hair.

"Come to London," he says like it is just so easy, "Bring Ana with you. Start fresh. She needs it too."

**Ana's POV**

** "Tonight was so much fun," I say happily as we walk back into the apartment, "Your brother and Brooke are great."**

"Well I think you're pretty great too." he says as he leans in for a kiss. Suddenly his happy expression darkens, "Hey sit down for a sec. I need to talk to you about something."

"Ok," I say as I sit down on the sofa.

He looks so nervous, "So you know how Nate and Brooke are moving to London to help Dad out."

"Yes, I think I remember that part of the evening…"

"Well Nate has asked me to come with them, they can't do it alone."

_Oh. _"What about your job?" He sighs and runs his hands through his hair, and it suddenly hits me. "You have been home a lot lately, are you losing clients?"

"Flynn has told everybody about us and now nobody wants to work with me."

I want to cry. "This is all my fault."

He shakes his head adamantly, "No, do not blame yourself for this. This is all on me."

"I ran you out of a job."

He sighs and grabs my hands, "Stop it Ana. I would lose a million more jobs just to have you in my life. I don't regret a second. I love you."

"But what about us? We can't continue if you live on another continent."

He swallows and I know what he is about to say. "I want you to come with me."

"Are you serious?" I shriek, "What about my kids? My job?"

"Nate wants to give you sole ownership of the bookstore. He is much more of a food service guy anyway."

_Oh my, running a bookstore in London?_ That would be amazing. I am stunned.

"We could both start over Ana," he says meeting my gaze, "I love you so much, please come with me to London, please baby."

**Phoebe's POV**

** "I am what?" I ask the doctor again. **I threw up in my first class this morning so I decided to visit the campus doctor. The class I puked in was a sophomore economics class that I put off to my senior year so I doubt I am missing much.

"Mrs. Earnhardt, it looks like you are pregnant."

"Pregnant?" I ask in shock, "But my husband and I have been both so careful."

"Sometimes this happens. Have you been getting sick a lot lately?" the doctor asks.

"Yeah, every freaking morning, but I figured that was just food poisoning from my honeymoon," I say, grasping hard onto the seat under me.

Another nurse walks in, "Mrs. Earnhardt, we couldn't get a hold of your husband but your second contact is your father and he is on his way to pick you up."

"My Dad, you can't call my Dad! He'll be so mad at me for getting pregnant!" I yell and the doctor laughs.

"I thought you were married?"

I sigh, "Sorry, I think that was just a reflex from my teenage years."

She laughs again, "Here, I can schedule you an appointment with an OBGYN in town and we can get you all set up. I know it is the beginning of the school year, and you just got married, but this is a good thing. You will be a great mother."

I sure hope she is right.

**For the second time today, I am in pure and unadulterated shock. **I can barely move or say anything.

"Mrs. Earnhardt are you ok?" the gynecologist asks me, "I know this is quite shocking news."

"My Dad is in the waiting room, can you call him in. I need him right now," I say softly.

"Of course," the doctor says as she calls for a nurse to get my Dad.

He walks in moments later, his eyes filled with worry. He didn't ask many questions about why he was taking me to an OBGYN's office, but it hasn't stopped him from worrying.

"How is she doctor?" he asks. I hand him the sonogram and his eyes go wide.

"Baby, are you pregnant?" I nod. He smiles as he continues to look at the sonogram. "Wait a second, it has been a while since I have had children, but why are there two circles on this sonogram?" Suddenly his eyes go wider. "Twins?" he says in shock, "TWINS?"

"Rhett and I are having twins…."

**When I called to tell Mom I had big news that I needed to share with her, she said she also had her own set of news. **I thought it would be fun to meet back at the house to share our big pieces of news at once. Mom wasn't so sure about the idea, but I eventually convinced her that it would be good. I have been preparing Dad all day to see her. He is so nervous, but feels better after a bit of coaching.

Rhett practically fainted when I told him we were having twins. I think he is excited now, but a tad bit overwhelmed. Two babies instead of one is a huge feet, but we can do it.

I am so excited to tell Mom I am pregnant. I can't wait to go shopping for the babies, to get the nursery ready together, to get her advice about having children. I am really excited for this whole process. I never thought I would be this excited about having kids.

Mom pulls into the driveway and I meet her at the door. She takes in my expression and smiles. "What are you so excited about?"

"Just my news!" I say as I lead her into the living room. Dad is waiting patiently and his eyes go wide when he sees her.

"Christian," she says politely, taking a seat.

"Ana," he can barely muster out. I rub his back reassuringly. They need to be able to work together if they are going to be grandparents soon.

"Ok how about you go first," Mom says. She is also obviously very nervous.

"No, Mom, you go first."

She sighs, "Ok. Well I am kind of nervous to say this."

"Just go for it Mom," I encourage her.

"Ok," she says, "So… oh God, why is this so difficult?"

I suddenly get nervous. I hope Alex didn't ask Mom to marry him again. I have been so excited and happy about the babies, I haven't even thought about the possibility that Mom's news could possibly crush Dad. _Oh dear God, let this not crush Dad. _

"Fine, I'll just get out with it," she says, "Alex and I are moving to London. We want to move fairly soon, it will probably happen in the next few months."

Tears begin to form around my eyes. She is leaving? My Mom is leaving to go to another country _with him? _As I run to my room in tears, I can see the visions of my mother helping me prepare for the babies be squashed under Alex's big ugly feet.


	20. The Little Frog

**A/N – Hell, I needed this chapter to feel better lol. It's a little short, but I promise you'll like it :). I am on a downward slope; we are almost to the end! Thanks for joining me in my little experiment into the unknown! There is a small flashback in the middle of this chapter!**

**Chapter 20 – The little frog**

**Ana's POV**

** "Ok Ana, time for surgery," the mean doctor says to me and I want to cry. **

"What are you doing to me?" I yell back at the weird doctor.

"Total limb removal, of course," he cackles at me.

"Limb removal?" I scream, "I didn't ask you to remove my arms and legs!"

The doctor laughs at me, "Of course you did! Geez Ana, you signed the paperwork for it."

"What paperwork, what are you talking about?" I cry as the doctors hold down my arms.

I feel Alex at my ear, "Don't worry baby. It will be quick."

**"Ana," I hear Alex again, "Ana wake up, what the hell is wrong?"**

I am sitting up in bed, sweat pouring down my face. I finally see Alex faintly in the dark, rubbing my back.

"Must have been a bad dream," I say, trying to slow down my breathing.

"You'll be ok," he says, trying to reassure me. I jump up suddenly and head for the closet. "Where are you going?"

"On a walk," I say as I throw on a pair of sweats.

"Baby, its 3:00 AM, let me go with you," he says, about to get up.

"No, I'll call Kate. She is back from covering Afghanistan and she is on a weird sleep schedule so she'll probably be awake," I say as I grab for my phone.

"Ok," he says placating me, "Just take some pepper spray or something until she gets there. I don't like you going out alone."

"I can handle myself," I say, pulling out a butcher knife for effect.

He snorts, "Whatever you say."

**I smile as I see Kate walk up the street. **"Hey kid, fancy seeing you here," she jokes as she takes hold of my arm.

"I want to show you something," I say with a smile.

"Lead the way," she says as we walk.

"So, how are you?" she asks.

"I'm fine."

She looks at me with questionable eyes, "Prove it. You are moving to London tomorrow with a guy I still really don't know. You've signed divorce papers, and your daughter won't talk to you because you are leaving her and she thinks you're making terrible decisions."

"Did she tell you that?"

She nods her head, "Yeah, I got to hear all about it at dinner last night. The family is devastated you are leaving."

"Christian told me to go."

She groans, "Christian told you to go because he thinks this is what you want." I continue to stay quiet as we walk.

**"You should go," Christian croaks as we sit across the table from one another. **

"You want me to leave?"

He sighs, "Of course I don't want you to leave. No one wants you to leave. If I could drag you upstairs and tie you up, I would do it. But you deserve this…"

"What do you mean?"

He takes in a deep breath, "You have never had a chance like this before. You went from your parents, to college, to me, to being a Mother. You have never had a chance to be selfish before and I think you deserve a chance to be selfish. I just want you to be happy baby."

"But the babies? I can't leave Phoebe while she is pregnant," I say in a sob.

"We'll all help with her. Rhett and Phoebe are moving in with me full time and my mom will be over constantly. We'll find a way. I'll fly you back as much as you want"

"If she is still talking to me… "

"I'll talk to her," he says, "I'll make her see sense. I really think you deserve this. I don't want you to go, but I have been selfish enough with you to last a lifetime. It is your turn to have your experiences."

He walked out of the room before I could say anything else.

**"We keep walking, but where are we going?" Kate asks. **

My eyes light up when I see that we are on Pine Street. "We are almost there," I say as we continue to walk. Suddenly, I see Barnes and Nobles in the distance and I drag her to the end of the street.

"Geez, where are you taking me?" she asks as we stop at the display in the front of the store. It isn't all the way up yet, but the sign that says "The Little Frog by Anastasia Grey" stands proud.

"I wrote a book while you were gone," I proudly beam.

"AH! You did, you have wanted to do this forever!" she squeals as we take in the sign, "The Little Frog? What is it about?"

We both take a seat on a nearby bench and face my half-finished display. "Well, I wrote it when Phoebe was in junior high. All of her friends wanted to go to an R- Rated movie, but I wouldn't let her go because she was twelve and I am not a terrible parent. So she lied to Christian and me and snuck into the movie with her friends. So in the book, the little frog is faced with a tough decision and an older frog tells the younger frog that sometimes the hardest decisions have the best payouts. That going down the harder road, even though it won't be easy and will hurt, is the better decision in the end."

"That sounds like a terrible story," Kate says as I burst into laughter.

"I promise, it is cute. My editor loved it. She wants to make it a series." I say as we continue to stare at the sign.

"So little Frog, what are YOU going to do? Are you going to hop ponds or are you going to take the harder route?"

"That's different."

"How is it different?" Kate asks, "Are you going to run away from your problems and take an alternative to your life or are you going to go home and work things out with your husband?"

"It is so complicated with him," I sigh.

"Ana, it is not that complicated," she says, "I know he has made some asshole level decisions, but the man is miserable. The kids and Grace are trying to help him, but he misses you. Fuck it, you are miserable."

"I am not miserable," I say emphatically.

"Then how come you are sitting on a bench with me at 3 AM, staring at your unfinished Barnes and Noble display, and not at home with your boy toy who you claim to love."

"I liked you better when you were across the world."

"Elliot said the same thing to me right before we had sex last night," she says as we both laugh, "Why are you awake at 3 AM?"

I sigh, "Bad dream."

"That dream where you go to surgery and they try to remove your limbs?"

"That's the one," I say as she shakes her head at me.

"You said Christian was going through a midlife crisis, hell I think you are going through a midlife crisis."

"Ok, let's go home. I think I see the sun coming up," I say as I pull Kate off the bench.

"I have missed you," she says as she wraps me in a hug.

"I guess I have missed you too?" I say as she laughs.

"The truth hurts," she says as we both burst into laughter.

"You need a new sign off for when you are on the air," I laugh.

"What," she says offended, "You don't like my sign off?"

"It is fine Kate," I say placating her, "You know it's cool that you are living the dream that you have wanted since college."

"And I think it's cool that you could possibly live a new one," she says pointing back at the Barnes and Noble sign, "Life changes Ana. You just need to learn how to adapt."


	21. What is it with you and me

**A/N – Ok here it is - my last chapter. I want to be completely honest – your comments over the past couple chapters have kind of scared the shit out of me. Lol. My vision for the ending has morphed since I started this, but there are aspects to this last chapter that I have always pictured and it is ending how I have always wanted it to end so I feel good about it. Here it is and I hope you like it. If you don't like it, feel free to tell me how you feel, but just know that there is a person on the other side of this computer who is slightly afraid of you :)**

**Enjoy and thank you for joining me on this strange ride. This was new to me – some you have read my other stuff, it is very hearts and flowery. Doing something not so hearts and flowery was a challenge, but also very enjoyable. Anyway, I cried while editing this so I hope you cry too :)**

**ONE LAST THING – The title of this chapter makes me happy and giggle, once you figure out the meaning behind it, I hope you will be happy and giggle with me :)**

**Chapter 21 – What is it with you and me…**

**Christian's POV**

** "Phe, we have to let Mom go."**

"What?" Phoebe shrieks with devastation, "Dad, you can't."

"Honey, let me tell you something about your mother. She went from being a college student, to marrying me, to being your mother. While I doubt she regrets any of those things, she has never gotten the opportunity to explore chances like these. She's never been able to live her life on her own terms. We have to let her go. I hate it, but we have to," I say as my little girl begins to sob, "Baby don't cry."

"I… I…" she says in tears, "I am going to miss her so much."

Phoebe sinks down on my shoulder and cries in my neck. "I know baby, I will too."

"Do you really think that this is the best thing for her?" she finally asks after her tears subside.

"If it isn't, I'll drag her back from London myself…"

**Ana's POV**

** "I think that's the last of everything," Alex says to me as he rolls my suitcases down the hall, "The rest of it is already on its way to London."**

I nod as I sit in the kitchen, sipping Starbucks tea. "When are you going over to the house to say good bye to Phoebe and Ted?" he asks, trying to break me from my funk.

"If that's everything, we should go now," I say as I grab my stuff from him. We head to the Taxi and I take my seat as Alex loads our baggage. I try my best to ready myself for the journey I have ahead of me. I am about to say good bye to my kids. I am about to say good bye to the man I loved for 25 years. Tears begin to prick at my eyes as Alex gently wipes them away.

"It will get better Ana, I promise," he says softly.

Kate's voice blasts in my head, _"Will it?"_

**We pull up to the house and I want to puke. **This is just all too hard. "Stay in the car," I whisper to Alex and he nods.

"Of course."

I walk up to the porch and I am greeted by Phoebe at the door. "Hey sweetie," I say cautiously as she takes a deep breath.

"Hey Mom," she says sadly. I think she is already starting to show.

"I can be here as fast as your father can set up a plane for me," I say as I walk for her slowly.

She gulps, "I know."

I reach my arms open tentatively, "Can I have a hug?"

She nods sadly, "Ok." We hug and I can feel her tears on her cheeks. "I love you Mom. I am sorry I have been such a bitch to you."

"I deserve it," I say as my own tears begin to fall.

"I love you. You'll always be my mom, no matter how far you are," she says as my tears fall harder.

"I love you too honey. I promise to visit all the time," I say as my voice cracks.

She pulls away and walks further into the house to find tissues. Gail and Taylor are next.

"Are you sure you don't want a team in London?" Taylor asks, never changing his demeanor.

I snicker through my tears, "No Taylor, but thank you." I give Taylor a hug and he coughs several times, probably holding back some sort of emotion.

"Goodbye Ana, please call often," Gail says as we hug.

"Of course I will," I say in her embrace, "You'll be my friend for life." She lets out a sob as we pull away.

My baby boy finally steps out of the shadows, "Hey Mom."

"Hey honey," I say as we hug.

"Don't get into too much trouble over there," he says as I giggle, "But enjoy it as much as you can."

"I will sweetie."

Finally, his father walks towards me. His are eyes serious, and I can tell he is trying to keep any sort of emotion at bay. Ted pulls away and leaves me to Christian.

"Let's take a walk," he says, grabbing for my hand.

I nod and follow him around back. We continue to hold hands as we walk, staying in complete silence. No words could possibly ruin this moment with him, the quiet is beyond perfect.

"I signed the papers and they should be with your people by now," I finally say. I know he knows what I mean by "the papers". He nods. "Why haven't you tied me to the house and forced me to never leave," I blurt out after some more silence.

He smiles sadly, "I have learned that my wishes aren't always right. I am going to let you go, because I love you and when you love somebody you have to forfeit your wants and needs and allow them to be happy."

My tears pour down my face as he rubs my knuckles with his thumb. "I will always love you. No matter all the shit that has happened between us. Nothing will ever change that," I say as he pulls me close.

"And I you Miss Steele."

My tears fall harder as he holds me for the last time. "You have a plane to catch," he says hoarsely as we pull away. We both walk back around the house and he escorts me to the Taxi. When Alex opens the door to let me in, Christian nods his head, "I am trusting her with you Alex. Take care of her."

I think Alex is taken back by the fact that Christian is talking to him so civilly. "I will Christian."

I give him one last look as he nods. I climb into the Taxi and my eyes never leave his. The taxi begins to pull away, and my eyes are still locked with Christian's. When our eye contact breaks, tears begin to pour down my face again. Alex pulls me to him and I cry harder. Goodbye my life, hello an uncertain future.

**"Welcome back Ana," the crazy doctor says to me, "Now I have you exactly where I want you, you are mine."**

"Seriously," I scream, "What the fuck?"

The crazy doctor laughs, "Time to get rid of your legs and arms Ana _STEELE_."

The doctor turns on the saw and begins to cut my arms from my body. As I see my arm drop to the floor, all I can do is scream.

**"Ana, wake up," Alex says, trying to break me from my dream.**

"Sir, is she ok?" the flight attendant asks.

"Yeah she is fine," Alex says to the flight attendant as I find my bearings, "Can you get her some coffee?"

"Actually, I would like some tea," I snap.

"Right away ma'am," she says, running to fetch my tea.

"Ok, something has got to give, you need to tell me about these dreams," Alex says softly.

I sigh, "I don't want you to get all shrink on me."

"Well maybe _I do_. Tell me."

I sigh again, "In the dream, I am at a hospital and doctors are trying to cut off my limbs."

We both sit in silence as Alex takes in my response. "Do they ever cut off your limbs in the dream?"

This might be the weirdest conversation I have ever had with him. "The one I just had, they cut off my arms and then I woke up."

He sighs, "Why didn't you tell me about your bad dreams?"

"I don't know," I say, feeling accused of something terrible.

Alex's eyes are closed and his face morphs into extreme pain. "Ana…." He says, barely able to keep in his emotion, "…. You need to go home."

"What?" I almost scream.

"You don't want to go to London with me."

"Yes, I do Alex." He shakes his head.

"You have been miserable for months."

"No I haven't," I bark at him.

"Yes you have. I have tried to ignore it, thinking you'll eventually get over it, but you haven't. How long have you been having those dreams?"

Then it hits me. "Since we got back together."

I think Alex might cry. "Damn it. Baby, when we get off the plane, I am buying you a plane ticket back to Seattle."

"Alex," I cry. I feel like a piece of my heart is ripping from my body. This piece is much smaller. A larger piece broke off earlier today; this sadly feels easier by comparison.

Alex takes in the plane's audience and whispers, "Just promise me that before you jump back into a relationship with him, that you allow yourself time." He is about to lose it, "Figure out who you are before you become Mrs. Grey again. It was awful seeing you lose yourself, don't let it happen again."

"Thank you," I say as I kiss him, probably for the last time, "You'll find some hot European super model, I just know it."

He laughs, "Thank you."

I begin to cry again, "What if they don't accept me back. I have been so awful."

He shakes his head, "You are too good to give up on."

**After 10 minutes of awkwardness, we finally land at JFK International Airport. **Alex leads me over to a ticket counter and begins to purchase my ticket back home to Seattle. I calm myself and try to prepare to see my family again. I have too much to make up for with them. I need to win them back.

"Actually Mr. West, that won't be necessary," I hear a familiar voice say behind me. I whirl around and Christian is standing behind us. "I actually have a plane ready to take her back."

Alex laughs and nods, "Of course you do."

"Thank you for taking care of her West. I can never thank you enough," Christian says genuinely and Alex nods.

He quickly kisses me on my forehead and smiles sadly, "I'll send your stuff back from London as soon as I can."

"Thank you Alex," I whisper.

I walk to where Alex is supposed to depart and I watch him walk away. I sigh as I turn back around to my ex-husband. I smile, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, my legal team received our divorce papers, but it seems you forgot to sign several of the pages."

My eyes widen, "What?"

"Yes, it seems you missed several places to sign," he says in wonder, "What is it with you and me and unsigned documents?"

Happy tears begin to prick at my eyes. "I don't know."

He brings me into his embrace and holds me as I cry. For the first time in three years, the world seems right. The world seems as it should be.

"Let's go home."

**One Year Later**

**Ana's POV**

** "Baby, thank you for tonight," I say as Christian opens the door for me. **

"Anything for you Mrs. Grey," he says, escorting me inside.

"Why are we at Rhett and Phoebe's house," I ask him as he smiles.

"I wanted to see our granddaughters before their parents put them to bed, obviously," he says, walking me to the door.

"You love being a grandpa, don't you?"

"When you have granddaughters as adorable as ours, it is not hard to love being a grandpa," he says as he gives me a quick peck on the cheek.

As he opens the door to Rhett and Phoebe's house, I am taken back by his obvious scheme. Flowers are all over the house with candles lighting our path.

"What have you done?" I ask him as he leads me down the hall.

"Cant a man woo the woman he loves?" he asks as he leads me to Phoebe standing in the hall with granddaughter number one.

"Hey sweet Sadie," I say moving closer to my granddaughter, "Did you miss Mimi?"

"Mom, I hate that name," Phoebe groans.

"Get over it," I joke as I kiss Sadie on her small cheek.

"Read the onesie," Christian says behind me.

"Those are words I never ever expected to hear out of your mouth," I joke as I take a closer look at Sadie's onesie.

"_Will you?" _is written in big bright pink letters on her tiny onesie. "Will I what?" I ask as I turn to look at Christian.

He shakes his head at me, "We have another stop."

"Yes Mom, keep going," she says as I kiss Sadie goodbye and follow Christian.

The candles lead us to Rhett who is holding granddaughter number two. "Hey my sweet Leah," I say as I kiss her on both of her sweet cheeks.

"Read the onesie woman," Christian says exasperated. _"Renew your vows" _is scrunched in purple on Leah's onesie.

"Leah is an individual, she doesn't like pink," Rhett declares and I laugh.

"She is four months old, how do you even know?"

"Oh," Rhett says very seriously, "I know my daughter."

Christian and I both snicker as he grabs my hand. "We have one more stop."

"I figured," I smile as he leads me up the stairs. He slowly opens the door to stop number three.

"Well, look at my two favorite surprises," I say as Ted shakes his head at me.

"Can you not call me a surprise," Ted says and I laugh, "It hurts my feelings."

"Sorry honey," I say moving toward him, "And you my sweet granddaughter are the most adorable surprise anyone could ask for. You are Mimi's sweet little sonogram hider."

"Read Reese's onesie too," Christian says behind me.

As I take a look, tears come to my eyes. _"With my grampie?" _is scrunched in pink on Reese's onesie.

"You are letting them call you grampie?" I ask, excited.

"NO," he exclaims, "It just fit easier on the onesie then Grandpa."

"I don't know. I think Mimi needs to renew her vows with Grampie, and not a boring old Grandpa," I say moving over to him.

He wraps his arms around me and kisses me on the forehead.

"Ok Reesie, I think it's time we left these two alone," Ted says to Reese as they depart the room. Christian shuts the door behind them.

"So, what do you say?" he says, nuzzling my neck.

"Where would this little renewal ceremony happen?"

"My Mom's house of course. She'll take any excuse to have her great granddaughters over. Her and Dad renewed their vows there too, a month or so before you came in my life," he explains, "So…."

"So what?"

"Oh Dear God…" he says exasperated.

I laugh and grab his face in my hands, "Yes." I kiss him on his nose. "Yes, always yes."

"I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too…."


	22. Epilogue: The Little Frog Part 2

**A/N – It occurred to me that I didn't wrap up everything how I would have liked to wrap it up! So I thought I'd toss it in this Epilogue! Enjoy! Sorry it is so short - this is really my final chapter. Thank you for all the reviews and PMS**

**Chapter 22 – Epilogue: The Little Frog Part 2 **

**6 months after Christian picked Ana up from New York **

**Ana's POV **

** I am so nervous I can barely move from my seat. **"2:50" blares at me as I sit in a ball of nerves. Why did I agree to do this again? _Oh yeah, because you wanted to challenge yourself and you enjoy writing_. I turn back to the clock, "2:51" glares at me. I have an hour and nine minutes before Taylor is supposed to pick me up. Fuck challenging myself, I want to go home and hide. I don't think I could be any more anxious right now.

"Mrs. Grey," Celeste says through the speaker, "Alex West is on line 2."

I guess I was wrong. _Why is he calling me? _The last I spoke to him was insane, the situation got out of control – so why is he calling me?

"Send him through," I say anxiously.

"Hi," he says cheerfully.

"Hey," I reply back nervously, "…. How's it going?"

"Ana, calm down," he says with a laugh, "I come in peace."

His reassurance helps me breathe easy. "How can I help you West?"

"Well…" he says, "I was hoping for a new shipment of "The Little Frog"… we have a waiting list started."

"Seriously?" I gasp, "I sent you 1500 books!"

"What can I say? You are a sought after children's books author over here my friend," he says, "And I heard you've turned it into a series. I am going to need some of those as well…"

"Wow…. that's amazing."

"No," he says, pausing for effect, "You're amazing."

I take in a deep breath, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." We are silent for a while. This is still really awkward.

"How's my BFF?" he asks.

"Which one, you had so many," I joke.

"How is Phoebe, are you a grandmother of twins yet?"

"Actually, I am about a month or so away from being the grandmother of triplets, the first doctor miss-read the sonogram," I clarify.

I hear him gasp over the phone, "Triplets? God, Phoebe must be miserable right now."

"Oh yeah, she is on permanent bed rest. She is just like her father, she doesn't do bed rest well. I pray daily for my son-in-law," I say as Alex laughs. We pause some more.

"I miss you…" he finally says, "Do you miss me?"

I smile sadly into the phone, "I miss our friendship."

He sighs and I chuckle, "That is terrible."

I laugh harder, "Sorry West, it is true. I am seeing someone at the moment, and I am quite fond of him."

I hear his smile over the phone, "Good. I'm glad. He better be good to you."

I smile bigger, "He is."

"Well I better get going…," he says after some time, "It was good to hear your voice."

"And yours… let me know when you get married to an international super model."

He snickers, "Oh yeah, you'll be the first person I call. Send me those books ASAP."

"I will. Bye Alex."

"Bye Ana."

I hang up the phone and I feel like a humongous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. As I pull myself together, Celeste rings me again.

"Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey is on line 1."

I snicker, "What does he want? Send him through."

"Hi," I say immediately.

"Hi," he repeats my tone, "Are you nervous baby?"

"Nervous? I am terrified Christian."

"Why are you so terrified? It will go great," he says reassuringly.

"This isn't me. I am not at the front, I am editing for people who stand at the front. I stand behind counters and computer desks. I don't write. I don't have book signings and book readings," I vent.

"Well baby, you did write a book. And you will have a book signing and a book reading at four. I don't think you can get around it and I won't let you get around it," he says, "You'll be great. It is time to get in front of that microphone Mrs. Grey."

I sigh, "Can I do it?"

"Absolutely," he says immediately, "Phoebe threw her breakfast at Rhett after he told her she can't come to your book signing. That girl doesn't do bed rest."

"I wonder where she got that from," I snort, "Our poor son-in-law."

He laughs, "So are you still nervous about the book reading and book signing?"

"Yes."

"Well…" he says smoothly, "I know something that can help with that."

"Christian," I bark, "We said three more weeks before any of that…. Boundaries, Mr. Grey."

"Actually, Mrs. Grey, I think we mentioned three more weeks before we are going to "Make love." I don't think we mentioned kinky fuckery…"

Thank god he isn't on speaker phone. "What kind of kinky fuckery did you have in mind?"

"Well as luck would have it, I am wearing an extra durable tie this morning. And if I remember correctly from when I was in your office last week, I noticed that it is possible to tie someone to the filing cabinets from the desk…."

I try not to giggle at his extensive study of my office. "We should really wait the three more weeks Christian." We pause some more and I can feel my resolve waning. This technically isn't "making love." We'll save all of that for three weeks from now. "How fast can you get over here?"

"Five minutes…"

"Bring the tie with you Mr. Grey."

"I can't wait baby."

**I dress as Christian looks over at me smugly. **I walk over and help him adjust his tie. "You know, you wearing that tie will be distracting while I am trying to speak," I say as I give him a light kiss on the side of the mouth.

"I would say that I am sorry, but I am not," he says as he pulls me in for a deeper kiss.

"AH,"I say, swatting at him, "Three more weeks Grey, I mean it."

"It really can't come a moment too soon…" he mutters under his breath.

Taylor knocks and I open the door. "It is time to go," he says stoically.

I take in a deep breath and Christian squeezes my shoulders. "You can do this. You are going to have one hell of a book reading and book signing baby, and I'll be in the back checking you out the entire time."

I giggle and kiss him again, "Thank you for being so supportive, I have been a nut for months about releasing the book series."

"I have one nut at home, pregnant with three of my grandchildren and another nut trying to make it as a published author. I am the King at handling crazy, nutty women…."

"What if the triplets are all girls?"

He shakes his head, "I don't want to think about having 5 women in the family…. 7 if you add Mom and Mia… that is just way too much."

Taylor interrupts us again, "Mrs. Grey we need to go. Sawyer has informed me that Barnes and Nobles is packed so we need to get a move on."

"Packed?" I ask, my eyes wide.

Taylor smiles, "Yes Ma'am, packed to capacity. We need to move."

I turn to Christian and smile, "I am an author."

"You are MY author."


End file.
